photo credit: jdlasica

I attended 3 great births in the last few weeks. A lot of what made those births so wonderful were the nurses we were assigned to.

For sure with my VBA2C mom, her nurse was an angel in disguise.  A fellow VBAC mom who was totally supportive of Shannon’s desire to VBAC after 2 cesareans.  Just wonderful.

The next birth was at a hospital I have never been a doula at.  I was not sure what it would be like there, especially going for an induction.  We got a nurse who was wonderful and really helped protect our space. Holding the OB off for awhile when he wanted to break the water, after mom said she didn’t really want that yet.  Just lovely.

Then the last birth, really long (36 hours) so we had 3 nurses.  Our first one was GREAT. I want to clone her and will certainly ask if she is there the next time I am at the hospital.  So respectful of moms birth plan and very helpful and supportive.  The next 2 nurses were good, but I missed that first nurse, I wish she could have stayed with us the whole time.  But nurses are lucky in the sense they get to go off shift! 

I have written up thank you notes for the 3 nurses and hope to get them in the mail today.  I think nurses are the unsung heroes of birth.  Especially when they really advocate and support moms in their desires.

Here are 2 stories which exemplify the difference a great nurse can make.

Nurses Make the Call – Nicole talks about how nurses familiar with un-medicated moms, typically know when to call the OB.

At  Your Cervix – shares an experience where she advocated for a patient, letting the OB know what he was going to do to a mom wasn’t right.  She spared this mom a negative birth experience.

So Thank You to all the Nurses who support birthing moms!  I appreciate all you do.  I know the moms and dads do too.  The extra things  you do are so appreciated!

This is something we talk about in my Hypnobabies Classes.  Many careproviders give ALL their moms pitocin after birth, with the purpose of speeding up the third stage of birth.  (Delivery of the placenta)  There are certainly times when it is medically necessary (excessive bleeding) but to give it routinely to every mom is not neccessary.  I did not get it after my 3rd birth and was fine.   The OB did note I was bleeding a bit more than expected.  She did some fundal massage and that helped, so I didn’t need any pitocin.

I have had nurses tell moms “You WILL hemmorage if you don’t get this.”   The nurses honestly think that a mom NEEDS it.  If this was true, then how did the human race survive before pitocin?

Some of my students question, “Does it really matter?  The baby is born, so it won’t effect them.”  I didn’t really know what to say to that before.  So I said, “Talk with your care provider and decide what you want.”

Well, now I have found this study which links the use of pitocin in third stage to decrease in breastfeeding rates.   This article explains more studies need to be done, but it does give a good reason to question the ROUTINE use of pitocin during third stage.

Hi Everyone,

First of all, just a reminder that Kerry and Carole are speaking at the “Uniting for the Future of Birth” Mega Conference in Milwaukee in early October! http://www.futureofbirthconference.org/

Our session is called, The Transformative Language of Birth and will allow us to teach birth professionals how to alter their thinking and use positive wording which can positively affect birth outcomes. Please post and e-mail this to EVERYONE!

Since our session at the Mega Conference is all about helping birth professionals learn positive language that is extremely helpful to all pregnant and birthing moms, we would like to ask for everyone’s input! This includes moms and birth care professionals.

Please call our toll-free hotline at 800-350-2204 and complete any or all of the following:

“When I was pregnant my (caregiver) said ………to me and then I felt……..about childbirth”. (Doulas, doctors, midwives, nurses; any caregiver)

“My birth was awesome (or whatever adjective you’d like to use) because my (caregiver) said…….”

“My birth was going very well (or however you’d like to describe it) until my (caregiver said …….”

If you are a birth professional, you can complete the following:

“I attended a birth where a (medical caregiver) said……..to the birthing mom and it changed……..in her birth experience (explain what happened, positive or negative).

Please forward this to anyone who would like t be part of the process of changing birth language. Thanks so much for helping us educate birth care professionals how to become more positive and effective!

Kerry

Kerry Tuschhoff, HCHI, CHt, CI

Founder/Director of Hypnobabies Childbirth Hypnosis

714-952-BABY (2229)

www.Hypnobabies.com

Join us on Facebook, Twitter and our own YouTube Channel:

www.Facebook.com/Hypnobabies www.Twitter.com/Hypnobabies

www.YouTube.com/Hypnobabies

It was a major milestone for me when Thing 1 turned ten.  I found myself very reflective about his birth and how it effected me and him.

