This is part of my blog series about what I discovered about how my birth trauma with T1 left many trapped emotions in my body, which had a big effect on how I was mothering. I was able to release them with awesome massage “therapy”, another great tool is the The Emotion Code
At my very first appointment, the first issue that came up was
Fear of Loss
2 incidents in my young childhood had given me this strong fear. A close family friend had 2 of her children die. One was hit by a car while riding on her bike. The other died after a long illness.
This experience as a young child has cast a long shadow on my mothering.
To give you an example: T1 is 13 and this was the first summer I let him ride his bike around our neighborhood by himself. He is 13. I had no concious idea of why I was so scared to let him do that. But a good cry on the massage table after figuring it out and he was free on his bike this summer and I was never nervous at all.
Our subconcious mind is SO POWERFUL!!!!
My Birth Trauma Intensified this Fear of Loss
I have always been much more guarded with T1 then the other boys. In this session I discovered it was because that morning when I noticed he wasn’t moving in the womb, I already thought I had lost him. I was SO SCARED. That fear lingered through my mothering of him. Until I let it go on Pam’s amazing massage table.
It was amazing that once I made that connection and worked that fear of loss out of my body how I felt lighter and wasn’t scared anymore!