It is amazing to me that women are not free to choose how they birth. 

Many women are told they MUST have a cesarean, because their care providers or hospitals refuse to allow them to have a vaginal birth.  Seems absurd that women are not allowed the choice.

Here is an article about how women in Iowa must travel great distances to have a vaginal birth if they are VBAC moms.   

Another group of women who are often forced into a cesarean are breech moms and twin moms.  Most moms take what their care providers say as absolute truth and do not research to find out if their are other options.  If they do research and realize they would prefer to have a vaginal birth, it is often difficult if not impossible to find a careprovider who will support them.

My Hypnobabies VBAC success story

I had been having contractions almost every night while working at
the computer, but any time I laid down they would stop. On Friday,
Nov 16, it was the same thing, contractions every 5 minutes but if I
laid on the couch they would stop. So finally at 11pm I just went to
bed. I got all ready and in bed and after about 10 minutes I had a
nice contraction. I waited and it happened again. I was not very
comfortable in bed so I went and sat in the rocking chair and
listened to my 1st stage birthing scripts. When they kept coming
pretty frequently I finally woke up Dan and asked him if he thought
we should call Jen to come over to watch the girls.

We decided I should at least call her to give her a heads up. This was around
12:30am. I called Jen and was talking to her and she decided she
should come over. I was so excited that this might be the real
thing!!! She got to my house around 1:10am and we started timing my
contractions. They were less than 3 minutes apart, but this being my
first vaginal birth we figured we had time. So we made brownies for
the nurses, called my mom and sisters and finally around 2am, I woke
up Dan to get ready to go to the hospital. We were getting ready to
leave and of course the twins decided to wake up. So I tried to get
them back to bed. I was up there rocking them for about 20-30
minutes and had quite a few contractions:) I think they knew
something was up and they wouldn’t go back to sleep so they got to
come downstairs and watched a show with Aunt Jen. The contractions
were not bad at all and I just relaxed through them.

We got to the hospital around 3:30am and they checked me and I was 2cm dilated.
They hooked me up to the fetal monitor to check his heartbeat and
then I walked around. They checked me again at 4:30am and I was 3 cm
dilated. They pretty much left me alone after that. I walked, took
a nice hot shower and sat on the birthing ball. Dan was great
through it all and there for me. I still was feeling great and
breathing through each contraction.

The midwife came in at 7:30am and said that they were probably sending me home. She said it is
better to go through the early labor at home but wanted to check me
first. My contractions were still about 3 minutes apart at this
time. She was very surprised to see that I was at 7cm:) She said I
looked so relaxed and calm. Things slowed down after that but I
still was feeling great. The contractions were getting a little more
intense but nothing unmanageable. I would want Dan to be next to me
for each one and he would help with the relax cues and his hand on my
shoulder. In between he would tried to lay down and rest but as soon
as he laid down another one would come and he would have to jump
right back up:)

I also remember that I made sure to keep my whole
body relaxed during the contractions. I would face my hands palms up
and make sure my shoulders were relaxed. I continued to walk, took
another hot shower and sat on the birthing ball. I also leaned on
Dan and just went limp a few times. Through this all Dan was great
at keeping the nurses away from me during each contraction and being
there for me to use the cues and help me relax through each
contraction. He was also sending text messages to family to keep
them updated. He did this instead of calling so I would not be
distracted. The nurses and midwife kept commenting on how calm the
room was.

I was finally fully dilated at 1:30pm. I started using
the exhale breathing and was in a squatting position. This felt good
but after a while my knees started to really hurt:) They needed to
check his heartbeat so they asked me to turn around. This position
actually felt a little better. After about an hour they told me that
since it was my first vaginal birth I would probably not be able to
use the exhale pushing to get him under the pelvic bone and my bag of
water just would not break. We were trying lots of positions. So I
had to use the “blue face” pushing but I still listened to my
Hypnobabies pushing cd and was able to keep my body relaxed while
doing this.

