T1 has really been wanting to get rid of his big white organizer. I think it is great, but it did sort of overwhelm his room.

I told him if he could get rid of enough of his things that he didn’t need that much storage then it was fine.

Time to organize!

The first day we went through every item and got rid of a bunch and the rest ended up on his floor.

The next day we organized it into different piles.

Which were:

• scouts
• electronics
• books
• memories
• ham radio
• and a few others.

Then upon realizing we could fit it on a smaller shelf, I had to convince T2 to switch organizers.  Which led to a whole new situation.. but that is for a different post.

Anyway, here is what we ended up with after a very long day!

I love his scout section of the wall.

Memory Shelf, Lego Shelf and Ham Radio Shelf

his bed area

What does flossing have to do with pregnancy or birth?  Dental health is actually very important to pregnant moms.  There have been some studies suggesting that bad dental health can lead to premature birth!

So take care of your teeth.

Bryton Pick Review

A new way to do that is the Bryton Pick.  You can use it instead of floss.  It is easy to carry around (fits in your wallet) so you can use it anywhere.  It is pretty easy to use.  The first time was odd, but it has quickly become easy.

I was super excited because it makes it so much easier for my son to floss.  He has braces and flossing has been quite a challenge, not anymore. 

I prefer flossing when at home.  But I like having this in my purse.  You know when you go out to eat and get something stuck in your teeth?  The Bryton Pick is super handy!

You can check out Bryton Picks here.

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com created by WebBizIdeas.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255 Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising. Tomoson Product review & giveaway Disclosure.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this three part Hypnobabies birth story.

Part 1: Baking of the Cake on a Normal Afternoon

While we were running around in the kitchen we timed a few of them and they were about a minute long and 4-5 minutes apart. When I felt one coming, I’d lean on the counter and sway until it started to go away. Things were still so casual I decided we should make some buttercream frosting and ice Robert’s birthday cake we’d made the day before. When I started working on it, Jordan said “we are NOT making frosting for a cake right now!” He thought it sounded ridiculous. But I told him we didn’t have anything better to do.

Part 2: Moving to the Birth Tub and Pushing the Baby Out

Seriously, birth is always a surprise. Even the third time. He was born at 7:17 pm, during one of the final scenes of Peter Pan, after about 20-30 minutes of pushing. It was about an hour and a half after we finished his birthday cake, which makes me laugh.

Part 3:  Jenny Shares Her Favorite Pictures from the birth (They are SO sweet!)

This was actually during the most intense part, just a few minutes before Robert was born. I love this one so much!

I love this one so much too!  Jenny used Hypnobabies for her birth.  Thanks for sharing your inspirational story with the world!

Remember it isn’t all or nothing.  Even small changes can help. 

1.  Where are you now?

On average how much time each day do your kids spend

• watching TV
• playing with hand held devices
• on the computer
• playing video games

2.  Is your guess right?

If you want to surprise yourself, take a week, where you actually record how much time they do these thing.  Do it.  It will be eye opening.

Do you feel good about the amount of time they spend on media?  Do you want to decrease it?

3.  Get inspired. 

Maybe doing Steps 1 and 2 were motivation enough.  Why do you want to decrease your media usage?  Will it be worth it?

The best books to inspire you

• Parenting Well in the Media Age
• Simplicity Parenting

4. Make a Plan

If your kids are older, include them on the decision.  Make a plan and pick a date, maybe the 1st full week of school is a good time to start?

Start slow or go cold turkey? Only you know what will work best for your kids.

You might decide 1 hour total a day is a good goal to work towards.  If your kids are currently at 3 hours a day, cut back 30 minutes/day for a week and within a month they will be down to 1 hour!

You could plan a busy fun filled week and remove the TV or cover it at the beginning of the week.  When the next week comes they will be used to no TV, so it may ease the transition.

Regardless of which way you want to go – make a plan!!!  Let them know what it is and then stick to it.

5.  Take Small Steps or a Giant Leap, but DO something!

Taking small steps may be easier.  Maybe cut out the hand held media first.  Start bringing books to entertain them while out and about.

