After you give birth you will get this little squirt Peri-bottle. If you are at a hospital you get it “free”, if you have a homebirth you probably have one in your birth kit.
Great for cleaning your perineum after using the bathroom.
Well, I found something even better, that I have been using all the time, not just after having a baby. (My baby is almost 12!) It is a Travel Bidet.
What makes is so great? It has the long nozzle so you can easily reach all your parts. It has a little air lock on the bottom you can cover with your finger so water doesn’t come out when you don’t want it to.
All I have to say is I have it sitting next to my toilet all the time, ready to be used as needed.
Along with my Squatty Potty,
I would say it is a much needed supply for toileting. After baby and throughout life!
It may be my newest baby shower gift I give. Along with a copy of The Gift of Giving Life! 😉
I love doing group clearings. It is a way to help a lot of people all at once!
When I was preparing to teach my Clearing Negative Birth Experiences Class (Which you can listen to here.) I realized I wanted to do a Birth Group Clearing.
I would love for you to join in! It will be very similar to a visualization, where you get in a relaxed position and listen.
I am holding a free Birth Clearing Class this Thursday. I would love for you to join.
Click here to sign up.
I want to Enjoy Birth, but a past negative birth experience is making it hard to trust that it is possible.
I often have moms who are pregnant and nervous about their upcoming births, because of past negative birth experiences. I love working with them, because with energy work we can quickly and easily see a shift.
I have even worked with moms that want to have another child, but are having such a hard time moving past their birth that they don’t want to get pregnant. They are really stuck.
I remember being scared to have another baby after my first birth, which was traumatic for my son and I. I had to really dig deep to be brave enough to get pregnant. I was so worried the pregnancy and birth would be a repeat of the first experience. Even though I logically knew that probably wouldn’t happen, the fear was there.
Once I was actually pregnant, then I had to face the birth. I searched out tools to help me move past the fear. At the time I used hypnosis to help me shift. I think that is a powerful tool. I still suggest moms use hypnosis. Since birthing that baby (T3), I discovered energy work, which works faster and is an easier tool to help clear negative experiences. Now, I also use Energy Work to help moms release their negative experiences and get into a grounded more positive space about an upcoming birth.
If you are interested in learning more about energy work and how it can help you move past a negative birth experience, I am having a free online class to share more about how energy work can help you!
You will learn what energy work is. I will teach you some simple tools you can use on yourself and I will also take a volunteer or two and do a birth clearing demonstration during the class.
Please click here to sign up!
Birth is one of those things that is very fluid. Even if we prepare as much as possible, things sometimes come up which can make birth not so enjoyable. This can sometimes make it hard to let go and move past the birth experience.
Is there an easy way to move past a birth experience and shift to a more positive outlook on what happened?
This was a question I often asked myself. I had as I spent years trying to move past my first birth, which was traumatic for me and my son. He was a very angry little boy and I just kept feeling that it stemmed from his birth. I also was in a lot of fear of losing him from the birth and so I mothered him in a very controlling way. Which created this interesting cycle and it wasn’t very healthy.
I went to traditional therapy, but the therapist didn’t really understand what the problem was and after 2 or 3 sessions I realized it wasn’t going to help. I got therapy for him and it didn’t seem to help either.
I kept praying and searching. There had to be a way to shift, there had to be a way to move past that experience.
Finally, when T1 was 8 years old the answer came.
It was at a class where someone was teaching about Energy Work, which I had never heard of before, what she taught was intriguing and when she asked for a volunteer, my hand shot up so fast! I was SO excited when she picked me. She did some releasing of emotions and other things. (I can’t remember exactly what.)
I did feel a little lighter when she was done, but I wasn’t sure if it would really make a difference. But, when I went home, T1 was different and so was I. That got me very intrigued. I started learning more and more about energy work. I read books and took classes. I started doing it on me and my son and eventually friends and now clients.
I feel like Energy Work was the key to help me have a much healthier relationship with T1 and with myself!! I can now look back on his birth with neutral emotions, even gratitude for parts. He is a well adjusted, happy 19 year old, which is great to see.
I love working with moms and their kids who want to move past a birth experience.
It fits so well with my experiences supporting moms through pregnancy and birth. It is such a joy to be able help them in shifting to neutrality and often even up to positive emotions.
If you are interested in learning how to clear a negative birth experience, I am having a free class on August 17th to share more about energy work and how it can help.
I will also take a volunteer or two and do a demonstration during the class.
Please click here to sign up!