Since my bag of water would not break, it was keeping
his head from really engaging. So I got up for a little bit and
tried to use the bathroom. Once I got back into bed I had about 3
more contractions and my bag finally broke. The midwife knew I did
not want any intervention but I think next time I might tell them to
break my water while pushing:) This was around 3:30pm. I had a few
more contractions and finally got his head under the pelvic bone. I
felt his head coming down and out and it was such a great feeling.
He was born at 4:06pm and the whole birth was amazing. It was such a
wonderful feeling to feel him come out. They put him right on my
chest and waited for the cord to stop pulsating before Dan cut it!!
He weighed 9lbs 2 ozs and was 21 inches long. His head was 38cm:):)
It was my perfect vbac Hypnobabies birth:)

Thanks to Hypnobabies, my wonderful husband, Dan, and my wonderful
Hypnobabies coach, my sister Jen:):)

Diana

I have had 2 moms who were going to have their babies at any time for the past few weeks.   They also happen to be good friends, so I really wanted to make sure I made it to both births!

Birth 1 - hospital birth

S. was having her 4th baby.  She had never gone past 37 weeks and on Tuesday the 18th she was going to be 39 weeks… so she was READY to have this baby.  Monday night she called and said she was having some intense PW (pressure waves), I was teaching my Hypnobabies class, so said I would call her after we were done.  I did and they had slowed down, so she was going to bed.

The next morning, she called and said they were still there, but less intense.  I got care lined up for my boys, which basically included 3 different people caring for them until 9:30 PM because DH had scouts that night.  (He is Scout Master) I went to Carson’s play at school and then talked to S, she had gone to the hospital and was 3cm, still having PW every 5-7 minutes, so was staying.  I headed out to her hospital, which was almost 2 hours away with all the traffic. 

I got there and then her DH got there not long after around 4:30.  I must say that this was a fun atmosphere for a birth.  S’s DH is just a funny guy and S is tons of fun, so it was like a party.    We walked the halls for awhile.  S listened to a script relaxing in bed… then I think we walked a little bit more.  S ate some cheerio mix snack.  The nurse was so funny because later when she was helping S get in bed she said, “Ahh, a tell tale cheerio in your robe… BUSTED!”  But then said nothing else.  Completely different than the other nurse from a different birth who verbally attacked a mom about drinking. 

6:30 she was still 3cm and chose to have her OB break her water. 

7:30 we watched Wheel of Fortune, which is apparantly a tradition, she had watched it during 2 of her other births.  Then we also watched American Idol.  S wanted the distraction.  When it was done she listend to another script and we all rested.  She was starting to have longer and stronger PW but they were spacing out to about 7 min apart. 

I have to interupt and say that the nurses were GREAT, they were supportive of everything S wanted.  Her OB was too, he was not trying to push pitocin or anything. 

11:30, S gets checked and she is 4cm, 80% effaced and 0 station. 

Midnight – OB comes in.  Still every 7 min.  S asks, “What do you want to see here?”  The OB said, “A baby to come out.”  He said, “Baby looks great, how are you doing?”  S. was good, tired and wanted to rest.  He said, “Whatever you want.”

A little later the nurse came in and asked S if she was open to any augmentation.  S said, “You mean, pitocin?”  The nurse said yes.  She explained she could just do a little and not up it, just to try and get them a bit closer together.  She said, that S. could take some time to think about it and just to let her know. 

Minutes later after talking together about pros and cons, S said, “Let’s do it!”  So at 12:25 pitocin was started at the lowest setting and by 12:45 the PW were more like 4-5 min apart.  S started feeling the baby starting to move down more.  She listened to a script in bed and was doing really well relaxing. 

1:20 the nurse asks if she can check S.  S. agreed and she was 8cm. 

1:40 the nurse turns off the pitocin, so S can have more of a break.  At this point S was starting to lose some of her focus.  She just wasn’t getting much of a break (the PW were lasting over a minute and only a minute break between them)  after the pitocin was turned off they spaced out again to 4 or 5 minute breaks. 

1:50 S hustles to the bathroom to pee.  She asks if there is anything to help take the edge off.  The nurse explains she might be too close to pushing. 