Maybe turn off the TV while eating dinner.

What is their biggest addiction?  Start with that one and then do the others.  Or take out the others and then remove the worst problem.  Only you can know the best way for your family.

But make a change, improve your life.

6.  Create a New Rhythm

I think the key to success is to create a new rhythm.  Look at where media has filled roles in your day.  What can you replace them with?  Maybe instead of an after school show, you can institute milk and cookies with mom in the kitchen.  Maybe instead of an evening show an earlier bedtime or a read aloud time can fill that void.

It will feel like a void at first, so planning on the fillers will only help that transition.

Will it be worth the effort to reduce your media?

Oh yes, so very much.  I promise if you will try it for a month, you will love it.

Reducing Media Usage for Kids Series

This series was inspired by my 13 year old.  He said I need to tell people about this, after seeing the benefits in his quality of life over the last few months as we reduced our media usage.

• More Boys = More TV or How we got to become media addicts.
• Our Media Rhythm Before
• Transitioning to Media Free*
• Taking the Final Step – No more computer for T1
• Benefits of Being Media Free*
• Mostly Media Free in the Summer
• Easy Tips to Help You Reduce Media Usage

Summer was fast approaching and I was wondering,

What will summer look like media free?

So we had a family night discussion about it.

• T1 wanted to stay media free.
• T2 wanted to watch shows with us at night
• T3 was not invited to this particular session of family night (we put him to bed and then had this discussion.)

So we came up with a compromise.

Mostly No Media Summer

During the day we are trying to stay media free.

But it is up to moms discretion – ask first.  So for example T2 wanted to play Wii with a friend this week.  I said, yes you can play an hour once T3 leaves to go to another house.   This will help keep T3 media free.  I think the younger they are the less media they should get.

On Monday and Wednesday night the big boys can watch a show with Dad.  (I teach Hypnobabies Monday night and Wednesday is usually my other night out.)  So this is part of our rhythm, but I knew if I left it random, each night T2 would be begging and it would become a problem.  So I set the expectation and they know no TV Tues and Thurs.

Keep T3 Media Free

photo credit: pineapple9995

I like this plan, it is balanced.  The big boys get some media and it keeps T3 mostly media free.  I think the younger they are the less media they should have.   T3′s behavior deteriorates with the more media he has.  I think his little brain gets overwhelmed.

I will say it was an adjustment.  He keeps wanting to play with me.  I was thinking back to last summer and not remembering the never ending requests to play games.  Then I remembered, last summer he was watching shows instead of playing with me.  So there has been an adjustment on both of our parts.  I am embracing these moments, I know that so soon he will be 13 and not want to play games with me anymore.

Computer Problem

I am finding so far the computer is the problem.  Though in a good way.  The big boys need to research stuff.  For instance they bought themselves a sewing machine and have to look things up on the internet to learn how to make things.  The first project was a pillowcase.  Totally a good reason to go on the computer.

However T3 is being the media police and yelling “media!”  He just finds it hard to accept that they can go on for some reasons and he can’t.  I try to explain that what they are doing is like homework, but he isn’t buying that.  We have only had a few days of summer, so hopefully it will balance out soon.

Reducing Media Usage for Kids Series

This series was inspired by my 13 year old.  He said I need to tell people about this, after seeing the benefits in his quality of life over the last few months as we reduced our media usage.

• More Boys = More TV or How we got to become media addicts.
• Our Media Rhythm Before
• Transitioning to Media Free*
• Taking the Final Step – No more computer for T1
• Benefits of Being Media Free*
• Mostly Media Free in the Summer
• 4 Easy Tips to Help You Reduce Media Usage

Going media free has been the best step we have taken to simplify our lives.  Because now WE are in control of media, instead of media being in control of us.  Here are just some of the benefits I have noticed.

More Time to Do Important Things

No media leaves plenty of time for

• homework
• piano practice
• family time
• games
• sports
• SLEEP

In January T2 was getting depressed and sad.   I was so worried and brought him to our beloved chiropractor, who quickly determined he was sleep deprived.  She said we needed to move his bedtime to 8 PM, instead of the 9-9:30 one he currently had.

