I just shared a potentially scary story about how my first baby’s life was in jeopardy in utero, but doing kick counts saved his life. I don’t want you to be scared or full of fear about my experience.
I love what Gavin De Becker says about fear:
“Worry is the fear we manufacture; it is a choice. Conversely, true fear is involuntary; it will come and get our attention if necessary. But, if a parent or a child feels fear constantly, there is no signal left for when it’s really needed. Thus, the parent who chooses to worry all the time or who invests unwarranted fears into children is actually making them less safe. Worry is not a precaution; it is the opposite because it delays and discourages constructive action.”
Worrying can block Warnings
Expectant parents can think of a lot of things to worry about, but by choosing to worry about everything, they may inadvertently block the true fear that can actually warn them if something is really wrong. If you are worrying about something, stop and be quiet and examine what you are worrying about and why.
“True fears and unwarranted fears may at times feel the same, but you can tell them apart. True fear is a gift that signals us in the presence of danger; thus, it will be based upon something you perceive in your environment or your circumstance. Unwarranted fear or worry will always be based upon something in your imagination or your memory.”
In my situation there was something in my circumstances—the baby not moving—that alerted me to the situation. Contrast that with my experience during my subsequent pregnancies. I could have worried continually this would happen with those pregnancies as well. I would be lying if I said I didn’t worry at all, but I tried hard to remember this was a new pregnancy, a new baby and a new birth. I tried to focus on the fact that as long as the baby was active, he was fine. I knew that worrying about it wouldn’t help. Of course I was very aware of how often the baby moved. One time the baby was a lot less active, but instead of worrying more, I took action, went in to get things checked out and discovered he was fine.
Letting go of worries is not always easy, especially if we are the type of person who tends towards that type of thinking. Here is a link with some more ideas about worrying and parenting.
Another tool I love about Hypnobabies, is they have a fear clearing CD which helps moms let go of their fears.
