It was a major milestone for me when Thing 1 turned ten.  I found myself very reflective about his birth and how it effected me and him.

Thing 2 turned ten yesterday and it was just a fun celebration.  I was thinking about that and wondered why his birth wasn’t really in my thoughts at all. I took a few minutes to reflect and this is what I came up with.

His birth was “normal”

nothing scary or magical happened (other then him being born of course!)

These are some key things I remember about his birth.

• I enjoyed the beginning when Rob and I were a really good team.
• I was comfortable and enjoying my birthing time.  The nurses kept telling me that “It will really hurt when your water breaks.”
• I got “stuck” at a 7.  (“stuck” per the nurses)
• After an hour or so stuck at 7, I agreed to have my water broken.
• Things started to hurt.  (What a shock after being told that it would start hurting over and over)
• I mentally decided if I was still at a 7 the next time they checked, I wanted the epidural.
• I was still a 7 and got the epidural (after being offered and getting demerol because the anesthesiologist was busy and I had to wait for the epidural)
• After the epidural I felt very disconnected to everything.  It was like I didn’t even need to be there.  Rob and I were not a team anymore.  He was chatting with the nurse and I was just laying there.
• I really liked my nurse and felt like we really bonded.
• I pushed for almost 3 hours.
• Thing 2 was born about 1 AM and was over 9 pounds.
• I was tired and hungry.
• But I was thrilled I had my VBAC.
• In the morning I wanted to see my nurse and there was a new one, the other one never said Good Bye.
• I was sad that I would never see the other nurse again.  (A great reason to have a doula, you experience this life change with someone and then never see them again, it was another disconnect with his birth.  Maybe if I could have reflected with the nurse after it would have made things more real for me?)

I am fine with how things went.

I would like to emphasize, that I was/am actually pretty happy with how things went.   Thing 2 was healthy and all was well.  I had my VBAC.

But the experience of his birth itself remains very neutral in my mind and emotions. It was so much better then Thing 1’s birth, so I was fine with how things went. But I felt very disconnected from the process once I got the demerol and epidural.

Molly at Talk Birth had a post last week about the Flow of Childbirth and it helped me see why his birth wasn’t so memorable.

I wrote about how I felt about the differences in my 3 Things Births in Birth is a Journey:  Does it have to be life changing?

If you simplify different birth experiences I think they could fall into these 3 categories.

1. a traumatic journey
2. a normal journey
3. a magical journey