It is interesting if a woman has things go wrong during her wedding, she gets a lot of sympathy. But if a woman has a negative birth experience, she often gets little support.

I like this post by Michele where she points out how supportive others are if a woman has a bad wedding experience (photographer doesn’t come, etc) but gets little sympathy if their birth doesn’t go as hoped for.

The moms who have a negative birth experience are told

“You have your baby. That is all that matters.”

Well, you could say to the woman with a wedding disaster,

“Well you are married, that is all that matters.”

That would be considered horrible by most to say that to a woman who falls into a pool during her ceremony – or whose florist loses her flowers.

Money

I do find it ironic that women will spend thousands and thousands of dollars and spend MONTHS planning for their wedding. Yet most women spend as little as possible to have a baby.

Many women want homebirth, but are unwilling to pay a few thousand dollars out of pocket for it. Other moms want a doula, but are unwilling to spend the money on that. I am always curious how much these women spent on their wedding.

I feel for moms who are struggling financially. But after seeing my student G. who was struggling financially,

• made choices to take my class (which I gave her a discount on, because she asked)
• and then they chose to have a homebirth midwife last minute, despite the cost.

I thought if SHE can do it, because it means that much to her, anyone can do it. It is about choices, priorities.

Time

Most women spend relatively little time (compared to the time they spend on preparing for a wedding) on preparing for birth, choosing a care provider and birth location.

 

Special Day – excitement or fear?

A wedding is a special day, something most little girls dream about their whole lives and they usually only have one wedding day. So it is certainly well worth the time and money. The energy they put into planning their special day helps them look forward to it with excitement. They have done all they can do to make it special. Yes there are things outside their control (the weather, florists etc) but they can enjoy the day, knowing they have prepared.

A birthing day should be a special day too, a woman will probably have only 1-4 of these days in her life. I wish all little girls dreamed about their birthing days their whole life, some probably do, but most probably fear it. Which makes me very sad.

I have seen many moms who fear birth, take Hypnobabies and it helps them to change their perceptions about birth and look forward to their birthing day! That of course makes me happy.

A birthing day should be a day in which a mother is respected and honored, one in which she should get the best care possible. It is certainly worth the time and money and energy to prepare for it.

What are you willing to do?

If you are an expecting mom, think about what you did to create the best wedding possible. What are you willing to do to create the best birth possible?

It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, check some books out of the library, learn about your choices, find the best care provider and birth location for you, find a doula in training.

It will take time and effort.

It will be worth it, because you will feel empowered and excited and you will have the best birth possible.