It was a major milestone for me when Thing 1 turned ten. I found myself very reflective about his birth and how it effected me and him.
Thing 2 turned ten yesterday and it was just a fun celebration. I was thinking about that and wondered why his birth wasn’t really in my thoughts at all. I took a few minutes to reflect and this is what I came up with.
His birth was “normal”
nothing scary or magical happened (other then him being born of course!)
These are some key things I remember about his birth.
- I enjoyed the beginning when Rob and I were a really good team.
- I was comfortable and enjoying my birthing time. The nurses kept telling me that “It will really hurt when your water breaks.”
- I got “stuck” at a 7. (“stuck” per the nurses)
- After an hour or so stuck at 7, I agreed to have my water broken.
- Things started to hurt. (What a shock after being told that it would start hurting over and over)
- I mentally decided if I was still at a 7 the next time they checked, I wanted the epidural.
- I was still a 7 and got the epidural (after being offered and getting demerol because the anesthesiologist was busy and I had to wait for the epidural)
- After the epidural I felt very disconnected to everything. It was like I didn’t even need to be there. Rob and I were not a team anymore. He was chatting with the nurse and I was just laying there.
- I really liked my nurse and felt like we really bonded.
- I pushed for almost 3 hours.
- Thing 2 was born about 1 AM and was over 9 pounds.
- I was tired and hungry.
- But I was thrilled I had my VBAC.
- In the morning I wanted to see my nurse and there was a new one, the other one never said Good Bye.
- I was sad that I would never see the other nurse again. (A great reason to have a doula, you experience this life change with someone and then never see them again, it was another disconnect with his birth. Maybe if I could have reflected with the nurse after it would have made things more real for me?)
I am fine with how things went.
I would like to emphasize, that I was/am actually pretty happy with how things went. Thing 2 was healthy and all was well. I had my VBAC.
But the experience of his birth itself remains very neutral in my mind and emotions. It was so much better then Thing 1’s birth, so I was fine with how things went. But I felt very disconnected from the process once I got the demerol and epidural.
Molly at Talk Birth had a post last week about the Flow of Childbirth and it helped me see why his birth wasn’t so memorable.
I wrote about how I felt about the differences in my 3 Things Births in Birth is a Journey: Does it have to be life changing?
If you simplify different birth experiences I think they could fall into these 3 categories.
- a traumatic journey
- a normal journey
- a magical journey
Wonderful post! I can relate to you about the different feelings regarding each birth experience. I particularly love what you added at the end with the 3 categories, and I hope you don’t mind if I share it 🙂
Very interesting! I like your three categories at the end.
Happy birthday to Thing 2!