I had been experiencing prodromal labor for 3-4weeks which was just taunting me because my OB had told me I wasn’t allowed to go past 40 weeks if I wanted an intervention free VBA2C. I had done everything possible to naturally speed things along to no avail…spicy foods, intimacy with dh, sitting/swaying on the birth ball for hours on end, walking, doing hundreds of stairs, red raspberry leaf tea (blah), Evening primrose oil, pineapple, prenatal massage, acupuncture, Baby Come Out track from Hypnobabies, etc. She was also posterior so I was trying to encourage her to turn as well as get my body to start my birthing time. I was so desperate because I was once again in the same situation I was in with my son (baby #4…first baby was a c-section, 2 & 3 were VBACs and #4 was another c-section). I had a clock ticking with him…have him by 39.3 weeks or it would be a repeat c-section. Birthing time never happened on it’s own with him so he became my 2nd c-section which has caused me so much more trouble finding anyone who would allow me to vbac with this pregnancy.
My ob this time had given me until 40 weeks to go on my own. She wouldn’t induce (which I agree with) but wouldn’t let me go past 40 weeks either. Wednesday, 2 days before my duedate and that all important 40 week appt, I had nothing all day to indicate birthing day for the first time in weeks. No contractions, nothing. My sister,who was due 2 weeks after me, had come home from the hospital that day with her new baby who was born early at 37 weeks. That was TOUGH. I braved a terrible snowstorm and very icy conditions to meet her at my parents house to get to hold my sweet nephew. I held him for at least 2hrs and I fell deeper and deeper in love with him. My milk even let down while I was holding him! I truly feel, now, that this was jump starting my system.
Went to bed about 11 that night and slept well all night, but woke up to PWs at 6am and pink watery “show”. I hadn’t spotted one time in the whole pregnancy even when I lost my mucus plug and after getting membranes swept, so this was quite the red flag for me. They weren’t terribly strong and only every 18-20min apart but they were different. I had p**nful contractions with prodromal labor but these gave me the perfect feeling/mental image of a bearing down pressure with no p**n. I asked dh to stick around (my inductions were fast) and just work from home for a while just to see which way they went. By lunchtime, they really hadn’t gotten much stronger although they were a bit closer and not letting up for anything. Dh really needed to go to work just for a bit so I told him to go on. While he was getting ready to leave though, they suddenly jumped to about 10-12min apart and increased in intensity. In the past few weeks of prodromal labor, I would be sure it was baby day but the minute dh left for work, everything would stop. I was sure it was from my body being “afraid” to labor with him gone, so I begged him on Thursday just to stay home this time so my contractions didn’t stop again (LOL this sounds silly looking back but I was a woman on the edge at that point lol). By 4pm I was certain it was baby time but it was going so slow. They were still about 10-12min apart but nothing was stopping them. During this time I alternated between deepening, easy first stage, and birth day affirmations while sitting on my birth ball and pacing around the house. I wanted to get on with my day as usual but I had so much anxiety (noise and little things my other children did agitated me more than usual) I felt I needed to stay in my room and keep things as calm as possible while dh took care of the kids.
At 5pm I started feeling some really strange sensations around my c-section scar. It felt like her head was popping back up out of the pelvis during each PW and I got afraid. As much as I wanted a vbac, keeping my baby alive and safe was #1 and I knew the ruptures had to happen to SOMEBODY and didn’t want that somebody to be me. I was 45 min from the hospital and didn’t want to risk it, so I called my ob. I knew I was probably sabotaging my vbac and NCB Hypnobabies birth if I went in to the hospital too early. As I predicted, she brought me in to L&D. The second we parked in the parking lot about 6pm, my PWs picked up to about 6-8min apart or so after hours of being stuck at a 10-12min apart phase. Got inside and was hooked up to the monitors just to make sure the baby was fine and there was no rupture. Everything looked GREAT! YEAAAA!!!
