Birth Trauma Left Me Feeling Disconnected

This is part of my blog series about what I discovered about how my birth trauma with T1 left many trapped emotions in my body, which had a big effect on how I was mothering.  I was able to release them with awesome massage “therapy”, another great tool is the The Emotion Code

In my second session with Pam I discovered that I felt very disconnected to my family.  One reason why I loved being pregnant and breastfeeding is I was CONNECTED literally and that was so fulfilling.  It helped me feel connected emotionally too.

Sudden and Forced Disconnection from Emergency Cesarean

I discovered that this started with – not surprisingly – the birth if T1.  I felt that he had been ripped from my body and I was so suddenly and unexpectedly disconnected from him.

Then during T2’s birth I felt SO connected to Rob and T2, until I got Demerol and an epidural.   I think one reason I had PPD after T2, was that sudden disconnection again. Breastfeeding helped me stay connected with him, but I was completely disconnected with T1 and DH during that postpartum period.

So with T3’s birth I really wanted to go all natural to have that immensely connecting experience.  I did and it was great.  I stayed connected with T3 for hours after his birth and the transition to separation was smoother.

So in the weeks after that session I really worked on connecting with my family.  I don’t have to be physically connected with them to be emotionally connected!

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2 thoughts on “Birth Trauma Left Me Feeling Disconnected”

  1. Thank you for your posts on birth trauma. I got really traumatized by my birth experiences (largely due to csa background and the triggering effect of all those interventions they do at the hospital) and reading your posts, I think the immediate move of my first born to the NICU (unnecessarily, there was no medical indication at that point, my child was diagnosed with a cardiac rhabdomyoma during my pregnancy but the fetal cardiologist who closely monitored the heart/baby during my pregnancy came to the conclusion that there would only be outpatient tests be needed weeks after delivery).
    There was separation immediately after birth with my second child as well and worries for both of our lives which did not help either.

  2. Sorry you had trauma with your birth experience. Definitely being separated from your baby right after birth is traumatic in many ways, especially when you are worried about how they are doing!

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