Birth Trauma Added to my Fear of Loss

At my very first appointment, with Pam, the first issue that came up was

Fear of Loss

2 incidents in my young childhood had given me this strong fear of losing a child. A close family friend had 2 of her children die.  One was hit by a car while riding on her bike.  The other died after a long illness.  These happened when I was 3 and 5 years old and I held those emotions deep in my body and wasn’t really aware of it.

This experience as a young child has cast a long shadow on my mothering.

To give you an example:  T1 is 13 and this was the first summer I let him ride his bike around our neighborhood by himself.  He is 13.  I had no conscious idea of why I was so scared to let him do that.  But a good cry on the massage table after remembering my neighbors child being hit by a car and dying when I was little, helped me to understand why I was so nervous about him riding his bike.

Once I realized it and cleared emotions from that experience, Devon was free on his bike this summer, having a blast and I was never nervous at all.

Our subconscious mind is SO POWERFUL!!!!

My Birth Trauma Intensified this Fear of Loss

I have always been much more guarded with Devon then the other boys.  In this session I discovered it was because that morning when I noticed he wasn’t moving in the womb, I already thought I had lost him.  I was SO SCARED.  That fear lingered through my mothering of him.  Until I let it go on Pam’s amazing massage table.

It was amazing that once I made that connection and worked that fear of loss out of my body how I felt lighter and wasn’t scared anymore!


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2 thoughts on “Birth Trauma Added to my Fear of Loss”

  1. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the same can be said about birth trauma. What is traumatic for you, may not be for me. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t trauma, all the same. The Birth Trauma Association says that

    “some women experience events during childbirth (as well as in pregnancy or immediately after birth) that would traumatise any normal person. For other women, it is not always the sensational or dramatic events that trigger childbirth trauma but other factors such as loss of control, loss of dignity, the hostile or difficult attitudes of the people around them, feelings of not being heard or the absence of informed consent to medical procedures.”

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