At my very first appointment, with Pam, the first issue that came up was
Fear of Loss
2 incidents in my young childhood had given me this strong fear of losing a child. A close family friend had 2 of her children die. One was hit by a car while riding on her bike. The other died after a long illness. These happened when I was 3 and 5 years old and I held those emotions deep in my body and wasn’t really aware of it.
This experience as a young child has cast a long shadow on my mothering.
To give you an example: T1 is 13 and this was the first summer I let him ride his bike around our neighborhood by himself. He is 13. I had no conscious idea of why I was so scared to let him do that. But a good cry on the massage table after remembering my neighbors child being hit by a car and dying when I was little, helped me to understand why I was so nervous about him riding his bike.
Once I realized it and cleared emotions from that experience, Devon was free on his bike this summer, having a blast and I was never nervous at all.
Our subconscious mind is SO POWERFUL!!!!
My Birth Trauma Intensified this Fear of Loss
I have always been much more guarded with Devon then the other boys. In this session I discovered it was because that morning when I noticed he wasn’t moving in the womb, I already thought I had lost him. I was SO SCARED. That fear lingered through my mothering of him. Until I let it go on Pam’s amazing massage table.
It was amazing that once I made that connection and worked that fear of loss out of my body how I felt lighter and wasn’t scared anymore!