One of my doula partner’s (she was my doula) called me the other night. We have a mutual friend who was having a baby. A. was her doula and I was the backup. A. called and was giving me an update, it was almost 11PM and mom was starting to have Pressure Waves and was out shopping and getting Taco Bell.
I said, “She needs to go home and get in bed!”
A said, “I told her she needs to rest.”
“You need to call her and tell her she needs to go home now and put on a CD and try to sleep, or at least rest if she can! Staying rested is most important!!! You need to go to bed too!”
I felt a little bad after we got off the phone. A. is a great doula and knows what she is doing.
I am all about staying rested if a birth starts at night, mom needs to stay rested, in bed if she can. She should really follow her body, if she needs to sit on a birth ball, great. But she should be resting and doesn’t need to be at the grocery store at 11 at night!
If it was the middle of the day, then going to the store is a great idea. But not in the middle of the night!
I figure if someone is paying me to help them during their birth, I need to lay it all out there. “Go to bed!” They of course can decide to do whatever they want.
I guess I doula like I mother. I am sort of a “mean mom” too. (At least my boys would say so!)
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I have had 7 babies, I labor a night many times…and I do not rest that much. I find things I need to do, I spend time at home, and have even gone to the grocery store to walk around. I am a pacer, and need something to do. I’ve made my baby’s announcement pictures (drawn and hand colored by me), made muffins, gone for walks to nearby stores, paced the house, spent time online, taken showers, and more. I think the most I sit or lie down is about 1/2 an hour each time. I just cannot rest with the contractions all that much. The nights of prodromal and false labor I do eventually sleep and am fine waking up realizing I didn’t leave for the hospital or have the baby over night. Something’s different when I am in labor and I cannot stand to rest for long. I cannot even stand a bath, I like to shower upright. The most sitting I do in labor is on the toilet (hate the birthing ball, it just is uncomfortable for me somehow, I pop up and walk immediately). It may be for most women normal to try to rest, not for me. I just gotta move.
Oh and I HATE the bed most times. I think my baby has decels when I’m lying down, at least usually that’s the case when I’m monitored. I prefer upright any day.
You are so not mean!!! I did not to be at the grocery store. I knew I should be trying to do what I usually do at 11:00 PM – sleeping and resting up for the “aisle walking” time I was afforded at the hospital while my cervix caught up with my intense pressure waves and finally convinced the L&D nurses I was serious about having a baby that morning.
As a matter of fact – I should be sleeping now while baby muffin is asleep, another thing I am certain you would assert with the perfect loving firmness!
Love to you, t
Thanks! You are right, go sleep! 🙂
I agree, I really try to follow the moms cues. Some moms can not rest during their birth. 🙂 In this case I was friends with the birthing mom… we are all friends (doula, mom and I) so I was just making sure A. really emphasized to the mom she should try to rest. She was still in her early birthing time.