I was watching a birth video and it gave a warning that it was going to show a cesarean. “Turn off now if you don’t want to see a graphic cesarean”
Well, I was curious so I watched. It wasn’t pretty, it was graphic and it made me hurt to watch it. I felt it physically and emotionally.
T2 was watching me watch the video (he didn’t see the video at all). Just by watching me watch it he felt sad and scared and afterward asked me to release some emotions he had taken on from watching me watch.
It brought home to me how sensitive he is and I am actually very similar. I FEEL what others are feeling, unless I use my bubble of peace to protect myself. (Bubble of Peace is a Hypnobabies tool)
As birth workers we need to have a strong bubble of peace or some type of protection so we can support others in their feelings and experiences without taking them on as our own.
How many of you have taken on your clients emotions during a birth?
What tools do you use to keep this from happening? Or do you not find it to be a problem?
I have to coach myself through parts of birth, sometimes, reminding myself that it is their experience, not mine. I’m getting better at separating myself without removing my support. It is a tricky line to walk, though!
Now if only I could do as well at home…I often find myself taking on my husband’s emotions (sometimes before he even knows he’s feeling them!) and boy is that unhelpful! ;P
That is actually one of my reasons for not being a doula. I teach Hypnobabies and it is hard enough for me to sometimes distance myself from my student’s experiences, even if the experience may have been the right thing in the moment. I don’t know that I could compartmentalize myself enough and I love my Bubble of Peace, but it would need to be super strong in some cases (more when I attend ICAN meetings than stories that I hear from my own students.)
I’ve very thankful that there are women out there that are able to do this kind of work and not make the emotions their own.
My cousin (in-law) told me that she uses Frankincense oil when she is releasing emotions and it helps. I don’t have any experience with it, but thought I’d share. 🙂