So at 2:00 S is checked again and is 9.5, just a little lip left.  No time for any medication and S is just ready to be done, time to push!  The nurse goes to get the OB.  DH is so great at encouraging S.  She is doing it! 

2:10 the OB is ready and S pushes for 1 or 2 PW, completely mother directed.  No one telling her how long to push.  Little C is born at 2:16!  She did it!  Horray.  He is so cute and has curly dark hair.   He was 7 pounds 14 ounces, her biggest baby and no tears!    DH did not want cut the cord, so I got to!  This was my first time. 

I left not long after, because I knew I would be on mommy duty in the AM and it would be a long ride home, I wanted the adreniline rush to help keep me awake.  S is a pro at breastfeeding, so they were fine with me leaving.  With no traffic I was home and in bed by 3:30. 

My thoughts… I think had she not had the pitocin she would have had a more relaxed time for the last hour.  But she was ready to have the baby and was already tired.  I don’t know if waiting a few more hours with no sleep would have been the best choice for S.    I talked to her today and she was happy with how things had gone.  That last hour was really intense and she said she didn’t really feel any pain, it was just so strong and she wasn’t getting any breaks!  So she agrees without the pitocin it would have been a smoother ride.  But she was fine with how it all turned out, which I am glad for!

I also think that really it was meant to be that her baby was born by 2:15 so I was home in bed by 3:30.  You will now see why. 

Birth 2: HBAC (home birth after cesarean) 

The phone rings at 4:30. 

Yes, 1 hour after I had fallen into bed.

It is Alison, she says she is having PW every 5 minutes for an hour.  I think my first words out of my mouth were, “How exciting!”  But honestly for about 20 seconds I am thinking… who, what, huh?  But then my brain starts to wake up and I ask if she has listened to any CDs yet.  She had not, so I explained I had just gotten home and asked if I could sleep a bit more and she could call with an update after her CD.  She said, OK. 

I got back in bed and found it hard to sleep.  I wanted to go be with her, but thought if this is another long birth (her first was 24 hours and ended in a cesarean) I am going to need more than 1 hour of sleep to help her through it.  I thought if I can just sleep until 7:30 (4 hours) then I can shower and get there around 8 and can do it. 

I still couldn’t relax or stop thinking, so I thought even if I get 1 more hour of sleep and she calls and needs me, I should be fine! 

I still couldn’t sleep so I said a little prayer along the lines of, “Help Alison and let me be able to get some sleep so I can go and help her in a little while.”  I then got a very strong impression that I needed to get up NOW and go or I would not see her baby be born.  I also felt that she needed me NOW.  I think I lay there for a few more seconds and thought, what if she is listening to a script and I call back and interupt her?  But again, “go NOW” 

So I got up and got dressed and called her to say, “I feel like I should come now.”  She said something like, “Oh good.”   While driving I prayed, “Please let Michelle (midwife) get there with plenty of time to catch this baby.  If she doesn’t get there in time, help me to be calm and that things will work out just fine.” 

I pulled up and the door was a little open, so I walked right in.  DH was upstairs and waved me up.  I go into the office and Alison was on all fours on chux pads and her water had literally just broken.  I sat down next to her and we had a little chat about what was happening.   Her first PW was around 3:18 and then had another 13 min later then they were suddenly 5 minutes apart and REALLY strong.  She had thought the baby was coming when her water broke.  So she was a little on edge.  She had a nice long break before another PW started (probably 10 min or so) I was thinking, “Is this the rest and be thankful stage?”  (Sometimes there is a break between transformation/transition and pushing.  Where PW space out and mom can gather strength to push baby out.) 

DH was on the phone with the midwives and they told him to read the Emergency Childbirth handout.  He told them I was there and they said they would call right back.  He read the sheet and looked at me and said, “Do you know this stuff?”  I took the sheet and read it and said, “Yes, we will be fine.”  I felt totally calm.  I loved that at the top of the sheet was a scripture and something along the lines of everything will be ok. 

