I read the most amazing birth story at The Gift of Giving Life blog. (I love her blog btw) The mom had a normal, uncomfortable birth with her first. When she was pregnant with her second she went to a retreat where she had time to reflect on her fears of life and birth and really work through them. She got to a place where she decided to welcome any experience.
and then I meditated on each of them by actually opening up to the idea that I would be willing to experience those things, if it did in fact become “my turn” to experience them.
She shared this thought, which I REALLY LOVE!
The Buddists say that pain is inevitable – but suffering is a painful feeling about pain. Pain is simply a sensation, but suffering comes from thinking that what is, shouldn’t be.
She came to this realization:
In my attempt to avoid the fear and pain and discomfort that comes with mortality, I couldn’t help but see how I drew it nearer to me and caused more pain. In this new awareness I found myself saying, “Yes, I AM willing. I Am. So be it.” My heart burst wide open and all those fears just slipped away as I said YES to all of life.
So what does this have to do with birth?
It was in this state of mind- this intense willingness to feel what it feels like to be alive – to intently receive EVERYTHING that life has to offer me – that I gave birth to our second son. I was totally, completely willing to experience birth fully, unlike I had ever done before.
Did letting go of her fear make a difference?
Wow, I think I found a favorite new blog (I happen to be LDS as well and hoping to get pregnant so I can have a december homebirth). Thanks for sharing!
I love the quote about “The Buddhists say…” I am currently preparing for a hypnobabies birth and the one thing that has bothered me is the inability to call what I am experiencing, “pain.” I’ve found that pain can be very constructive if you are focusing on it as a tool of growth and personal transformation- and also a necessary part of growth and transformation. I imagine that changing from a caterpillar to a butterfly is not the most pleasant experience for the insect.
But pain does NOT have to be and equivalent term for suffering. That’s why I know I don’t need (or want!) drugs to get through childbirth.
Have fun TTC!
It is all about perception, isn’t it? The great thing about Hypnobabies is you can make it individualized. So if the word pain doesn’t bother you, then feel free to use it.
Great post, Sheridan–I am truly inspired by your blog!!