That would have been a huge challenge if we were still watching a TV show at night.  Because we had free time at night it was fairly easy to make that transition to an earlier bedtime.  We didn’t have to cut anything out.  I had my happy T2 back again after less then a week or earlier bedtimes.  He was just tired.

REAL Downtime

I was most worried about giving up the afternoon show.  I thought they needed that downtime.  Well a snack at the kitchen table and a chat with mom is better than a TV show.  Yes, this felt like a “sacrifice” at first.  But now it is one of my favorite parts of the day.

Guess what, as I learned more I discovered when it looks like kids are relaxing in front of the TV, they are actually in a state of brain overwhelm.  They are zoned out to help protect themselves from the onslaught of oncoming information.   It is actually not relaxing for them.  You may see results of this after you turn the TV off, many kids go a little bonkers, they are trying to assimilate all their brain has been through.

Here are two links with some more information.

• Brain waves while watching TV
• Effects of TV on brain

Healthier Eating

I love that food is no longer connected with the TV.  Before we were media free, the boys would come home, grab a snack and sit in front of the TV every afternoon.  There is nothing good about that!  Now they eat a snack in the kitchen as we talk.  A much healthier connection.

Food = watching TV, “relaxing”   VS Food = connecting with family

Learning to Prioritize

T2 will still play games on the computer, but with his limited time on the weekend he researches and does useful stuff first.

If he thinks of things he wants to do during the week, he writes it down and saves it for the weekend.  He has a blog and writes for that.  He researches stuff he wants to make, like duct tape wallets, etc.  So he spends a lot less time on games and more learning.

Healthier Kids

T2 would sometimes get headaches with too much computer, so those have disappeared.  2 weeks ago there was a day that T2 spent a few hours on media, I wasn’t home and he just watched lots of TV.  He ended up getting a big headache, the first one in a long time.  I asked him if he knew why he got the headache.  “Too much media mom, ugh!”

The boys also spend more time outside playing and being active inside instead of vegging in front of a screen.  Definitely healthier

Better Behavior

I have seen the biggest change in behavior with T3.  T3 has been exposed to video games since he stopped napping around 2.  He would get hyped up with the Wii on and it brought him to this place that wasn’t pretty, even if he was just watching.

Now the Wii is on maybe 1 -2 hours a week and usually when he is in bed or at a friends, he isn’t getting that negative experience.  So his behavior is better.

Also since he knows we are media free, he doesn’t hound me to watch, “Just one more show!”

Creative and Balanced Kids

This is the best benefit.  My kids are not wasting hours a day on mindless media, or even “educational” media.  They learn so much more by playing and building and doing things in real life.

My kids are not obsessed with the latest fads.  They learn about them only via friends. Without commercials to tempt them, they are savers much more than buyers.

My boys also have very entrepreneurial spirits.  This summer they bought a sewing machine and are making things to sell.  If they were on the computer or playing video games, they wouldn’t have the time or drive to do this.

Less Addictions Now Hopefully Equals Less Addictions Later

A recent study has shown that people are actually addicted to media.  They have physical and psychological withdrawls from it.

If we feed into this and allow our families to embrace this addiction, what kind of future will your family have?

My older boys were not exposed to video games until they were 8 and 10. I think the younger children are exposed to video games the more easily they get addicted to them.  Their brains are forming so much during the first 5 years.  If they get addicted to the constant changes and actions of video games, it is hard to overcome that need for non-stop stimulation.

In our society there is so much addiction to so many things (drugs, alcohol, sex) and I can see how that cycle is starting with media in our children.  And it is starting younger and younger.

What benefits have you seen by reducing media use?

I would love for you to share any benefits you can think to add to this list!

Reducing Media Usage for Kids Series

This series was inspired by my 13 year old.  He said I need to tell people about this, after seeing the benefits in his quality of life over the last few months as we reduced our media usage.