Alison’s PW started again and they were 5 min apart lasting about a minute.  We got her iPod plugged into some speakers, but I couldn’t find the easy first stage script and I didn’t want to leave her.  So I put the birthing affirmations on.  Alison was relaxing great between and during the PW.  I got the birth ball so she could be on all fours, but rest her upper body.  I got clean chux pads down so she wasn’t kneeling in a wet puddle.  I got a towel to cover her, because she was cold.  Then we just chatted between waves and relaxed through them, I would talk her through each one.  Sometimes she would sound just a bit pushy and I just listened and said you are doing great.

The midwives called back to get an update, they wanted to know if the bed was ready.  I said I would check and then the phone went dead.  I didn’t think much of it, I figured they would call back soon.  But apparantly Alison’s phone had gone out and they tried to call back but couldn’t get through.  They just prayed all would be well.   

At some point I had her lie on her side because she was tired of all fours.  She found it hard to be comfy on her side… not open enough.  Though I honestly didn’t want her TOO open until the midwives got there.  She was also on the floor of the office as the bed was not ready and she didn’t want to move anyway. 

They arrived around 6.  There was some confusion because the plastic tarp for the bed was missing and there were limited chux pads.  Alison and I hung out in the office while they helped get things together.  They were coming in and checking out the baby and Alison between organizing things.  She was getting more vocal with her PW, sort of moaning through them… nice low sounds.  She wanted to get checked and Michelle suggested waiting because of the risk of infection with her water broken.  So probably around 6:45 when Alison asked again, Michelle did check her.  She was 8 and stretchy with just an anterior lip.  So part of her cervix was complete, there was just a bit left on one side.  So Michelle said if she felt an urge to push she could just follow that urge. 

Alison continued to vocalize through her PW and started making some little pushy noises during them.  We encouraged her and said she sounded great! 

About 7:15 we helped Alison move to the toilet, where she started really pushing.  Then we helped her move to the birth stool and Michelle checked and she was complete.  She showed Alison how far the baby needed to move down to come out.  Alison soon moved to the bed for some side lying pushing, she then switched back to all fours.   Alison was encouraging the baby to come out. 

Suddenly after a few pushes in that position the baby was crowning.  It was so cool!  DH at this point was laying next to Alison and I was in a place where I could see the baby coming out!  The head was out and Alison paused a bit, it was so calm and peaceful in the room.  No yelling for her to push, just gentle encouragement to follow her body.  She soon pushed out the whole body.  “I did it!” Alison shouted. 

They put the baby on her back to rub dry baby off.  Alison asked what is it!  Dad checked and with confirmation from Michelle (he was in an awkward position to see) announced it was a girl!  Alison was so shocked, everyone was sure it would be a boy.  She got turned over and held her baby.  She announced her name was Penelope Jane.  Alison was exhausted but thrilled. 

They left the cord alone until after the placenta was out.  DH didn’t want to cut the cord, so I got to cut my second cord about 6 hours after I cut my first cord.  How crazy is that???!!!!  I then got to watch Carly (midwife’s assitant) examine the placenta.  It was pretty cool! 

So Penelope was born at 8:06 AM.  If I had not listened to that impression, I probably would have missed the birth.  I am SO glad that I prayed and followed that impression that I needed to go NOW.  I feel like I probably was more needed during 5 to 6 am than I had ever been needed another birth.  It allowed Dan to get things ready while I supported Alison. 

It was my first homebirth and it was wonderful.  I felt a calm and peace I had never felt before at a birth.  Even when it was Alison and I alone in the office and me thinking, I might get to catch this baby.   It was just so right.  I think that it shows that intuition is really important during birth… not just the moms intuition, but also her support people too. 

I am SO glad that I prayed and that I followed that prompting to leave right then.  I am SO glad that the timing worked out that I was able to attend both of these births.  While I was hoping for a good nights sleep between them, it didn’t really matter.  God worked it all out as He always does! 

You can read Alison’s version of her birth story here. 

Why, why, why must you try to scare moms?  Why can’t you just say “It’s hospital policy”, or give them pros and cons rationally, then let the mom decide.  Why lie to them?  Why bully them?  Why treat them like they are a stupid child? It really is starting to make me MAD! 

