TV Shows
The boys had a rhythm of 1-2 shows a day. During the school year it was pretty much 1 afternoon show right after school and that was it. We would sometimes watch a movie together on the weekend. The summer before we went media free there was a shift where Rob and I would watch a show (like Psych) together with T1 and T2 after T3 was in bed.
Video Games
I long held the strong stance of no video games in our house. Then came Wii. I thought that might be OK, so when T1 and T2 were 8 and 11 we got a Wii. They would sometimes play with friends and sometimes together, but usually only 1-2 times a week, not part of our rhythm at all, just and extra toy if you will. So I felt like we were managing that pretty well.
Hand held media
I don’t believe in it. We had never had it. One of T2’s friend tried to give him his old DS and I said, “No way!”
Bring a book! Be present where you are. I blogged about this in I Spy or iPhone
Computers
This was probably our biggest problem area. Though it was easier to overlook then the TV, because they were quiet in the office, so I didn’t “see” it.
Where we stood the summer before we went media “free”
- TV 1-2 shows a day (maybe 3 with T1 and T2, because now part of their evening rhythm included a show with us) Never the news or any “grown up” show.
- Video Games – 1-2 hours a week, randomly. Not apart of our rhythm at all.
- Computer– by now we had 3 computers and 4 laptops, so plenty to go around.
- T1 was well on his way to an addiction of learning, he was teaching himself basic language and programming and editing videos and researching and probably spending a few hours on the computer a day. (I tried to limit it to 2 hours a day, but honestly it was probably more and I felt he was learning so it was OK.)
- T2 had discovered the “joy” of stupid games on the computer. I did limit him to 1-2 hours a day, because he could waste hours on there. I felt like what he was doing was pointless, so not worth his time.
- T3 was still on it “sparingly” in comparison to his brothers. Maybe a few hours a week total.
Actually Pretty Good Compared to Society
Definitely compared to our friends (or the rest of society) our kids were actually getting so much less than their friends.
I felt like it was too much, but when comparing to friends I felt pretty happy with how our family was doing things.
I felt like my boys knew how to play in real life with their friends. They were very creative and intelligent and good kids. I felt like because we had less media it encouraged these things. I felt OK about our media usage (though a big concerned about T1 and T2 computer and really wanted less TV too, but it wasn’t worth the fight to me.)
I was addicted too
Not to media (I watch maybe 1 show a night with DH after the boys are in bed). I do spend a lot of time working on the computer, but if it is work I can’t count that as an addiction.
Rather, I was addicted to the freedom I had when my boys were on media!
I think this is where a big part of the problem of the overuse of media for kids comes from. The adults who would rather them be on media and not bother them, then have to interact and play with them.
This mom really captures this problem so well in her article – I’m Raising an Addict
I would still rather be Googling “video games good for you” than playing Twister – you’ll find experts who say video games help our kids develop persistence and problem-solving skills.
I was not quite there, I knew that the benefits of media use were for me. I knew it would be harder for me to change, then them.
Reducing Media Usage for Kids Series
This series was inspired by my 13 year old. He said I need to tell people about this, after seeing the benefits in his quality of life over the last few months as we reduced our media usage.
- More Boys = More TV or How we got to become media addicts.
- Our Media Rhythm Before
- Transitioning to Media Free*
- Taking the Final Step – No more computer for T1
- Benefits of Being Media Free*
- Mostly Media Free in the Summer
- Easy Tips to Help You Reduce Media Usage
I am really good about having little to no media in Caleb’s life. Although, he does watch TV at the gym in the kids club. He loves it cause he doesn’t get it at home. It’s easy though because he still takes a 3 hour nap every day. I know when he naps less it will be tempting. I also know as more kids come we might use it a bit more. I want to be careful though because we have addictive personalities and I want to help Caleb in any way not to get addicted to media. I almost never watch TV but I am definitely addicted to the internet. I could definitely be strict with myself like I am with Caleb. I just don’t have the sincere desire yet to really crack down completely, but I have made changes here and there. It’s usually when I’m tired I use the internet, and it keeps me in contact with family and friends. I use it too much though and need to bite the bullet and get unplugged most the time.
Sounds like you are doing great for Caleb. It is so true if they are not getting it regularly, it is such a treat when they do. As for internet addiction, I struggle with that too. It is hard, because it does help me feel connected to others, but I try so hard to balance it. It can be such an escape!