I was asked to do a review on the book Second Chance a mother’s experiences of 2 births. Her first was a hospital planned vaginal birth turned to cesarean and the book included her quest to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). As a VBAC mom myself I of course was interested in her experiences.
I loved the way the book was written, with flashbacks to different points in her life. From childhood experiences to her first birth. I also appreciated that her second birth, while she was successful in her home VBAC, she needed a hospital transfer for a placenta issue. I love how she was able to handle that with grace. It showed that emergencies can be handled well with homebirths.
Help for Moms Struggling with Birth Trauma
I work with moms struggling with birth trauma. It is one of my favorite things to do, because the pain from birth trauma is often misunderstood. I love being able to talk with the moms and do emotional clearing for them. While reading Second Chance, I really wanted to be able to sit down with Thais and let her know that all she was feeling was normal and offer her some energy clearing to help her shift to a better place.
I was really happy when she found some support for her journey to healing. It is common for people to have to search out those experienced with birth trauma to find healing, as it isn’t often recognized or understood by many. As happened with her first experience with a therapist in trying to get help.
I really enjoyed reading Second Chance. It was well written and the story was good showing the many different aspects a mother may face in her quest for a VBAC. I appreciate that Thais was willing to open her heart and share her journey with us.
Give Away –
Leave a comment why you want to win the book and I will pick a winner on May 30th!
I was excited to try the ZenBand because I had a similar product that had recently accidentally gone through the washing machine with the bed sheets and had bit the dust. So I was thrilled to be able to try the ZenBand. (They were kind enough to send me one for free, so I could try it and write a review.)
I use sleep headphones when listening to hypnosis scripts at night while falling asleep, or in the middle of the night if I wake up and can’t fall back asleep.
I really enjoyed the ZenBand.
- The first thing I noticed was that it was comfortable. The seams are very small flat and are not noticeable when laying down. 🙂
- Also the sizing was nice, tight enough to stay in place, but not too tight. 🙂
- It can double as an eye mask. 🙂
- The sound quality was good. 🙂
- The ear pieces do move around quite easily within the bands. This can be good, because it is easy to get them in just the right place you want them on your ears. Which is great when I am awake and about to go to sleep. 🙂 However, in the middle of the night, it is challenging, because I am half asleep and it is harder to get them situated and since they move so easily they don’t stay in place from when I took them off in my sleep after originally falling asleep.
- The only other observation is that the headphone pieces are not as flat as the other brand I had, which makes it potentially not as comfortable if you are lying on your side. However, for me I like to listen on my back, so the ZenBand works well for me.
If you are using a hypnosis for childbirth program, sleep headphone bands like this are a great tool. You can get ZenBands here.
T3 is enjoying his week at Galileo Camp. He keeps asking me to sign him up for another one. He is especially interested in the Olympic week, obviously because the “real” Olympics are coming.
The week he signed up for is Toys and he has been having fun creating toys throughout this week. He is really excited to show me the pinball machine he is making.
There is still time for you to sign up your kids for Galileo camp. I love that it goes from 9-3 and you can add early drop off or late drop off. We usually do half day camps, so at first I thought the price was a bit steep, but once I realized it was ALL day it made sense. Also they still have a coupon for refer a friend and you can each save $100 if you both sign up.
Here is the pinball machine! Somehow when I edited the video the audio got messed up.
Here is the day of his birth.. sorry it is so long!
May 19th, Monday morning at 5am on the dot, I was waken up by some real strong pressure waves. I had been waking up at this time for the last few weeks, even though the alarm is always set for 7:00am so I didn’t think too much of it. I tried to close my eyes and go back to sleep but they were too strong. I decided to quietly jump in my huge tub and soak to try to get on top of them. I did some deep visualization and meditation for an hour. I didn’t take a watch with me but counted 12 during that hour with them only lasting about 30 seconds each. I decided to get out, head to the computer and use an on line timer. For some odd reason, none of them would work for me! I grabbed Dh’s PDA and started timing my pressure waves, I was so thankful he downloaded it and I knew how to use it. I was replying to a few emails and reading on my cloth diaper site when I happened to come across someone asking about hypnobabies home study course. I read a lil success story (sorry I can’t remember the name of the mama that wrote it) and remember breaking down into tears! It was so emotional and just gave me so much hope! I remember replying and thanking her. This was at about 6:30am.