• More Boys = More TV or How we got to become media addicts.
• Our Media Rhythm Before
• Transitioning to Media Free*
• Taking the Final Step – No more computer for T1
• Benefits of Being Media Free*
• Mostly Media Free in the Summer – coming tomorrow
• Easy Tips to Help You Reduce Media Usage – coming soon!

By January I was ready to take the computer away from T1.  I had seen these amazing benefits for T2 and T3 and felt that T1 wasn’t quite getting them.

He needed a break!

He was also getting more intense and compulsive about the computer and even at one point asked for some help because he felt like he had so much to do.  But these were all self imposed learning things on the computer.

We finally had a situation that brought it all to a head in the middle of January.   After a good heart to heart with Dad and I, T1 willingly said he was fine with no computer for a month.  So he quit cold turkey.  We went down to 1 computer that we moved to the kitchen and he could only use it for homework.

Benefits immediately

The level of this frantic energy dropped in our home.  Within one week T1 had balanced out.  I was converted to the power of being media free.  He chose to stay computer free for the rest of the school year.  By May he was sometimes playing Flight Simulator on the weekends and doing some research on scouting stuff too.   But it was balanced and only on the weekend.

He was grateful for the change.  He even said I should go to schools and talk to kids about media and how too much can hurt you.  He is the one who inspired me to do this series.

On the scale of media usage of 1 to 10.  10 being non-stop media, 1 being none I would probably now our family at a 3.

© Photographer: | Agency: Dreamstime.com

Reducing Media Usage for Kids Series

This series was inspired by my 13 year old.  He said I need to tell people about this, after seeing the benefits in his quality of life over the last few months as we reduced our media usage.

• More Boys = More TV or How we got to become media addicts.
• Our Media Rhythm Before
• Transitioning to Media Free*
• Taking the Final Step – No more computer for T1
• Benefits of Being Media Free*
• Mostly Media Free in the Summer
• 4 Easy Tips to Help You Reduce Media Usage

The fall of 2010 we suddenly found T2 and T3 were unexpectedly (but so excitedly) starting at a Waldorf Charter School. One of the “rules” at the school is kids are supposed to be media free during the school week.

Why do they want children to be media free?  Here is a great explanation!

I Finally found the motivation!

I was so excited to have an excuse and an outside source forcing me to do this.  I had been wanting this change, the boys, not so much.

I told them we would gently ease into it.  I gave us 2 weeks to get completely media free.*

Week 1

So the first week we still had our after school show and computer for 30 minutes.

But no more evening shows.  Which left a very bored T1 and T2 and without any motivation on their parts to get ready for bed.  (We had been having them get ready before our evening show, which made bedtimes easier.)

We had to come up with a new rhythm for their bedtime.  T1 was easy because he is a reader, so he was happy to have more time to read.  T2 and I started having special chats or would play a game.

Week 2 – holding onto old beliefs

The next week we got rid of computer for T2 and T3.  Here is where I bought into the idea that since T1 was learning on the computer it was OK.  So I still allowed him on the computer.  Obviously for homework it is OK, but I also let him have 1-2 hours of other things.  They still watched the after school show that week.

Week 3 – our first media free week

Finally we were down to no media during the week.  (except T1 who had his computer)  If my boys were at their friends houses to play most of my friends tried to help us stay media free, but that is a huge commitment for my friends to uphold.  So I just had to let go of that.  However they all knew and made an effort, which I so appreciated.

How did we feel about the changes?

• T1 adjusted easily to the whole thing.  (maybe because he still had the computer?)
• T2 had the hardest time.  That first media free week wasn’t pretty.  But honestly by the next week the complaining stopped and we had a new normal.
• T3 didn’t seem to miss it at all.  He is our policeman.  If the boys are on the computer for homework he gets upset because we are “media free”!    He shouts “Media!!!!”
• I will admit evenings with T2 were a challenge.  I didn’t always have the energy or time to chat or play a game.  So it felt like a sacrifice at first.

*When I say Media Free – I mean during the school week.  Monday through Friday after school.