I am a birth doula, I have the honor of helping families during the birth of their baby.  In each birth I see different things.  I also have seen a few different types of births in a few different hospitals.  (I have my first homebirth coming up in March).  I have enjoyed many nurses and care providers and been shocked by others.

The problem with a hospital birth is you have little control over who you are going to get when you go into a hospital.  Having a doula does help… but there is a limit to what we can do, we can do clean up and encourage moms after a negative experience… but as a doula, I can’t ask for a different nurse or care provider, that is up to the parents.    

It is amazing how much of an impact the nurses and other care providers can have on a birth.    I saw this at the last birth I attended.  This mom was subjected to quite a few different scare tactics/tirades to try and get her to bend to the will of the hospital/nurse.  The OB was actually ok with some of the things C. wanted, but the nurse wasn’t.  So she made it difficult.  I mentioned a few times to C. and her husband they could ask for a new nurse, but they chose not to. 

This nurse was efficient and had some good ideas for positioning with pillows.  (Mom had an epidural and I am used to helping moms without epidurals)  So I learned some good ideas from her and she did get a bit nicer after C. complained to the OB about her. 

Here is what happened… night shift was great, very supportive of C and her needs.  Morning shift came on and everything changed!

When the nurse originally came in after shift change, I made a comment about going to get C. something new to drink.  The nurse FREAKED OUT!  She wasn’t calm and nice saying, “that is against hospital policy”, she was in C.’s face saying, “You are a high risk mom as a VBAC, your uterus could rupture at any time and you would need an emergency cesarean.  If you eat you could aspirate your vomit…” and on and on… leaning over C. lecturing her.  She must have said emergency cesarean at least 3 times in 3 minutes. 

I didn’t help, because I made a comment about the studies say it is safe.  Well, that was the wrong thing to say. The nurse said we should ask our OB.   Which we did and the OB said it was fine to drink water.  So there!  Not to mention of course it is safe to eat and drink during your birthing time.  Study after study have shown that it is safe.  The nurse brought me the form I needed to sign as the doula saying I wouldn’t interfere with the staff or I would be asked to leave. 

C. had explained about the pains in her legs breaking through the epidural.  The nurse said she would send the anesthesiologist in.  Well, he was the biggest pompus donkey’s bum.  He called himself the candy man.   He was condescending and outright rude to C.  He started off ok, talking about the epidural asking questions and saying that we might need to replace it if the next bolus didn’t help.  That she was no longer having a natural birth, so she might as well do whatever they say.  Then he started lecturing C. about how she needed to listen to the nurses and do what they told her.  How she should have gotten the pitocin last night and she needs to be a good girl.  Then went on to explain how she can’t eat or drink because she might need a cesarean and might need general anesthesia and would need to be intubate and if she vomited she might aspirate.  I SO wanted to say, “So you are an incompetent anesthesiologist, because that is pretty rare if things are done correctly.”   BUT I didn’t. 

After he leaves C. says, “I do not like this day shift!  I am going to talk to Dr. H. about this.”   I again said, “We can ask for a new nurse!”  Dr. H. comes in around 8 and C. explains what happened.  Dr. H. says that shouldn’t have happened.  She said it was ok to drink some water.  Then goes on to say, “well, you are doing ok, but this is a big baby, that is my only worry that you might not be able to push this baby out.  This could be a 8 pound baby.”  C. and I look at each other speechless… hello!  Wasn’t C. just explaining how we didn’t want the negativity.  C. says, “I am NOT worried about the size of this baby or pushing it out.”  Dr. leaves and C. says, “I don’t believe that big baby bull**** I can push any size baby out.”  I told her what a great VBAC patient she is not believeing or accepthing any of the fear they are trying to push on her. She really was AWESOME.  WE kept saying “Bubble of Peace”  I loved that she didn’t let any of this crazy attitudes and negativity around her get her down. 

The nurse she had the attitude “It’s all about the baby”  Basically mom didn’t matter in her eyes.  A few times C. said, “Can you wait to do that until after my pressure wave?”  “No, I need to make sure your baby is safe, that is more important!”  How is C. supposed to respond to that?  “No I’m more important than my baby!”

