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No this isn’t a joke, it is a great analogy of how caddy’s are a lot like doulas.
Would your husband want to golf without a caddy?
Then why should you have to birth without a doula?
Why, why, why must you try to scare moms? Why can’t you just say “It’s hospital policy”, or give them pros and cons rationally, then let the mom decide. Why lie to them? Why bully them? Why treat them like they are a stupid child? It really is starting to make me MAD!
I am a birth doula, I have the honor of helping families during the birth of their baby. In each birth I see different things. I also have seen a few different types of births in a few different hospitals. (I have my first homebirth coming up in March). I have enjoyed many nurses and care providers and been shocked by others.
The problem with a hospital birth is you have little control over who you are going to get when you go into a hospital. Having a doula does help… but there is a limit to what we can do, we can do clean up and encourage moms after a negative experience… but as a doula, I can’t ask for a different nurse or care provider, that is up to the parents.
It is amazing how much of an impact the nurses and other care providers can have on a birth. I saw this at the last birth I attended. This mom was subjected to quite a few different scare tactics/tirades to try and get her to bend to the will of the hospital/nurse. The OB was actually ok with some of the things C. wanted, but the nurse wasn’t. So she made it difficult. I mentioned a few times to C. and her husband they could ask for a new nurse, but they chose not to.
This nurse was efficient and had some good ideas for positioning with pillows. (Mom had an epidural and I am used to helping moms without epidurals) So I learned some good ideas from her and she did get a bit nicer after C. complained to the OB about her.
Here is what happened… night shift was great, very supportive of C and her needs. Morning shift came on and everything changed!
When the nurse originally came in after shift change, I made a comment about going to get C. something new to drink. The nurse FREAKED OUT! She wasn’t calm and nice saying, “that is against hospital policy”, she was in C.’s face saying, “You are a high risk mom as a VBAC, your uterus could rupture at any time and you would need an emergency cesarean. If you eat you could aspirate your vomit…” and on and on… leaning over C. lecturing her. She must have said emergency cesarean at least 3 times in 3 minutes.
I didn’t help, because I made a comment about the studies say it is safe. Well, that was the wrong thing to say. The nurse said we should ask our OB. Which we did and the OB said it was fine to drink water. So there! Not to mention of course it is safe to eat and drink during your birthing time. Study after study have shown that it is safe. The nurse brought me the form I needed to sign as the doula saying I wouldn’t interfere with the staff or I would be asked to leave.
C. had explained about the pains in her legs breaking through the epidural. The nurse said she would send the anesthesiologist in. Well, he was the biggest pompus donkey’s bum. He called himself the candy man. He was condescending and outright rude to C. He started off ok, talking about the epidural asking questions and saying that we might need to replace it if the next bolus didn’t help. That she was no longer having a natural birth, so she might as well do whatever they say. Then he started lecturing C. about how she needed to listen to the nurses and do what they told her. How she should have gotten the pitocin last night and she needs to be a good girl. Then went on to explain how she can’t eat or drink because she might need a cesarean and might need general anesthesia and would need to be intubate and if she vomited she might aspirate. I SO wanted to say, “So you are an incompetent anesthesiologist, because that is pretty rare if things are done correctly.” BUT I didn’t.
After he leaves C. says, “I do not like this day shift! I am going to talk to Dr. H. about this.” I again said, “We can ask for a new nurse!” Dr. H. comes in around 8 and C. explains what happened. Dr. H. says that shouldn’t have happened. She said it was ok to drink some water. Then goes on to say, “well, you are doing ok, but this is a big baby, that is my only worry that you might not be able to push this baby out. This could be a 8 pound baby.” C. and I look at each other speechless… hello! Wasn’t C. just explaining how we didn’t want the negativity. C. says, “I am NOT worried about the size of this baby or pushing it out.” Dr. leaves and C. says, “I don’t believe that big baby bull**** I can push any size baby out.” I told her what a great VBAC patient she is not believeing or accepthing any of the fear they are trying to push on her. She really was AWESOME. WE kept saying “Bubble of Peace” I loved that she didn’t let any of this crazy attitudes and negativity around her get her down.
The nurse she had the attitude “It’s all about the baby” Basically mom didn’t matter in her eyes. A few times C. said, “Can you wait to do that until after my pressure wave?” “No, I need to make sure your baby is safe, that is more important!” How is C. supposed to respond to that? “No I’m more important than my baby!”
Well, yes in many ways she is. She is at least AS important as her baby. Baby wasn’t showing any signs of distress, she had just fallen off the monitor. Baby was always doing great. So the nurse could have waited for 40 seconds! I had already had an altercation with the nurse earlier in the birth and was a bit worried she might try to kick me out. So I just encouraged C. verbally through these few time when the nurse told C. she didn’t matter throughout the end of her birth. (She didn’t want to be touched at all during pressure waves and that should be respected above all else. I guess I could understand if the baby was showing signs of distress, but again, baby was fine.)
