T1 does have some long term issues from his birth trauma. In the scheme of things it is so insignificant. But in my mind it was huge! I couldn’t seem to let go of the guilt and uncertainty of his future.
It was really hard when he was around 2.
His issues were apparent and we didn’t know what kind of long term effect it would have. We got a diagnosis of mild Cerebral Palsy and that was scary. Would he be able to learn to run, climb, talk, read, etc??? We had him in early intervention from 1 year old and continued for years.
He is 14 now
He reads on a college level, he hikes and mountain bikes and talks all the time. He is fine.
But when I looked at him I still saw this helpless 2 year old in my mind and felt the trapped emotions of guilt and uncertainty. Me seeing him this way was actually keeping him stuck in many ways and certainly I was stuck in some negative patterns with that. So with therapy with Pam and Emotion Code I let those trapped emotions go. I also used some positive affirmations to really chose to see him as a competent, awesome 14 year old that he is.
Our relationship is changing in a really good way since I made that shift.
Here is an amazing example. I used to hover when he had homework, especially reports. He does have dysgraphia which makes writing a challenge and I always wanted to “help.” Which wasn’t actually helpful, it caused a lot of contention. But I saw him as a helpless 2 year old, so I couldn’t really step back. Well since school started this year, I have totally stepped back. Not helping at all and guess what. He is totally rising to the occasion. He had A’s and B’s on his report card with no help from me. It is a lot less stressful around here simply because of that. 🙂
