Let’s face it some moms don’t want a vaginal birth and that is OK. Some moms do, but are not willing or able to put the effort into it. Because we know in some cases it does take a lot of extra work or time.
I have a great group of friends at church. Many of us have had VBAC’s. It is kind of cool to hang out and talk about things. We had 3 friends in this group who had primary cesareans and were expecting their 2nd babies. At first they were all planning on having a repeat cesarean.
The first had NO interest in having a VBAC. I talked to her about it and tried to share some information. Finally she said, “Sheridan I have no desire to have a vaginal birth. I know for you it is important. It isn’t for me. I really was fine with my cesarean and I like being able to schedule this birth.” Well, that put me in my place. I was grateful for her honesty and I am sure she was grateful I stopped talking to her about having a VBAC. J
The second friend was somewhat interested in a VBAC after talking to all of us who had VBACs. Her OB was supportive of a VBAC, I lent her some books, answered questions… etc. She ended up planning on having a VBAC, but as the birth drew near, her mom could only come for a certain week, so she chose to have a repeat cesarean. I admit I was disappointed at first, it was hard for me to understand that. But then I reminded myself it was her choice and it wasn’t worth it to her to put the extra effort into having a VBAC. That is OK, I needed to accept that.
The 3rd also was interested in a VBAC after hearing our experiences. She had a supportive OB and was VERY dedicated to having a VBAC. I started teaching Hypnobabies when she was pregnant and she was in my first class, strictly because I made her take it. J She ended up having a wonderful VBAC!
So in all 3 of these cases, I shared information and support. 1 out of 3 had a VBAC, but 3 out of 3 remained my friends. I learned about the importance of having choices, accepting others choices and still offering support if I didn’t completely understand their decisions.
Last related post: What can we do to change the system?