The anesthesiologist came back in when C. needed another bolus. He proceded to tell her how it would hurt while she was pushing, that if she didn’t push well, they would have to turn the epidural down so it would hurt more. C. just stared at him. He then said, “Are you listening to me!?” She nods yes. After he left we asked that he not be allowed in the room anymore.
At 1:20 C. was feeling a LOT of pressure and after breathing through it for awhile, asked to get checked. She was 10 cm still 0 station, so they didn’t want her to actively push yet… labor down. So for an hour, C. struggled to breathe through her desire to push. I said it was ok to push if it felt better, so she did push sometimes, but tried not to.
Then 2:20 the nurse decides it is time for a practice push. C. did great and nurse sets up the stirrups. She gets her up and then C. does 1 push and the baby starts crowning. Then the nurse has her wait there while she finishes setting up the room and calls for the OB. I was trying to help C. just pant through it telling her she was doing great, because there wasn’t anyone even standing there in case the baby came out. I so wanted to go and catch that baby. She just NEEDED to push! Finally the OB gets there, puts on her booties and then C. is saying I need to push the baby out, I don’t care who catches.
Then they have her purple push 4 times in one pressure wave and the baby is out. I don’t understand this…. WAIT for 20 minutes while the OB gets here, but then when the OB is here, you have 1 minute to get the baby out. PUSH PISH PUSH… come on you can do one more push. I had to remind her to breathe, they didn’t even give her a chance to breathe.
Then the baby is on her. The baby nurses are hovering like vultures. C. says I want to keep her for awhile. They leave her alone for maybe 5 minutes and then they come back… we just need her for a few minutes she’ll be right back…. Swoop and she is off. C. then has to just lay there while she is stitched up alone on the bed. I talk to her and help her focus on something else, but if she had her baby in her arms that would have helped more.
The baby was 9 pounds 6 ounces. 19.5 inches. What an awesome job C. did proving that she COULD push out any size baby! Baby latched right on and nursed like a champ when she got in her moms arms.
What I love about C. was that she didn’t believe a word they said. IT just made her stronger and more determined to get her VBAC and she did! She ROCKED! It sucked that the end was her waiting in such an uncomfortable position for so long. I wish I could have gone and caught that baby for her.
Things did go well overall, but C. would have had a much better experience if her care providers trusted birth and were KIND and respectful to her.
Having a birth doula can help you have a more enjoyable birth!
The Advantage of having a Doula.
Studies have shown the following benefits of having a doula present at birth:
45% reduction in c-section rates
25% shorter labor
60% reduction in epidural requests
50% reduction in pitocin use
31% reduction in analgesia use
34% reduction in forceps or vacuum deliveries
Women who have used a doula at birth are more satisfied with their births, feel more confident before and after the birth, show a quicker rate of bonding with their newborn, are less likely to have post-partum depression, and more likely to breastfeed.
Having a doula is a wonderful way to help you have an enjoyable birth. Doulas can assist moms in any birthing situation, from moms who want an un-medicated birth, moms who plan on epidurals to moms with planned cesarean births. Each doula has different training and specialties, so interview different doulas to find one that matches your needs!
What do doula’s do exactly? We provide support to a mother and her family during her birth. We do this in many different ways…
Written by Dale Bernucca, Childbirth Educator and Doula, with input from other childbirth educators at www.independentchildbirth.com.Childbirth Educators and Doulas have permission to share this article with their students/clients, as long as the author and website are cited.
Support: sup·port (s -pôrt , -p rt )
tr.v. sup·port·ed, sup·port·ing, sup·ports
To bear the weight of, especially from below; To hold in position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping; To be capable of bearing; withstand; To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen; To provide for or maintain, by supplying with money or necessities; To furnish corroborating evidence for; To aid the cause, policy, or interests of, To argue in favor of; advocate; To endure; tolerate; To act in a secondary or subordinate role to (a leading performer). source: The Free Dictionary
Synonyms: uphold, back1, advocate, champion
uphold: maintain or affirm in the face of a challenge or strong opposition; back: material or moral support intended to contribute to or assure success; advocate: verbal support often in the form of pleading or arguing; champion: fight for one that is under attack or is unable to act in their own defense source: The Free Dictionary
It is natural to want to consider having a woman experienced in labor and birth with you when you are in labor. Women have birthed with women for centuries (midwife) and in many parts of the world including the USA women still bring a female relative or friend with them along with their partner when they go to their birth place or make a conscientious choice to birth at home specifically because they desire the female presence to be primary.