Now to decide what to do from there. I was still dilated to 2cm which is what I was the week prior at my 39 week appt, so no one believed it was truly my birthing day. I was also still feeling perfectly fine with a bit of focusing through my contractions. Everyone was SO respectful and let me focus in quiet during each PW and all the nurses were on board with my Hypnobabies requests and even excited about it. We agreed that going home would be a waste of time because my goal was to head into L&D at 6min apart anyway. Since she didn’t think it was my birthing time and is just a totally laid back OB anyway, she told me just to stay overnight on 24hr observation. We got a nice quiet room away from everyone else who was having their babies because I’m sure they didn’t want to be bothered by us on a busy night just as much as we didn’t want to be bothered by them.
They took me off the monitors and encouraged me to do whatever I wanted to encourage birthing time or just rest. We got to a room about 7 or so and just watched tv, timed PWs, talked, and walked. It really felt like a fun date night with dh!
I sat on the birthing ball quite a bit and just walked and drank and ate…I had no restrictions at all.
The PW quickly got more and more intense and were already about 4min apart. From 7-11:30 no one came in our room at all and I didn’t have to deal with any monitoring. The PWs were just intense pressure with no p**n.
When she came in at 11:30 just to hook me up for 15 min of monitoring, she noticed I seemed to have to focus more through the contractions than I had been before (and I had my Hypnobabies playing on my ipod to help me focus more at that point) and asked if she could check me. I was 7cm and she nearly fell through the floor. This was totally a God thing that they thought all that time it wasn’t my birthing time because I was able to just be left alone with no restrictions just like I had prayed for.
She called the doctor and started trying to get me admitted as a “labor patient”. I was ready! I felt such a HUGE exhilarating rush of energy and determination at that point. Almost instantly the anesthesiologist showed up (very creepy like she sensed my progress and needed to come spread drugs..the nurses had no time to go get her so I don’t get how she knew). She looked like the mean principal from the movie Matilda and even though we were trying to joke with her she had no smiles. Looking back, I think that was another way God was helping me get the natural childbirth I had prayed for. She terrified me and I just wanted her out of the room because I sensed such bad vibes from her. I stayed in my BOP and was EASILY and CONFIDENTLY able to smile and tell her that we wouldn’t be needing her services because I was feeling no p**n.
No one could believe it. They kept saying over and over I was the calmest easiest patient they had ever had. At this point they gave me the IV lock but no iv. About 1am they checked me again and I was only to an 8. I lost a lot of wind in my sails because I thought for sure she would be there by then (I went from 7-delivery in 45 min with my other two VBACs but they were induced).
*BOP STARTS HERE*
By 1:45ish I was just a 9 and baby was still high (and possibly still posterior). She said I was EXTREMELY stretchy and if I wanted to start pushing while she held the cervix back I could but I declined. At that point I felt like my Hypnobabies went out the window and I felt p**n for the first time in the whole process. I couldn’t focus, I felt tremendous p**n, and I couldn’t figure out how to get back to the peaceful place I had before. I just wanted it all over at that point. I felt like I was quickly loosing control at that point. That’s also when I started begging for an epidural.
Luckily my wonderful husband and amazing nurse both knew that’s not really what I wanted and knew I was SO close even though I couldn’t realize that. I knew by the time they got my epidural to me and in me it would all be over, but I needed something right THEN and didn’t care what it was.
lol Up until that point standing and swaying or bending over the bed was the most comfortable position, but not anymore. I just wanted in the bed on my left side holding onto the bed rails with my face buried in the railing through each PW. My nurse was trying to encourage me to change positions and I refused to listen to anyone.
Dh put my “Pushing Baby Out” Hypnobabies track on my ipod and put my ear buds in but I was too unfocused to listen. At that point my body was already bearing down and pushing on it’s own and I hated that. I had always heard that the pushing made the p**n feel much better in a relief sort of way but it didn’t so much for me. It reminded me of that uncontrollable feeling you get when you are throwing up. You know it’s going to hurt and feel miserable but your body does it anyway.
lol I didn’t like not being in control of that. One thing that helped during this part was praying and begging God to hold me, help me, take some of the edge off. At times I got nervous about her heart rate dropping and I would ask the Lord during those PWs just to keep her safe because I would gladly take the discomfort if He would protect her. Those were my easiest PWs even though I wasn’t asking for them to be easy. Knowing I was doing it for her made them feel like nothing. I made a lot of grunting, mmmmmm sounds at that point also totally beyond my control.