I just had this weird “today is the day” feeling so I called my mom and told her I think we will have a baby today.. I thought she was getting tired of my false alarms as she told me to call her back at 8:00am. LOL. I got my hunny up a few minutes before the alarm went off just to talk to him. Got my boys up and told them that I think their brother would be born today. I went and jumped in the shower to try to relax a lil more as I was so nervous and overly excited, or more like just to kill time. Pressure waves were getting stronger and were about 3-5 minutes apart but were lasting 1-2 minutes. I found myself stopping what I was doing at the time and just closing my eyes and telling my body to open, open, open. That was when I guess I knew we had better head to the hospital. Dh took the boys to school as usual while I got dressed. It was then when I noticed a lil bloody show. I called my sister at 7:30am and told her that I wasn’t waiting until 8am to call mom and asked if she would make sure the boys were taken care of after school. Dh got back and was taking his time.. I think too many false alarms for him to take me seriously as well. I asked if he was was ready and he said, well.. no, I have an appointment at 10am. I told him I think we had better head in. I told him we were having this baby today, I can remember saying that there was no way I could go weeks of these type of pressure waves so something HAD to happen today!
I had no clue how far along I was or if these pressure waves were even doing anything so I was in the mind set of we are having this baby, even if she has to induce me today! I can laugh at all this now. Pressure waves were coming closer and I think Dh finally saw they were way different than all the other times. I called my Dr. to see if I should go to her office to see if I was even doing anything or head to labor and delivery. Her nurse told me to head to the hospital. I remember thinking.. yeah, just to be sent home again.. lol.. I am not too sure what happened next but I know it was a lil after 8am before we finally got everything loaded in the car and got on the road. I listened to my hypnobabies “Easy First Stage” cd during the car ride. I don’t remember much as I spent the whole ride with my switch in the off position.
We arrived at the hospital about 8:30am, we walked down to labor and delivery to be told that we needed to go to admit first.. by this time, my pressure waves were pretty strong and I can remember thinking to myself there is no way I am walking all the way back there.. I think I gave her a ‘are you kidding me’? look! Daddy reminded them that we had already done our pre-admit and luckily one of the nurses saved us and took us into the birthing room. The rest happened so fast it is kind of a blur to me so daddy will have to fill in where I can’t remember. I am sure I told them that I was GBS+ although I don’t think they thought I was as far dilated as I was.. of course how could they, I had no clue if this was even real! The first nurse, Dana, hooked me up to the monitors and then tried to check me. She said, alright then.
I asked how far I was and she said all she could feel were membranes. Then she called Terri in to check. She said the same thing and that they weren’t going to try any more because they weren’t ready to have the baby. I was in DUH mode and asked what that meant. I was thinking I was MAYBE 3-4cm! They said they couldn’t feel my cervix and they weren’t sure if my membranes were in front of it or if I was fully dilated..they made it sound like they thought my membranes were just infront and that we had plenty of time. I think that is why they didn’t get me hooked up to the IV.. they just sat there talking and watching the monitors. I reminded them again about being GBS+. About that time they actually heard me! Dana was trying to hook me up to the IV when my Dr got there.
She checked me and this is where I let my fear take hold of me. I heard her tell the other nurses to call surgery and have them on stand by. About that time, Daddy walked in and heard that, I was focusing and don’t remember were he went. I guess there was a TON of water below the baby’s head. Enough that the cord could slip down and come first. They sat me up so that gravity would do it’s thing and we crossed our fingers that his head would beat the cord first. I fought through the urge to push for what felt like forever..thinking back, I think I had the urge when I first got there and all it did was grow stronger. I think if I would have just relaxed and pushed, my fear wouldn’t have taken over me as much as it did. I started asking, no begging for something to take the edge off, although I didn’t need anything for pain, I was having trouble relaxing. I was scared to see which would come first.. the cord or my baby’s head.
About that time, my water broke. I guess my body was pushing and I didn’t even know as I was hugging my birthing ball and trying to stay focused. They rushed me to lay down to see what happened and I can remember my Dr saying there is a bunch of hair! Dh actually looked which he said he didn’t want to. My focus was on him at this time although he had no clue I was even listening! I remember the
nurses were so loud, not that we even had time to get our birthing plan out, let alone have them read over it. I guess I asked them to “PLEASE be quite”! As much as I was trying to not push my body started anyway. Daddy kept giving me progress reports during my pushing. After three pushes, at 9:38am we were both looking at our baby Caden! Both Daddy and I just looked at each other and talked about how tiny he looked! He looked soo purple! The Dr. had to explain it to us that when my water broke, his head was slammed hard down the canal causing his face to be bruised.