As we have moved further and further away from birth as a normal, organic process women find themselves intuitively feeling a sense of an incomplete birth setting as they near their due date. Some women are unable to define what is missing because they’ve never witnessed a natural birth taking place where it began, in the home. Today the majority of births in America take place in hospitals and hospitals at one time denied women any family support in labor and birth. We are making progress as today many fathers want to be at their children’s births and most hospitals are beginning to outright protect a pregnant woman’s patient rights.1
Still, women find themselves desiring ‘more’. As birth educators, women who have experienced joyful births and as women who have been with women at birth can attest ‘I need something more’ is an oft repeated thought in the laboring woman’s mind. The ‘more’ that the laboring mother cannot define is the intangible that a clinical staff can rarely provide thoroughly if at all: physical, mental and emotional support. This lack can be attributed to many causes ranging from the clinical need to distance oneself emotionally in order to best assess and manage the medical case to never having witnessed or experienced a spontaneous, unmedicated birth over an intact perineum.
After viewing, sharing and learning about natural childbirth without interventions you may find yourself realizing that you need something ‘more’ at your birth. Hopefully the ‘more’ will be a bit easier for you to define now that you know what your body is capable of doing and you’ve explored where you are on your mental and emotional journey to your baby’s birth day.
Take a look at the definition of ‘support’ above. Right now you are your own best resource for planning your birth. You know yourself better than anyone else you’ve met or will meet as you near the start of your labor. If there is something that you identify as needing bolstering in your labor now is the time to give serious consideration to mending it. For most women who understand the physical process of labor the ‘more’ that is needed is recognized immediately and it is easy for them to choose from the above list why they desire an extra female presence at their birth. If you don’t understand the process of birth then you are probably finding it more difficult to pinpoint exactly why you want a doula and that’s okay IF you let your doula know that. This will help her be at ease in opening herself up to you and exploring all avenues of support she is experienced in giving.
Your doula helps you best when you are proactive in learning about natural birth and all of your birth options. Many books, articles even doula certifying organizations themselves can put out messages about doula definitions. Some say that doulas provide only comfort measures. Some say that doulas are advocates. Some say that doulas cannot make decisions for you. Some say that doulas provide information. The truth is that doulas can be one or all of these things but what they are is dependent on the individual mother they are supporting at that one birth. A doula can play different roles for the same woman for different births. The greater the mutual exchange of insight ~ including setting boundaries for your doula ~ the more positive your birth experience will be especially if you find yourself presented with a cesarean for true medical indications.
If you are hearing your intuitive voice say that you need something ‘more’ start thinking about what you know about natural birth, all birth options in your area from homebirth to hospital birth, what you know about yourself and what you know about who you currently have in mind to be at your birth.
If you are early in your pregnancy start with a comprehensive natural childbirth class. You will need time to:
• Learn about keeping yourself low-risk and healthy so you can keep all of your options open
• Learn about your local birth care options
• How labor begins
• Variations of normal first stage labor
• Variations of normal second stage labor
• Variations of normal third stage labor
• Recognizing the true medical situation requiring medical intervention
• How your baby’s health is affected by how you labor including,
• Breastfeeding and how you and your baby’s breastfeeding relationship is affected by how you labor
• Understand how your local birth care community affects your birth (you may decide it’s your careprovider that’s leaving you feeling less than fulfilled!)
• Learn about your resources should you experience a traumatic
• Process the information and make some informed decisions and birth planning including changing from your original careprovider and birth location if necessary
This is the knowledge foundation you need before interviewing doulas. You will be prepared to know exactly what you need. Using the same process you applied to identify the careprovider right for you, you’ll be able to recognize the right doula for you. To be clear, your doula will never make decisions for you but she can be pivotal to your decision-making process as at this point you will know what real birth is and you’ll be prepared with real options. Options that she can remind you or your partner about rather than try to educate you when you’re in no mental or emotional condition to think them through with the time and effort you and your baby deserve. She can provide the physical comfort you’ve read about AND she can give you the mental and emotional support that comes from sharing her own birth experiences as well as those of women whom she has witnessed labor and birth. She can share the insight of births with unexpected outcomes, what may have contributed to them and put your decision in a educated perspective rather than being motivated by irrelevant external influences. These priceless experiences shared intuitively let your birth unfold as YOUR birth. The moment you’ve waited a lifetime for.
1 Patient Rights Program http://www.patient-rights.org/about/about.html, Health Law Department of the Boston University School of Public Health
Permission to reprint is hereby granted without further authorization as long as the text remains unedited and the author and source, Dale Bernucca for Enjoy Birth are properly cited and credited. Copyright 2007
about What Women Aren’t Told About Childbirth.
It is talking about all the information they gathered from the Listening to Mother’s Survey.
http://www.alternet.org/healthwellness/65608?page=1 Enjoy!
written by Sheridan
mom of 3 Busy Things,
Hypnobabies Instructor, Hypno-Doula
and Author
