I have a podcast episode about this now.
I love the book The Five Love Languages. I think it may have saved my marriage when Thing 2 was 1 years old. So I really do love this book. It basically says there are 5 different love languages and what may make me feel loved, wouldn’t make you feel loved.
- Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Touch
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
For me it is all about Words of Affirmation. For Rob it is all about touch. So he might come home and want to touch and snuggle, but if he doesn’t say, “Thanks for cleaning the kitchen.” I am not going to feel loved.
This doesn’t mean he is right or I am wrong. It doesn’t mean my love is better, it is just we feel it differently. Who knows why? Maybe the way we were raised, maybe it is in our personality? But it doesn’t matter, we just need to be aware and accept our differences and work to show love to each other.
I just read a great post talking about Spiritual Love Languages.
In What’s Your Spiritual Language she says hers are
- Music
- Social Activism
She doesn’t get spiritually fed by:
- Commune with nature
- Solitude
- Ritual/symbolism
In the comments people added these spiritual languages, which I combined some:
- Prayer/Meditation/Pondering
- Acts of Service
- Scripture Study
- Tradition
- Love in Action
- Teaching/Learning
- Gratitude
So I made a list combining some – I got it down to 8 Spiritual Languages
- Music
- Social Activism/Acts of Service/Love in Action
- Communing with Nature
- Solitude/Prayer/Meditation/Pondering
- Ritual/Symbolism/Traditions
- Scripture Study
- Teaching/Learning
- Gratitude
Mine are:
- Music – I definitely learn spiritually through music. I often learn more at choir practice then church.
- Social Activism/Acts of Service/Love in Action – This is a favorite. I am all about love!
- Teaching/Learning – I love to teach lessons, or give talks, because I learn so much this way. I also love to feel the inspiration of the Holy Ghost as I prepare and as I teach.
So, what are your spiritual languages? Please share.
Is it OK we have different spiritual languages?
The Native Americans traditionally learn a lot spiritually through their communing with nature. Who am I to say that is wrong? That is how THEY learn. I know there is a church in my area who go to nature areas to worship God. Some people think they are just coming up with an excuse to have church outside and play on Sunday, but if that works for them, who am I to say that is wrong?
Some people are really into traditions and rituals. Look at Catholic services for example. If that is something that speaks to the people that attend there and makes them feel closer to God, then good for them! Maybe that is why we have so many different religions? To fulfill different spiritual love languages?
This topic comes at an interesting time. I have been in an e-mail conversation with a friend about spiritual things. It is obvious we come from very different spiritual languages and how we learn about spiritual things. I think the way she learns is great (very logical/scriptural), but she seems to feel the way I learn is wrong.
Couldn’t it be we just learn in our own way? Couldn’t God teach people in different ways? Just as we all have our unique love languages we have our own unique spiritual languages. God can teach through them all!
Very interesting! I’m going to be thinking about that for a while!
My DH and I have similar issues with love languages. We each tend to give what we want, which results in frustration! He wants (and gives) touch and words of affirmation (both of which don’t work with me), and I want (and give) acts of service (which he could care less about!). It’s a challenge for us to give what the other wants, rather than what each of us would prefer. Always good to keep in mind.
Thanks for the post!
Agreed. To tell someone they’re wrong for worshiping outside instead of in a church isn’t quite right. A “church” are God’s people gathered together in his name. Regardless of location.
My spiritual languages are probably song and prayer.
I step into turn and sob all through worship. It seems so uncontrollable. When we’re done worshiping, I’m through crying. Until we start back up again at the end. lol
I can’t explain it. I can be happy as a clam and still bawling my eyes out.
I wish I could memorize more scripture. But it just doesn’t click very well in my brain. I’m not very good at debating scripture either. But I can worship. And I can treat people as God would have me treat them. (or try to!)
And I love when I pray and words start popping into my head. The words just start taking over so I say them outloud. Not even really knowing what I’m saying, but it seems to be exactly what needs to be said. I stop praying when my head goes blank. Or there will be times when my head goes blank for a little bit, so I start praising God. Then more words pop into my head and I know there’s more to be prayed for.
I like prayer.