Reducing Media Usage for Kids Series

This series was inspired by my 13 year old.  He said I need to tell people about this, after seeing the benefits in his quality of life over the last few months as we reduced our media usage.

• More Boys = More TV or How we got to become media addicts.
• Our Media Rhythm Before
• Transitioning to Media Free*
• Taking the Final Step – No more computer for T1
• Benefits of Being Media Free*
• Mostly Media Free in the Summer
• 4 Easy Tips to Help You Reduce Media Usage

TV Shows

The boys had a rhythm of 1-2 shows a day.  During the school year it was pretty much 1 afternoon show right after school and that was it.  We would sometimes watch a movie together on the weekend.  The summer before we went media free there was a shift where Rob and I would watch a show (like Psych) together with T1 and T2 after T3 was in bed.

Video Games

I long held the strong stance of no video games in our house.  Then came Wii.  I thought that might be OK, so when T1 and T2 were 8 and 11 we got a Wii.  They would sometimes play with friends and sometimes together, but usually only 1-2 times a week, not part of our rhythm at all, just and extra toy if you will.  So I felt like we were managing that pretty well.

Hand held media

I don’t believe in it.  We had never had it.  One of T2′s friend tried to give him his old DS and I said, “No way!”

Bring a book!  Be present where you are.  I blogged about this in I Spy or iPhone

Computers

This was probably our biggest problem area.  Though it was easier to overlook then the TV, because they were quiet in the office, so I didn’t “see” it.

Where we stood the summer before we went media “free”

• TV 1-2 shows a day (maybe 3 with T1 and T2, because now part of their evening rhythm included a show with us)  Never the news or any “grown up” show.
• Video Games – 1-2 hours a week, randomly.  Not apart of our rhythm at all.
• Computer – by now we had 3 computers and 4 laptops, so plenty to go around.
  • T1 was well on his way to an addiction of learning, he was teaching himself basic language and programming and editing videos and researching and probably spending a few hours on the computer a day.  (I tried to limit it to 2 hours a day, but honestly it was probably more and I felt he was learning so it was OK.)
  • T2 had discovered the “joy” of stupid games on the computer.  I did limit him to 1-2 hours a day, because he could waste hours on there.  I felt like what he was doing was pointless, so not worth his time.
  • T3 was still on it “sparingly” in comparison to his brothers.  Maybe a few hours a week total.

Actually Pretty Good Compared to Society

Definitely compared to our friends (or the rest of society) our kids were actually getting so much less than their friends.

I felt like it was too much, but when comparing to friends I felt pretty happy with how our family was doing things.

I felt like my boys knew how to play in real life with their friends.  They were very creative and intelligent and good kids.  I felt like because we had less media it encouraged these things.  I felt OK about our media usage (though a big concerned about T1 and T2 computer and really wanted less TV too, but it wasn’t worth the fight to me.)

I was addicted too

Not to media (I watch maybe 1 show a night with DH after the boys are in bed).  I do spend a lot of time working on the computer, but if it is work I can’t count that as an addiction.

Rather, I was addicted to the freedom I had when my boys were on media!

I think this is where a big part of the problem of the overuse of media for kids comes from.  The adults who would rather them be on media and not bother them, then have to interact and play with them.

This mom really captures this problem so well in her article - I’m Raising an Addict

I would still rather be Googling “video games good for you” than playing Twister – you’ll find experts who say video games help our kids develop persistence and problem-solving skills.

I was not quite there, I knew that the benefits of media use were for me.  I knew it would be harder for me to change, then them.

Where is your family’s media use on a scale of 1 to 10?

On the scale of media usage of 1 to 10.  10 being non-stop media, 1 being none I would probably have rated our family at a 4.  Not bad for a family with 3 boys.  (Looking back I would rate us at a 6)

Do you wish you used less?

Reducing Media Usage for Kids Series

This series was inspired by my 13 year old.  He said I need to tell people about this, after seeing the benefits in his quality of life over the last few months as we reduced our media usage.

