Here are the ones that I could say, YES I do this.
if you blog about birth (more than just your own birth for historical purposes) or if your birth story is at least two pages long Both of these are true for me!
if you can say “vagina” in a sentence without blushing OF COURSE!
if when you’re discussing something related to birth, you receive those polite but puzzled looks… right before your conversation partner moves away YES
if you have birth-related artwork somewhere in your house (includes placenta pictures and belly casts, etc.) Belly Cast in my Closet
if you currently have or ever did have a placenta in your freezer No, but I have a bag of breastmilk, that I will probably never let thaw.
if you have ever consumed placenta No, but if I have another, I will encapsulate mine.
if you have a model of a pelvis, uterus, or some other female organ I got a Pelvis Model for my 36th Birthday.
if you always keep honey sticks on hand In my doula bag at all times!
if you’ve ever gone to the bookstore and hidden “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” (or some other similar non birth-junkie book) and replaced it with some pro natural-birth book Yes, and left my cards in some books too!
if other women get tired of telling you their birth stories before you get tired of hearing them YES!
if you have a library (or would love to acquire one) of birth-related books and videos Of course, I love having a valid excuse to buy birth books.
if you have 10 or more birth-related videos saved to your account on YouTube YES
if you appear on any YouTube (any internet) video talking about birth, in labor, or giving birth (picture montages count) YES
if at least half of the blogs you regularly read are birth-related There are other kinds?
if someone tells you she “had to have” a particular intervention and you can come up with several alternatives that were never mentioned to her (bonus points if she doesn’t get mad or defensive) Yes
if you refuse to play the “my birth was worse than your birth” game YES, but I do like to say, your next birth can be better and this is how.
if you feel like you know your fellow online birth junkies (even though you’ve never actually met them) better than you know some of your flesh-and-blood friends This is so true! I know it would be so fun to hang out together.
if ten or more of your Facebook friends (or other equivalent) are people you’ve never actually met but know them through birth-related functions (blogs, email lists, etc.) There are SO many I don’t “know” but we are “friends”.
if you’ve ever gone to a birth conference I LOVED the Trust Birth Conference
if someone tells you her baby is breech and you give her names (bonus points if you know phone numbers) of chiropractors skilled in the Webster technique or people who can perform moxibustion AND where to get the Turn Your Breech Baby Hypnosis CD
if you know what counterpressure is and how to apply it (bonus points if you’ve done it) BONUS POINTS!
if you know what a rebozo is (bonus points if you’ve used one) I know what one is and it has been used on me.
if you encourage your children, especially young children, to watch birth videos OH YEAH, get them while they are young!
if you can get hoarse from watching TV birth shows (like A Baby Story), because you’re yelling through the screen at the woman or her care providers I DO yell a lot, they do the craziest things, it makes me SO mad!