After I had T1 and T2, both Rob and I FELT that there was another baby WAITING to come to our family.  We knew it even when T2 was very small. There was never a doubt we would have another one.

T3 waited pretty patiently.

I felt him hovering about and knew he was there, but I felt no urgency.  It wasn’t until Jan of 2005 in Relief Society watching the pregnant chorister when I felt like “NOW, I am ready NOW!”  (I don’t know if that feeling was from him or me!)

We had been casual with birth control for a few months, but I was now ready to TRY.  I may have actually been pregnant when I got that feeling as he was born in October and I can’t remember what week of January that happened.

I haven’t had that feeling since T3 was born

I don’t feel a baby waiting and neither does Rob. We never have.  Once T3 was born there was no more baby hovering around.  I keep thinking maybe we will feel that.  But with prayer and fasting and wanting, that feeling still isn’t there.

I guess that means we are done.

• Is it really that simple???
• What if that makes me feel sad?

I am still pretty open to whatever happens, but since coming to this simple “answer”,   I have let go of the drama surrounding the question of “Are we done?” 

If we are meant to have another baby, T4 will appear.  If he doesn’t then I guess we are not meant to have 4 things.

I am at peace either way.  (Well, honestly if I got pregnant it would probably freak me out to some extent, but I think I would quickly come to peace with it and be very excited.)