I was in 2 Blog Carnivals this week.

It is great motivation for me to write posts, or find old ones I have done.

Science and Sensibility did one  on staying mobile during birth.

Reality Rounds was really brilliant on her What’s So Scary About Health Care post.  Very clever the way she changed our names, etc.

Read and Enjoy!

You will help spread the wonderful message of Enjoying Birth!

for Enjoy Birth http://enjoybirth.wordpress.com

This is birth up close!  Literally.  These are graphic birth photos, but show how easily mom stretches and baby is born!

I think they are beautiful!

I think the answer depends.

Think about 3 different women who want to come to America.

1. One woman might have to climb on an overfilled boat, risking her life and nearly dying as she escapes over the ocean to come to this land.  This experience could certainly be life altering.  It may very well color the rest of her life, positively or negatively.  (I overcame this amazing struggle and here I am triumphant!  OR Holy crap, that was SO hard I don’t know if I can go on!  By the way, neither response is “right”.  No one would judge the woman with the 2^nd response.)
2. One woman may buy an airplane ticket, sit on a comfortable 747 and fly to America with a nice smooth flight and landing.  She is happy to be in America.  Those welcoming her are glad she is here safe and sound.  She may only travel by plane 2-4 times in her life, so it is pretty memorable.  But the journey itself probably wouldn’t be life changing; it would simply be a journey.
3. One woman may learn to fly an ultra-light plane to lead a flock of geese into America teaching them to migrate.  This experience could certainly be empowering and life altering.
   

Birth experiences could fall into these 3 categories.

1. a traumatic journey
2. a normal journey
3. a magical journey

I think hopefully most moms get at least the normal journey experience.

I would love it if all moms got a magical birth.

It would be awesome if no one had to experience a traumatic birth.

As a Childbirth Educator and Doula that is what I hope for my moms – a magical birth or at least a normal birth.  I try to help them avoid a traumatic birth.

A few key points to keep in mind when thinking about birth.

• Birth is unpredictable, no matter how much we prepare and plan, we can’t control it.  There is an element of letting go and allowing that is part of the journey.
• We should still take time to prepare and plan and make CHOICES to help us have the best birth possible.  That is part of the journey.
• We (birth workers, women, friends and family) need to respect the fact that birth can be life altering for some moms and babies.
• It is the MOM and BABY who determine what type of birth they had.
• I have seen births I would label as traumatic, but mom found it to be a normal journey.   I let her have that reality.  I know some moms have what some would label a normal journey but mom found it to be traumatic.  We need to support mom in that.  Let her grieve and hopefully that will help her heal.

I am lucky and have had all 3 types of births.

Lucky because it helps me see both sides of the coin.

Lucky because it helps me better support my moms who have challenging births.

Lucky because 2 of the births DID shape who I am as a person.

My first birth was traumatic

and was certainly life changing and did set the tone of my mothering my oldest son.  We both had a lot of emotions to deal with stemming from that birth.  I can honestly say that almost 12 years later, I think we have both healed. My mothering Devon has been effected by so much more than his birth, but it really did color my mothering of him for many years.

Would we have a different relationship if Devon was born vaginally at full term, rather than by emergency cesarean and a preemie?  I would think yes.  If nothing else, I wouldn’t have spent our first 2 years together, going from Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy.  So yes it did shape my mothering, but I think the choices and experiences we have shared together since his birth have continued to shape me as a mother.

My second birth was just normal.

Vaginal birth, epidural, hospital… a blissfully normal journey compared to that first birth.   That birth didn’t really affect my mothering at all.  However Post Partum Depression for 8 months after certainly set the tone of mothering Carson.    It was a dark period of my life.  I think the PPD did shape my mothering, but I think getting control of myself and pulling myself out changed me more.  In the end it was a growing experience.

My third birth was magical.

