I am so excited to welcome Morgan to our podcast today.
I’m going to do a quick introduction and then we’ll get started. So Morgan has been married to her wonderful husband for over five years and she has three kids under the age of three.
She has twin girls and a little boy. And some of their favorite things to do as a family is to go on hikes and have movie nights and she works as a financial analyst and specializes in tech. She also loves running and organizing. And I imagine you get a lot of running in chasing your little girls .
3 kids under 3!
I think the first I heard about everything was when you sent me lots of documentation and so I think some of your essays about c-section deliveries and how to gain a little bit more control as, the mother in those situations and,what to expect. And I love those and of ate those up.
And so that I think would be my introduction to your podcast and some of your writings. Okay.
Awesome. I know, I remember when I was first talking to you, had said you had a cesarean with your twins. Do you wanna tell anything about that birth and then, what led up to your second birth?
Cesarean for twin girls
so I had twin little girls and one of them was breech and so I had a planned C-section. I knew it was gonna happen for months in advance. if you knew me really well, I am very planned. And so that took I think, a lot of the stress out of giving birth cuz I knew the day, I knew the time. and I knew what to expect to an extent.
and so I feel very lucky and fortunate with that. Cause I know a lot of women, Have emergency C-sections. And I think that would be really traumatic. And so I, and I also think sometimes people have a hard time when they have a choice, maybe you should go to cesarean cuz there’s these risks, but you could try vaginal.
And so I loved that. I was just told exactly what I need to do. and the c-section went really smoothly. I’ve never had a surgery before, That was really scary for me going into it. But we had really inspired doctors and my husband by my side and so I just feel really fortunate about that delivery.
adjusting to having twins
Twins run in my family really strong. But my brother and sister both have twins as well. and I think twins sometimes have a, I don’t wanna say a negative connotation, but Wow, you have twins.
It’s gotta be so hard. Because typically twins deliver early. my twins were both eight pounds. They, both were as full term as you can go with twins. And so our experience was a little bit different in that aspect. Because they were sleeping through the night really quickly and weren’t fussy at all.
Cuz they, we had that added benefit of the full term. Which I know was not exactly like my siblings experiences. And I think the Lord just took it easy on me cuz he knows I have no idea what I’m doing, . And but it was definitely an adjustment like just going for me and Adam. Almost, I wanna say almost four years to almost three years to having two little babies that just sucked up all our time and our energy.
It was a huge transition.
Yeah. Yeah, I bet. All right, so let’s jump ahead to when you were expecting again, and, I don’t know, just your experiences with that, and then with your next birth.
2nd Birth – a Repeat Cesarean – but being informed made it better
Yeah, so we took a long time to get pregnant with our twins and so we were expecting a similar road, with our son, but we got pregnant really quickly actually, which is why we cut the three under three.
And pregnancy with him was very similar to the twins, which I thought it’d be easier cuz there’s only one. but, I was still, I just normal sickness throughout the pregnancy and those kind of things. This one was a little bit different to the extent that like I had the choice to try doing a vaginal or to do a C-section and so that, I think it made me grateful that I wasn’t given a choice the first time, cuz it, it was hard to decide and hard to know what to do.
I think motherhood, was a lot different than I was expecting. I don’t think anyone would describe me as like a nurturer that just has never been quite in my nature.
2 weeks after birth is such a sacred time
And so I was really scared to start a family. . and that fear lingered throughout my whole pregnancies, both pregnancies and as well as, during delivery and in the hospital. But there’s something, about taking a newborn home. it just makes your home a super sacred place for weeks and I don’t know if it’s just cuz they’re so fresh from heaven or they’re just so perfect and innocent.
but I think one of the most spiritual experiences of my life was the two weeks after bringing home the twins and my son.
That’s really beautiful. And I think you’re right. The veil is so thin for them. And then in turn for us, when we have these perfect little beings that are New and fresh and yet so old and wise.
That’s really well said. Yeah. And I also feel like after bringing them home, a lot of the fears went away cuz I realized how like natural it is for me to take care of them and nurture them. And I just feel like that has to be divine at that point because it’s not in my typical nature to be that way, but yet with my kids, it is.
If that makes sense.
It’s almost like a spiritual gift that wasn’t awakened until you brought your babies home.
That’s Yeah well said, Sheridan.
In what ways was your second birth different than your first, or was it really similar?
It was similar in a lot of ways. But I would say that your, article, Creating a Sacred Cesarean really opened my eyes to just like still having control and making it a little bit more sacred. Cuz I think, at least when I pictured giving birth, like I don’t, I never really pictured it on an operating table, right?
as much as I feel super grateful. That I was able to deliver three healthy babies, and I’m so pro cesarean and I would do it again. It’s still not quite what I had pictured, and so I felt really enlightened by your article, and I felt like it helped me regain some control. I didn’t know I had.
So, for example, with the twins, I really wanted to do skin on skin. but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure if I could. So I voiced that to the doctor, and they said, Okay, we’ll try to do it. And it didn’t end up happening. And looking back, there’s not really a reason why it didn’t, like, why it shouldn’t have happened.
They were super healthy. I was in a really stable state. But for one reason or another, it just didn’t happen. And so after reading your article, I was like, Adam, like this is something I think that we should be more assertive for because like I have a right to it. Like I’m entitled to it. It’s not really up to the doctors.
And so that was, I think the biggest difference is my husband and I came in to the cesarean saying, Hey, the mom wants chest on chest. If nothing’s life threatening, if everyone’s healthy, like this needs to be. Taken as a priority. And sure enough, after delivery, my husband saw them trying to like, wrap him in a blanket and he was like, No, no, no, no, no.
my, my wife wants to hold him. And I don’t know if I would’ve realized that control that we had without having read that. And I also feel like a lot of the meditation beforehand and getting into a really spiritual mindset, like we prayed before the surgery, which we hadn’t done last time, did make it.
Maybe not what I pictured giving birth was, five or six years ago. but I think the feeling, that same feeling was there in the operating room.
Okay. If you could give advice to a young woman just starting out her mothering journey, what would it be?
I feel like that’s me, . I need some of your.
Letting Go of Expectations
I honestly would say, I just feel like as women, we have a lot of expectations. Whether like we put those on ourselves or society puts ’em on us. but I would just say not to have expectations and that every child is different and every experience is different. and how you choose to handle things or how things work out, is perfect for you and for your kids.
I think that’s great. and very valid and works even when they’re teenagers, right? Like it’s a very good perspective to have. Not always easy to apply, but ideally to do .
I. Yep. I feel like application of anything is always so much harder than just saying it.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, thank you so much for being here today and sharing your experience with us. I really appreciate.
Absolutely Sheridan. Thanks for having me.