I think this can be something that really makes or breaks a birth experience. Having an informed, supportive birth partner is so helpful for you to stay focused and believe in your ability to birth her baby the way you want to!
Often the Dad is a great choice for this role. Most dads want to be there when their baby is born and want to offer this kind of support for you. It is a giant responsibility and can be stressful for dad. Since they usually have very little birthing experience they may often not know what to expect. Often faltering in their ability to support mom in the most crucial moments (transition) I have had 2 students who have said, if I had a doula I wouldn’t have gotten that epidural (these were moms who didn’t wnat an epidural, but during transition they got nervous and the Dads picked up on their nerves and said, “Get the epidural.” If I had been their to calm DAD down, that would have helped Mom stay calm too.
This is why it is nice to have an additional support person. Having one extra person who knows what you want and who will also be with you throughout your birthing experience can help support both you and the Dad. You might want to choose another woman to join your birthing team, maybe your mom or sister or friend. Just think hard about their personality and if they will be supportive of what YOU want.
Another option is to hire a doula. This is a woman who is trained to do birth support. We know different comfort techniques. We know about normal birth and the pros and cons of different interventions. We can’t tell you what to do, but we can remind you of your choices and support you in what YOU want.
Sometimes Dads worry a doula will replace them. Here is a great link to help them reassure them that isn’t true. Do Doulas Replace Dads?
For Hypnobabies moms, having a doula who understands and supports hypno-moms is important. Some doulas find it hard to believe that moms can be comfortable throughout birth and will accidently undermine them with words and actions. A trained hypno-doula knows moms CAN be comfortable through birth with hypnosis and know the post hypnotic cues they can use to help mom stay focused and comfortable. If you don’t have a hypno-doula in your area, here is a link with suggestions on how to find a doula who can support you.
What about Single Moms who can’t afford a doula and don’t have a birth partner?
First off, see if you can find a doula in training, they often attend their first few births for free. You may also want to explain your situation to other doulas, they may be able to lower their prices for you.
Hypnobabies may be a great option. It is set up in a manner that can be used very easily for Single Moms. There are CDs that you listen to during pregnancy that help you learn and solidify your hypnosis tools. Then there are 3 CD tracks especially for your birthing day. You will have Kerry’s voice talking you through your whole birthing time. A Birth Partner in your ears, guiding you along the way!
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