Inspiring VBAC – She’s Here!

4 AM ?!?! Wow, things were just moving right along! A little while later, I was resting between contractions and I started wondering if someone had turned off the pitocin again because I felt like several minutes had gone by without anything happening. Literally, as I was finishing this thought, I heard Nichole say (to Christine), “See that? She hasn’t had a contraction in a few minutes.” It was like she could read my mind! In my head, I was thinking, “She thinks that was the “rest and be thankful” that comes at the end of transition before it’s time to push! No way! It CANNOT possibly be time for that yet.

I don’t know if it was immediately after this, or a few contractions later, but I realized the sensations had changed, and what I was doing had changed. I was grunting through the contractions instead of moaning. One of the doulas (I think it was Nichole) asked me if I felt like I was pushing. I said I didn’t know. I really didn’t. I don’t think it had sunk into my head yet that that was what was happening. When she asked me, I actually thought about it during the next contraction. I tried pushing a little, and it felt better than not pushing. She told me just to do what felt good. After a couple of pushing contractions I heard them tell Joel to call the midwife and tell her I was pushing. I think the first time he called he got her voicemail. As I continued what I was doing, I heard them tell him to call her back. It seemed like they wanted her to come sooner rather than later. He got through to her this time and she said she was on her way. I think this was some time after 4:30.

The urge to push got more intense as the contractions continued, so I pushed a little more with them. I trusted my body not to tell me to push if it wasn’t ready, but at the same time I was just a tiny bit nervous that maybe I wasn’t completely dilated and I didn’t want to do any damage. Anjli showed up somewhere in there and asked if she could check me. I was still on my knees at this point, so she did her best to try to maneuver around me, but the positioning was just too awkward. She asked me if I would be ok to turn over onto my back. I didn’t want to move, but I really wanted to know that it was safe for me to be pushing, so I quickly (as quickly as one can turn with all sorts of wires and things attached to them) flipped over. She did a quick check and declared me 8-9 cm. So much for getting past “the point where I got stuck in my last labor” (Hypnobabies VBAC track) – I was WAY past that now! Yay!

Being on my back was torture. I felt stuck in that position, because any time I tried to move I would be hit with another contraction. I pushed through them (since Anjli said I could, and I really couldn’t help it anyway), but I tried not to push too hard since I wasn’t completely dilated. I wanted to give myself a few minutes to open that last little bit. And, for the record, I have no idea how anyone pushes in that position because I felt completely ineffective.

After a few contractions, I was able to turn back over (that felt so much better!). I started feeling pressure in my hips, like they were being pushed apart. I asked if the baby was almost there, because I wasn’t sure if what I was doing was effective. I couldn’t feel her moving down on the inside, but my bones felt her. As she moved lower and lower, the only indication I had was that the counter pressure I was getting was moving lower, as well. It was like they knew right where she was. I never had to say anything (except I think I mentioned my hips).

Anjli asked me if I wanted to try pushing on the toilet, and I thought, “Oh dear lord, if I have to move AND if I have to move to the toilet, that would just suck! No way! I will get this, and I will get this right here!” I also remember getting upset because my feet were falling asleep and the numbness was distracting me (it bothered me more than anything else at that point, which just tells you how much I hate to be numb). I think someone rubbed them to help me get over that sensation.

As I kept pushing, I started feeling the warm compresses (to help prevent tearing) that Anjli was applying (per my birth plan). They felt so wonderful, and they distracted me from the small tear I knew I was getting on my left side (which also indicated to me that she was getting ready to crown – I never could get out of my head completely). Then I heard someone say, “ Look, there’s hair!” Then a push or two later, “Look, there’s eyebrows!” Then, “Look, there’s her nose!” All through this I thought to myself, “What is taking her head so damn long?” And then I heard the best news of all, “She’s here! Turn around and get your baby! You did it!” Talia arrived at 5:29 AM!

(“Look! There’s her nose!” The washcloth in Anjli’s hand was for the warm compresses that felt so great!)

I was warned to be careful as I turned around because there was fluid EVERYWHERE. Apparently, near the end of the pushing stage, my water had broken again (I felt the gush, but not a pop or anything else). It was all over the bed, the floor, and Anjli (sorry!)! I held my daughter in all her squishy, gooey wonderfulness, and I just stared. She was quiet, but her eyes were open and she was looking straight at me. Since her cord was left untouched, she was receiving oxygenated blood from her placenta, and in a minute she pinked up and gave a little cry. A few minutes later the cord was clamped and Joel got to cut it. She was free! The placenta came out easily and Anjli gave us a tour of it – including where the small first sac had been that had started us down this crazy path.

(Holding my gooey baby!)

(We did it!)

The nurses were wonderful, too. No one was in a rush to take Talia or do anything to her. I held her as a few stitches were placed in my 1st degree tear, and I tried to nurse her, but she wasn’t really in the mood quite yet. When I finally got out of bed, I handed my baby to her daddy to hold for the first time. If I was going to give her to anyone, it was him. While I was getting cleaned up, she was weighed and measured. My big girl was 8lbs 3oz and 20.5 inches (See Baby had estimated her weight at 8lb 7oz – pretty close!) – much bigger than her brother had been (but three extra weeks to grow will do that for you)! The staff even asked me if I still wanted to wait to give her a bath (which we did, so I could enjoy that fresh baby smell for a long time). When I got back in bed, she was finally ready to nurse for the first time. Oh, how I missed that!

(Daddy and his baby girl)

(Our first nursing session)

Sometime around 7:30 AM we were moved down to postpartum (on the way, my L&D nurse kept saying how she couldn’t believe how quick it went), and shortly after that my parents arrived with Eli. I was so happy that he never had time to realize we were gone, and he seemed to know exactly who that baby was in my arms. He was never once confused about why Talia wasn’t in my belly anymore.

After my parents left, we spent some time enjoying our precious new daughter, just the two of us. The nursery nurse came and did her admission exam and she had her blood drawn because of the extended time with my water broken. Later that afternoon, I gave her her first bath (with almost plain water).

(The team that made it all happen! I couldn’t have done it without each and every one of them!)