Vaginal, Hypnobabies, un-medicated, comfortable and enjoyable hospital birth.  It changed who I AM certainly.  Now I teach childbirth classes, I am a doula a lactation educator a birth activist.  If I hadn’t had that birth experience I would certainly not be those things.  (Well, probably still a birth activist in some form)

Did it change me as a mother?  It definitely empowered me as a woman.  From that experience I feel stronger and more powerful.  That in itself has probably changed my mothering to some extent.  I think my experience raising my older boys certainly have a much larger effect on me as a mother.  I am more laid back, accepting, loving, enjoying the moments with my “baby” and my 2 older boys.

The Journey from Pregnancy to Motherhood certainly CAN affect both mother and child. Birth is just one part of this journey.  Their experience could affect their relationship and her mothering.  I think birth has the power to be life changing.  Most moms experience birth as a normal journey, certainly with cause for celebration and seen as a miracle, but they don’t feel it is a life changing experience for them.

I think my job as a Childbirth Educator and Doula is to help moms have the best birth possible; sharing information, supporting them in the choices THEY make and then continue to help support them as they process the journey after their birth.   I love supporting moms as they travel along their path.

Thanks to these blog posts for causing me to reflect on this topic.

Talk Birth

Stand and Deliver

Bellies and Babies

Sweet Salty

This looks like a fun idea.  Great for a dad who wears suits to work and might have to go straight to the hospital.  Have a pair of Daddy Scrubs packed in the hospital bags for him! 

I know as a doula, having comfortable clothes makes my job that much easier!

In honor of Reality Rounds hosting a “scary” Halloween edition of Change of Shift.  I am reposting the video I made a year or so ago with the help of a fellow Independent Childbirth Educator, Lasi.

50 Ways to Scare a Mother (based on the song 50 ways to leave your lover.)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms3vVsxpIbY]

Enjoy!

It is very important to be able to move around during your birth.  It helps you stay more comfortable and helps your baby to be born more easily.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKqDW9JeTHM]

Some moms worry that if they use hypnosis they will have to stay laying down and in a trance to use hypnosis.  There are some hypnosis for childbirth programs that tend to be this way.  But the great thing about Hypnobabies is it is “eyes open childbirth hypnosis”.

In Hypnobabies moms create a mental lightswitch.

• On is on (not in hypnosis).
• Off is completely limp and loose, deep in hypnosis and comfortable.
• Center, you are still deep in hypnosis and comfortable, the top of your breasts to the middle of your thighs remains comfortable and relaxed AND you can have your eyes open, walk and talk as you desire.

For me I spent most of my birthing time in center.  I walked the halls, sat in the rocking chair, sat on the birth ball, stood in my room, moved however felt best to me.  The whole time I was in hypnosis, calm and comfortable.

As a Hypnobabies hypno-doula, I so appreciate the center switch.  I see my clients are able to open their eyes, walk, talk, shower, sit on birth balls, do pretty much anything!  By following their body in moving to different positions, it helps their baby move down and out more quickly!  Because they are still deeply in hypnosis, they are calm and comfortable while moving around.

So if you are a mom interested in using hypnosis, be assured if you use Hypnobabies, you can still move around easily while staying in hypnosis.

Personally, I didn’t care how I looked or what I wore during my birth.  (Or truthfully I don’t care much about that very much at all)  I am all about comfort!  The hospital gowns were fine with me.

Some moms don’t like to wear them, because a hospital gown makes them feel like a patient.  They can choose to wear a big t-shirt or a skirt and tank top.  You don’t HAVE to wear a hospital gown, even if you birth in a hospital.  That is up to you!

If you want the convenience of the hospital gown, but want to look cute.  Check out this link to Labor Looks.  I think these are a great idea!    I don’t think you NEED one, but if you can afford it and you WANT one, go for it!

For those of you who are thinking I am crazy to keep telling you to ask your care providers all these questions – watch this!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuLO0PTo5ys]

Thanks to Passion for Birth Blog for sharing this!

This is what Carson (my 9 year old) was saying to a pregnant mom the other day.

I will say, it is true.  My Hypnobabies students tend to have calm peaceful births! 

Then this morning he was saying he wanted to be a midwife when he grew up, but he didn’t know if there were men midwives.  I said there were.  He then said, “But they are called midWIVES, not mid Husbands!”

I am glad that I am inspiring him.