Well, yes in many ways she is.  She is at least AS important as her baby.   Baby wasn’t showing any signs of distress, she had just fallen off the monitor. Baby was always doing great.  So the nurse could have waited for 40 seconds!  I had already had an altercation with the nurse earlier in the birth and was a bit worried she might try to kick me out. So I just encouraged C. verbally through these few time when the nurse told C. she didn’t matter throughout the end of her birth.  (She didn’t want to be touched at all during pressure waves and that should be respected above all else.  I guess I could understand if the baby was showing signs of distress, but again, baby was fine.)

The anesthesiologist came back in when C. needed another bolus.  He proceded to tell her how it would hurt while she was pushing, that if she didn’t push well, they would have to turn the epidural down so it would hurt more.  C. just stared at him.  He then said, “Are you listening to me!?”  She nods yes.  After he left we asked that he not be allowed in the room anymore. 

  At 1:20 C. was feeling a LOT of pressure and after breathing through it for awhile, asked to get checked.  She was 10 cm still 0 station, so they didn’t want her to actively push yet… labor down.  So for an hour, C. struggled to breathe through her desire to push.  I said it was ok to push if it felt better, so she did push sometimes, but tried not to. 

Then 2:20 the nurse decides it is time for a practice push.  C. did great and nurse sets up the stirrups.  She gets her up and then C. does 1 push and the baby starts crowning.  Then the nurse has her wait there while she finishes setting up the room and calls for the OB.  I was trying to help C. just pant through it telling her she was doing great, because there wasn’t anyone even standing there in case the baby came out.  I so wanted to go and catch that baby.  She just NEEDED to push!  Finally the OB gets there, puts on her booties and then C. is saying I need to push the baby out, I don’t care who catches.

Then they have her purple push 4 times in one pressure wave and the baby is out.  I don’t understand this…. WAIT for 20 minutes while the OB gets here, but then when the OB is here, you have 1 minute to get the baby out.  PUSH PISH PUSH… come on you can do one more push.  I had to remind her to breathe, they didn’t even give her a chance to breathe. 

Then the baby is on her.  The baby nurses are hovering like vultures.  C. says I want to keep her for awhile.  They leave her alone for maybe 5 minutes and then they come back… we just need her for a few minutes she’ll be right back….  Swoop and she is off.  C. then has to just lay there while she is stitched up alone on the bed.  I talk to her and help her focus on something else, but if she had her baby in her arms that would have helped more. 

The baby was 9 pounds 6 ounces.  19.5 inches.  What an awesome job C. did proving that she COULD push out any size baby!  Baby latched right on and nursed like a champ when she got in her moms arms. 

What I love about C. was that she didn’t believe a word they said.  IT just made her stronger and more determined to get her VBAC and she did!  She ROCKED!  It sucked that the end was her waiting in such an uncomfortable position for so long.  I wish I could have gone and caught that baby for her. 

Things did go well overall, but C. would have had a much better experience if her care providers trusted birth and were KIND and respectful to her.      

This is an interesting article from the Australian birth community.  It discusses how the cesarean rate is too high and the problems that is causing for women and for the medical world there.  I hope America figures this out sooner than later!

If you are a mom trying to GIP (gestate in peace) you don’t need to read it.  But if you are someone interested in cesareans and VBACs, then it is a great read!

ICAN is a great resource for cesarean and VBAC support!

Devon turns 10 today.

January 2, 1998

The scariest day of my life…. and the happiest day of my life.  A day that changed my life forever. 

I became a mother that day, but in reality I became a mother months before when I conceived my first baby, Devon.  I guess I really became a mother when we conciously started trying to conceive him.  

I became a mother when I first felt him move within my womb.  How I loved feeling his little movements, getting to know him as he grew within me.  I knew he was a boy before an ultrasound confirmed it.  

I became a mother when I had preterm labor and was on strict bed rest starting at 25 weeks. 

I became a mother when I had to fight for what I felt was right and important when my first OB wasn’t listening to my concerns I went through the challenge of changing care providers.  Why that has to be so hard remains a mystery, yet was worth every effort it took.

