When a mom experiences a traumatic birth, she can heal more quickly by being supported while going through the stages of grief.

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
   Sometimes during birth or immediately after a mom is in a state of shock, totally unable to believe what has just happened to her.  She may even deny that it was traumatic at first.   This is to help her survive the experience.
2. PAIN & GUILT-
   As the shock fades away, a mom may begin to feel overwhelmed by the pain (physical, mental or emotional) from her birth experience.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
   A moms frustration turns to anger and looking to lay blame on someone for what happened.  Herself or others.  What if I had only done this? or What if the Doctor had done this instead?
4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
   Sometimes right when others think a mom should be getting past her birth experience a mom might enter into a state of sad reflection.  She may feel very lonely, like no one understands or cares what she has been through.  This is a normal stage of grief, so it is important that a mom is listened to during this time.  Talking her out of it will not work.  Listening and empathy will help a mom feel not so alone and help her move to the next step (on her own time!)
5. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
   If a mom can review her birth with someone and work through what choices were made on everyone’s part and is able to see it from other angles, it can help her work through some of the emotions she is feeling.  Talking with others who were there or getting copies of their medical records so they can see all that happened are ways to do this.  Be aware this can be a trigger and be upsetting or it can be calming.
6. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
   A mom learns to accept and deal with what happened during her birth.  It doesn’t mean she will be happy about it.  But it is a place where she can move forward and hope for a better experience for her next birth.

Healing From a Traumatic Birth Series

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• Who Cares?
• What qualifies as a Traumatic Birth?
• Grieving after a traumatic birth.
• 7 Tips to Help You Heal After a Traumatic Birth
• 8 Tips to Help Support Another Mom Heal
• How can you avoid a traumatic birth?