Thing 2 turned ten yesterday and it was just a fun celebration.  I was thinking about that and wondered why his birth wasn’t really in my thoughts at all. I took a few minutes to reflect and this is what I came up with.

His birth was “normal”

nothing scary or magical happened (other then him being born of course!)

These are some key things I remember about his birth.

• I enjoyed the beginning when Rob and I were a really good team.
• I was comfortable and enjoying my birthing time.  The nurses kept telling me that “It will really hurt when your water breaks.”
• I got “stuck” at a 7.  (“stuck” per the nurses)
• After an hour or so stuck at 7, I agreed to have my water broken.
• Things started to hurt.  (What a shock after being told that it would start hurting over and over)
• I mentally decided if I was still at a 7 the next time they checked, I wanted the epidural.
• I was still a 7 and got the epidural (after being offered and getting demerol because the anesthesiologist was busy and I had to wait for the epidural)
• After the epidural I felt very disconnected to everything.  It was like I didn’t even need to be there.  Rob and I were not a team anymore.  He was chatting with the nurse and I was just laying there.
• I really liked my nurse and felt like we really bonded.
• I pushed for almost 3 hours.
• Thing 2 was born about 1 AM and was over 9 pounds.
• I was tired and hungry.
• But I was thrilled I had my VBAC.
• In the morning I wanted to see my nurse and there was a new one, the other one never said Good Bye.
• I was sad that I would never see the other nurse again.  (A great reason to have a doula, you experience this life change with someone and then never see them again, it was another disconnect with his birth.  Maybe if I could have reflected with the nurse after it would have made things more real for me?)

I am fine with how things went.

I would like to emphasize, that I was/am actually pretty happy with how things went.   Thing 2 was healthy and all was well.  I had my VBAC.

But the experience of his birth itself remains very neutral in my mind and emotions. It was so much better then Thing 1′s birth, so I was fine with how things went. But I felt very disconnected from the process once I got the demerol and epidural.

Molly at Talk Birth had a post last week about the Flow of Childbirth and it helped me see why his birth wasn’t so memorable.

I wrote about how I felt about the differences in my 3 Things Births in Birth is a Journey:  Does it have to be life changing?

If you simplify different birth experiences I think they could fall into these 3 categories.

1. a traumatic journey
2. a normal journey
3. a magical journey

I’m not talking multiple choice exams, I am talking vaginal exams.

Vaginal exams during late pregnancy are optional.

Yes, you heard me correctly, optional.   Starting at around 36-37 weeks at every visit you will be given a gown to change into so your OB can do a vaginal exam.  What is the purpose?  To chart something!  Yes, they will tell you how dilated you are, but that has NO BEARING on when the baby will be born.

Moms can be 0 cm dilated Wed morning and have a baby in their arms Wed night!  Or you can walk around 3cm dilated for 3 weeks.

Here is a great article talking more about this routine of vaginal exams late in pregnancy.

Vaginal Exams during birth

During a hospital birth there are only 2 times you really NEED to have a vaginal exam.

1.  When getting to the hospital they would like to check you to make sure you are in active labor.  If your water has broken and they can swab to confirm this, you can even skip the vaginal exam (helps keep down the risk of infection)

2.  When you have an overwhelming urge to push, you may want to be checked to be sure you are fully dilated.

Other than that, as long as you and baby are ok, you can refuse vaginal exams.  Talk to your care provider ahead of time to make sure they are ok with this.

But honestly vaginal exams only say what your cervix is doing and your baby’s station is at THAT moment.

I was reading on Midwives Tale Blog about a nurse who did way TOO many vaginal exams on a poor mom.   If the mom had known she could have refused the exams, I am guessing that she would have had a lot less.

Alternatives to Vaginal Exams

Please head over to a great birth blog, Mamas and Babies Blog for a great post about alternatives to vaginal exams.  Did you know there were ways to determine how much progress you have made during your birth without a vaginal exam?  This post explains those alternatives.

photo credit: peruisay

I got this comment on my do doulas benefit dads post.

I am one of those nurses that just jumps in and I feel sometimes leaves dad out:(  I don’t think about it until after.  I would love some advice from more experienced doula’s on how to incorporate the dad in their work.