I became a mother when I made numerous trips to the hospital, received many shots, took many pills…. to keep him inside me as long as possible.

I became a mother when I woke up one morning at 34 weeks and noticed he wasn’t moving.  I was very aware of him, because on bed rest what else did I have to do, but think about and notice him. 

I became a mother when I suddenly in my deepest part of my heart, KNEW something was wrong with my baby.  I became a mother when I thought I had already lost this sweet baby I hadn’t even yet met. 

I became a mother when I went to get checked, they found his heartbeat and I was flooded with relief.  My baby was still alive.  All was well.

I became a mother when I learned all was not well, my baby was under stress and needed to be born right away. 

I became a mother when I willingly offered up my body to be cut into so his life could be saved.   

I became a mother when minutes later Devon was lifted from my womb. 

I became a mother when I heard his small cry, at first I thought there was a cat in the operating room, he sounded like a kitten. 

I became a mother when I held him for a minute before he went to the NICU with his Dad.

I became a mother when I missed him and felt SO empty without him in me as I was separated from him for almost 24 hours.  Precious time when he was in a plastic box and I was alone in a room without my baby.  The emptiness was unbearable.

I became a mother when I painfully made my way down to the NICU, scrubbed my hands, put on a gown and finally held him in my arms, gazing in his eyes and seeing my sweet son.

I first felt like a mother, when my friends came to visit.  In the room without him I felt as I always had.  But when I went to the NICU, held him in my arms and my friends saw me and him through the window… then I FELT like a mother.  The joy of sharing the miracle we had created.

I became a mother when I had to leave the hospital empty handed, to return many times to visit, while I was still healing.

I became a mother when I nursed him for the first time 10 days after his birth.  A moment I will never forget.

I became a mother when I finally brought him home, he rarely left my arms for months.  Sleeping on top of me each night, nursing every 2 hours, growing right before my eyes. 

I have had SO many experiences that continue to help me become a mother.  I thank Devon for being my first born.  I thank him for laying so still so I would know there was a problem.   Also I thank him for being born the way he was.  It was not what I had hoped for or was working towards (I wanted a Natural Bradley Birth) but it started me on a path of learning more about birth and has led me to where I am today. 

I believe that most pregnancies and births are normal and safe!  I am so glad I was able to go on to have 2 healing pregnancies and vaginal births.  I believe that we need to trust our bodies and babies.  If we listen to them we can know what we most need.  I am so glad I listened that morning when he wasn’t moving, that I followed my intuition and went to get checked.  

Mothers’ intuitions are powerful.   We must use them to Enjoy our Births!

To learn more about cesareans, whether to avoid one, to heal from one, get support… whatever you need.  Visit ICAN, International Cesarean Awareness Network. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roFVkDV45MM]

Cesarean rates are at an all time high and no one in the medical community or women’s groups seem to care. 

But there are women who DO care!  I am one of them.  In the next weeks I will be posting some articles I have been working on regarding worries and fears and how these can effect their births.  The thing is MANY women are being scared into unnecessary cesareans.    This then leads to an increase in risks to mothers and their babies. 

I think that education of parents is key to helping to decrease the cesarean rates.  The medical community doesn’t seem to want to rectify the situation, so parents need to make wiser choices in their care providers and in their birthing education to get the healthiest births possible. 

I am grateful for:

• My husband who supports me as I live a life with this passion for birth.  He didn’t mind that I was gone for 57 hours out of 62 consecutive hours 3 days last month, as a doula for 2 long induction births.  He listens to me talk about birth things all the time. 
• Devon – my son who said, “I thought you worked part time” when he saw me after my 2 long births. 
• Carson – my first VBAC baby.  Such a sweet kid.
• Bryson – his birth inspired me to become a doula and a Hypnobabies Instructor.  Who knew birth could be so enjoyable?  It can!
• My friends – who help watch my kids while I am at births. 
• Hypnobabies - I love being able to teach such a wonderful, complete childbirth education program to moms. 
• I love all my students too!
• The Hypnobabies Home Study program – I love that there is a complete home study program available for moms across the world, who don’t have instructors nearby. 
• All the moms on the Hypnobabies Yahoo Group who inpsire each other and me as they work towards having the most positive enjoyable births possible.
• Independent Childbirth Educators Group, I have long looked for women who shared the same passion for educating women about birth.  I have found them here!
• ICAN - International Cesarean Awareness Network – This is a wonderful group for moms in helping them with cesarean information… whether it be to avoid a primary cesarean, help them find support in their quest for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), and support for mom’s who need cesareans for medical reasons. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend!