• More Boys = More TV or How we got to become media addicts.
• Our Media Rhythm Before
• Transitioning to Media Free*
• Taking the Final Step – No more computer for T1
• Benefits of Being Media Free*
• Mostly Media Free in the Summer
• 4 Easy Tips to Help You Reduce Media Usage

I was raised with the rule of watching an hour of TV a day.  It irritated me as a child, but as I grew I could see the benefits.  So I wanted to limit media for my kids.  Here is how I tried to accomplish this.  As you can see, it didn’t really work as well as I hoped.

One Child – easier to limit media

When T1 was born, we did have Baby Einstein Videos.  He would maybe watch 1 a couple times a week.  (Mostly while I showered.)  I distinctly remember one night when he had an ear infection and would not be consoled, sitting on the sofa watching and holding him and he “zoned out” and was “content.”    That was about the extent of media for him.

Add another child and suddenly TV was more “helpful”

When T2 was born suddenly the TV was a tool I used to help me keep T1 (age 2) entertained while I took care of T2. I was also very overwhelmed with 2 kids and the TV became a chance for me to take a break.

As T1 gave up his nap, I would still have him do quiet time in his room.  But he was pretty creative.

After a week where he

• smeared poop all over himself
• the next day he emptied a huge tub of Vaseline Petroeum Jelly, smearing it everywhere
• the next day he played with his poop again

I decided an afternoon video was a better choice then so called “quiet time”.    So at this point he watched a video each afternoon while T2 napped.

At some point he and T2 would started watching Clifford every night after dinner before bed, while I cleaned up.

So TV was becoming part of our daily rhythm.

It stayed at about this rhythm for years.  Though as T1 started school, the “rest” video became an after school video for “downtime”  and Clifford still helped me through the evening craziness.

1 more baby joins the fun

Then T3 was born.  By now the big boys were watching things like Modern Marvels and Mythbusters.  But still only about 1-2 shows a day.  If T3 was awake he was “watching” too.  He never really watched Baby Einstein, he would just watch the big boy shows.  Or we would watch Signing Time Videos together as a family.

I am VERY choosy about what they watched.

We were mostly a PBS/History Channel family, but would watch some Disney and Nick Jr shows, like Little Einsteins and Backyardigans.

Never things like Spongebob or Waverly Place.  Those shows have absolutely no value to them in my mind.  Why waste time watching that, when you could spend an hour learning about glue?  (Modern Marvels, it is actually pretty amazing the things you learn on that show.)

Computer

This was an area that grew out of control pretty quickly.

T1 was on the computer as a preschooler.  He is gifted (I didn’t realize this when he was a preschooler, but it is SO apparent looking back)  he exhausted me with

• his need to constantly learn
• constantly do creative things (for example, playing with poop)
• incessant questions
• the desire to always be read to

He loved playing educational games.  I bought into the idea that he can learn so much on the computer.  Frankly it gave me a break from feeding his brain.

T2 started on the computer as a preschooler too.  He would watch T1 playing a lot.  He would play too, but he is more of a computer gamer type of personality.  He used it as a toy, not a learning device.

T1 has always used the computer as a way to learn, not as much as a gaming device.  For instance we have Flight Simulator and he has gone through I think almost all the flying instructional segments and could probably fly a real plane if he was in the pilots seat.  Whereas T2, just randomly tries to fly, it is a game to him.

T3 spent a lot less time on the computer, mostly because it was always being used by his big brothers.  Though as we neared our Media Free stage he was playing more “educational games” on PBS or Disney online, or the games we had that still worked on our newer computer platforms.

© Photographer | Agency: Dreamstime.com

Reducing Media Usage for Kids Series

This series was inspired by my 13 year old.  He said I need to tell people about this, after seeing the benefits in his quality of life over the last few months as we reduced our media usage.

• More Boys = More TV or How we got to become media addicts.
• Our Media Rhythm Before
• Transitioning to Media Free*
• Taking the Final Step – No more computer for T1
• Benefits of Being Media Free*
• Mostly Media Free in the Summer
• 4 Easy Tips to Help You Reduce Media Usage