I know as a doula, I talk about what role they want me to fill during a prenatal appointment.  A few dads really do want to be in more of an observer roll.  Most want to be right in the thick of things and want me there more to give them ideas of what to do.

Most nurses don’t know the parents before they come in for their birth, but you can certainly ask them what role dad wants to play.

As a nurse if you see something (non-medical) that needs to be done, you can tell Dad and ask if he wants to do it.

For example, if you think that mom would benefit from some counter-pressure on her back, you can demonstrate to Dad how to do it and ask if he wants to.

Most Dads really want to help and just need some pointers.   As a nurse you have great ideas on how to support moms and just sharing them with Dad can help make him the hero instead of you.  (Of course the mom is the REAL hero.)

One thing that I suggest to my doula clients facing induction is to ask their care providers if they can turn up the pitocin SLOWLY.  Even turn it down once pressure waves have started.

I know that this is possible.  Here is a great post from Birth Sense about a hospital based midwife who does just this.  I have seen it done for some of my doula clients.  It is a nice way to make an induction more gentle and enjoyable for mom and baby!

Not all care providers are open to this idea.  Why not?  If mom and baby are doing well, why not go slowly?

Anyone care to comment?  I really want to understand.

A Labor and Delivery nurse posted about a recent experience when a mom requested this.  The midwife told the nurse to not tell the parents when she was turning it up.    I am so happy that this nurse didn’t do that, but how many do?   Her post made me so sad and mad at the same time.

Why won’t they do it slowly?

It lets me know how important it is to talk to care providers EARLY about their induction routines.  If they are not open to upping it slowly, then that probably says a lot about their induction attitudes, and their reluctance to move outside of their routines.

I have posted a list of typical questions asked upon admittance for birth on the Hypnobabies Blog.  I was hoping you could check them out and see if we missed any.

Thanks!

In honor of my Lactation Education training weekend, here is a lovely breastfeeding story.

The Princess and the Chick Pea

Here is the deal, some nurses are AWESOME, they know tons about breastfeeding, have great tips and can offer wonderful support.

Some nurses, don’t know much at all.  Breastfeeding maybe scares them a little, because they can’t see how much the baby is getting.

Ideally moms will educate themselves about breastfeeding before they have their baby.  They will know about the size of their baby’s belly.

Even if they are educated sometimes nurses scare moms into giving a bottle, when it really isn’t necessary.  Mom can express milk and finger feed it to the baby.  Mom may just need some latch help.  Ask to see the lactation consultant if you are having problems in the hospital.  Don’t rely on the nurses advice to be accurate.

I had a student who told me about her birth, she said it went great, but the nurse she had after was trying to tell her to give the baby a bottle.  She finally asked for a new nurse who was more supportive of breastfeeding.  She got one and she is so glad she asked for a new nurse.  ASK for a new nurse if you are not getting along with the one you have!

2 Amazing breastfeeding facts:

There are holes along the digestive tract of every newborn baby.  This allows the antibodies from the colostrum to easily enter the baby.  With 2 weeks of exclusive breastfeeding, these holes close up on their own.  If a baby doesn’t get breastmilk in these first 2 weeks the holes NEVER close.  This can lead to gut issues later in life.  The first 2 weeks of life are a critical period.  Even if you only breastfeed for 2 weeks, it is important and SO helpful for your baby!

1 ounce of formula will damage the babies gut and it takes 2-4 weeks of exclusive nursing for the gut to heal itself after 1 ounce of formula.

I had a nurse tell one of my Hypnobabies students this, during a hospital tour.

You can bring a birth ball, but you may not want to sit on one during your birth it can cause your cervice to swell.

Really?  What is she basing this judgement on?  A birth where a mom had a swollen cervix and she had been sitting on a birth ball?

I have never heard of this before.  Have any of you?  I told the mom it was likely just an experience the nurse had and was a one time thing.  That she should sit on her birth ball if it felt good to her.

On another note, my big boys were visiting their grandparents this summer and helping them plan a family fun day.  My oldest said, “We should get a birth ball and roll it down the hill.”  My mom wasn’t sure what a birth ball was, he explained and she realized it was an exercise ball.

My boys are very well oriented to birthing terms.   They will make great birth partners one day.