Birth by Tina Cassidy

Who is the intended audience of this book?  Care providers of pregnant women… if they actually take time to read it, the may learn something.  Women of childbearing age or younger or anyone in their families…. DO NOT read this book

It is scary to read and starting with the first chapter, that alone will make you question mankind’s ability to still exist because of all the horrible things that can go wrong during birth.  Most of these stories are from women who lived long ago and had Rickets, which caused bone softening and pelvic deformation.  Luckily if you are reading this you most likely live in a society where Rickets no longer exists.  But the fear and scariness doesn’t stop there.

As a Childbirth Educator and doula, I found it an interesting though disturbing read.  It was one of those books where you are yelling at it at times.  Partly because of the stupidity of what has gone on throughout the history of birth.  But also party because I felt like it was SO negative.  I just would NEVER let a pregnant women read it, she might go sign up for an Elective Cesarean, because the overall tone of the book is birth is scary… complete with horrific stories (mostly due to Rickets which no longer exists in America) to demonstrate it. 

I did enjoy the section on the Dawn of Doctors, where I learned more about some inspired care providers and their journeys.  Grantly Dick-Read who wrote Childbirth Without Fear and Fernand Lamaze were of extra interest to me as a Hypnobabies Instructor, because I learned that their teachings included a lot of mind over body thinking, as well as the importance of hospital staff supporting and believing in the moms ability to have a comfortable birth.  Having been a mom using hypnosis during my 2^nd birth, totally comfortable and the nurses telling me at least 3 times, as soon as your water breaks it is going to hurt… not surprisingly when my water broke it did start to hurt.  When I had my 3^rd baby, I used Hypnobabies and had a Bubble of Peace to protect me from the negativity of those around me, including the hospital staff. 

I learned about Emanuel Friedman who watched birthing women and came up with the bell curve of the length of typical stages of birth.  He is horrified on how that information is used today.  “We found an average.  People think the average is what women should fall upon.  That is clearly not true but rather a broad range of normality beyond which a potential abnormality may or may not exist.  These abnormalities are not in themselves justification for forceps or cesarean…  It doesn’t’ mean she’s doing so badly that you have to do something terrible to her. That is being abused.” 

So this one chapter I found to be very informative and enjoyable to read. 

The tools and fads chapter was an interesting look at the different ways people dealt with and currently deal with Childbirth.  It was disappointing to me how in a chapter that could have had positive parts to it… ie waterbirth, hypnosis etc, there was still an over all fear feeling to it.  In the waterbirth section the main focus seemed to be on why it is fought against by many care providers, with of course stories of babies dying included.

Please if you are pregnant or ever will be do NOT read this book, it is too negative, with the exception of the Dawn of Doctors chapter, there was nothing positive I will take from this book. 

I especially disliked the last 2 pages.  The author looks back even after all she has learned she wouldn’t change anything about her birth… sort of defeatist attitude.  (She had a very medically managed birth ending up in a cesarean,) but does concede maybe she should have chosen a midwife and had a doula. 

“Women will forever give birth in many different ways – either by design or through forces out of our control.  As for the latter, we can only hope to be pleasantly surprised.” 

Really, I guess one might believe this after reading the book.  But knowing what I know as a childbirth educator and VBAC mom, the choices we make starting with our care provider down to positions we choose during birth can make a HUGE impact on our birth. 

If you want to be empowered by books about birth, I suggest reading the following instead of this one.

The Thinking Women’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

If you want a history about childbirth in the USA but would like to feel empowered by the knowledge rather than defeated try,

Born in the USA by Mardsen Wagner