I had totally forgotten about the “ahhh” to breathe the baby out. I kept apologizing for being “out of control” and they kept saying, “Are you kidding? You are more in control than most women with epidurals!” I also got to experience it as the woman across the hall from me had an epidural and was screaming so loud. I didn’t feel it though at all! I felt like I was a raving lunatic, but it helped that everyone was still amazed at my weakest moment at how calm and relaxed I was. WOW I cannot imagine what it would be like without Hypnobabies!!!!!!!!
At 2:15am my ob was finally there, checked me, and said I was complete but baby’s head was still at a -1. As soon as she walked in I said, “I’m SO SORRY I got you out of bed in the middle of the night!” LOL I was SO apologetic to everyone for some reason. My water hadn’t broken yet, so she asked if she could break it. I said absolutely NOT because I knew it would make the p**n worse. She said that it very well could make it worse for a little bit but it would go faster. I said I didn’t care, I knew I couldn’t handle any more p**n than what I already had and with her head still being so high I knew it could be a long pushing phase. Maybe 10 seconds later I asked her if she promised it would make the baby come faster (LOL) and she said yes. I said ok.
They waited until between a PW and broke my water at 2:23am. Fluid shot out everywhere soaking my ob and everyone laughed. She went to get booties on her shoes while the nurses were to break the bed down and get me ready to meet my baby. With the next PW, they said I could push. With that first PW I pushed like my life was ending if I didn’t get that baby out…yes completely opposite what I had planned which was to breathe the baby out. I felt the head come out in a very sharp stinging, burning, pressure sensation and them telling me to stop pushing with lots of commotion trying to hurry and get the doctor back in there but I didn’t listen. She was born in that one push (with one loud scream from me that
dh now says wasn’t loud at all I just thought it was
lol) at 2:25am, 2 minutes after the ob broke my water. She was partially caught by nurses and partially caught by the bed that hadn’t gotten broken down yet. My ob walked in just as this happened and just got to see her plopping out onto the bed.
LOLThe first thing she said (as the nurse was yelling out the time of birth) was “I told you it would be faster!” LOLOL They immediately put the baby in my gown to warm her up and let me nurse while they did all they needed to do as far as exams through the collar of my gown.
lol Never had this with my other babies so it was AMAZING! Her apgar was 8/9 and she looked so healthy and alert as was I! She stayed there nursing for over an hour. They did her exam and bath right beside my bed about 5am then gave her back to me. It was simply an amazing experience. I KNOW I couldn’t have done it without Hypnobabies, my amazing husband/coach, and the Lord carrying me through.
Kerrigan Elizabeth was born at 2:25am weighing 6lb13oz on 1.14.11 just about 8 hours before the appointment where I was going to have to discuss c-section or other interventions to get her here. Just in the nick of time, whew! I have felt AMAZING and she has been BY FAR the most alert and content baby I have ever been around. Also, I had episiotomies with my other two VBACs and they were very painful and took a long time to heal. With my tear (at least these last 6 days) has had NO pain at all! It feels like I never even pushed a baby out.
LOL I have had less bleeding too only lasting 5 days. It has been by far the best childbirth of my 5. If I am ever blessed again to have another child, I will definitely use Hypnobabies again and hopefully correct the ending next time.
Oh and p.s. when my ob came back in to see me the next evening she said as she was leaving, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t just go with the repeat c-section?” (I had fought and fought for a vbac for 9mo lol)
My friend Brittany wrote this great post about a vomit filled ride at a carnival. It sounds gross, but the story is great. I loved it so much I am actually going to blog about it twice, so go ahead and read it.
photo credit: danoxster