My Dr. let the cord stop pulsing and Daddy cut the cord. I was so happy she stuck with my birthing plan even after giving me a hard time about having a 20 page plan as I was in such a daze I wouldn’t have remembered anything at that moment! We spent time all bonding and just staring at what we thought was our tiny lil joy. When he was finally weighed and measured, he was perfect! 7 pound 11.8 ounce 19 inches long.. 10 fingers and 10 toes. Black wavy hair just like Daddy’s! The worst part about everything was I wouldn’t let Dh leave my side.. therefore, the camera was still in the car! That and I didn’t get time to make brownies!
Thank you for reading, Lisa
After the birth I had the nurse say to me that she was honored to be able to attend me during my birth, Brie’s birth was what a natural birth should be like
This was my fourth pregnancy and my first real attempt to have a natural birth.
Seven years ago with my first baby I thought I would go “as long as possible” without an epidural. This of course set me up to fail. I had no idea what I was going to do or what to expect. This first pregnancy ended with my water breaking spontaneously and contractions starting immediately with an intensity that really surprised me and that I wanted to stop. I got to the Women’s Center and was told that I had pre-eclampsia, was given a narcotic to get me through the ambulance ride to the larger hospital in the area and was then given Magnesium sulfate and then Pitocin and an epidural. I remember very little of that birth. 12 hours of labor and about 15 minutes pushing.
My second birth was induced the day after Christmas at the added urging of my husband to be able to have the tax deduction and had an epidural just after my water broke. It was very relaxed and there were no complications. 10 hours of labor and 10 minutes of pushing.
My third birth was also induced after reaching a point of tiredness and exhaustion and just wanting to be done. I was placed on Pitocin and had an epidural timed for when my water broke. This labor was 8 hours and about 5-10 minutes of pushing. It probably would have been faster but I was told to try and wait for the doctor to show up and catch. She barely made it.
My fourth pregnancy was a surprise. My husband and I thought we were finished having children and had to change our mindset back to a newborn and all that comes with them. It was very weird for me because it became very important to me to have this baby naturally. This was not because of horror stories of previous births. My last two were very pleasant births but I knew that I wanted something different. A friend of mine had recently done HypnoBirthing for her birth and it sounded right to me. I did more research and came across Hypnobabies. It talked of everything that seemed right to me. I wanted to have a peaceful pregnancy and birth for me and my new baby.
I took the Hypnobabies course from a local instructor and really enjoyed the classes. I ended up in maintenance for about two and half months. My estimated due date was set as August 28th. At 30 weeks I was diagnosed with insulin dependent gestational diabetes. I had just recently switched from an OB to a midwife in another city and was looking at having to be transferred to their OB in the clinic. I met with him for 5 minutes and have never had a more violent reaction to someone. I knew that he would not be allowed to touch me or my baby when my birthing time came. I talked with the midwife and she knew how I felt about the OB and luckily enough they had just had a second OB join the group and he was someone who could listen to my concerns. He agreed that if an OB became necessary that he would be on call for me regardless of their rotations.
Then I was diagnosed as Group B strep positive and this changed my plans of laboring at home as long as possible. Starting at 36 weeks I was having non-stress tests twice a week and ultrasounds every other week. During my visit the day before my 39 th week the baby was measuring at 4000 grams on the ultrasound and the OB talked about the old recommendations would call for a C-section at this point for insulin dependent gestational diabetes but with the new recommendations being set at 4500 grams that would could wait longer.
I had declined internal exams up to this point knowing that it would either get my hopes up or completely dash them. But because of the “estimated” size and the hopes of doing this without the OB I agreed to have the midwife check me and I was a solid 4 cm and she could stretch me to a 5. She stripped my membranes hoping to get things started and sent me home.
I cramped all the way home and told my husband to pack everything up for us and our children just in case.
Nothing seemed to materialize that evening. I went to bed at 9 and woke up at 11:30 when my husband came to bed and couldn’t get to sleep because I was cramping pretty regularly. I probably went to the bathroom every 5-6 minutes. At 1 I finally woke my husband up and told him that we should probably consider this as it and get ourselves together. The contractions were consistent but would stop for about 10 minutes every time I got up to go anywhere. They would always start up again and so we called family to let them know that we were going to the hospital and we got the kids up and took them to my sister’s house. We got to the hospital at about 2:30. We were put in the exam room and waited. The nurse said that I was at a 4-5 cm and she called the midwife. Since I hadn’t changed since the office visit the day before the midwife wanted us to walk for two hours (from 3 to 5 am) and then get checked again.
We were in a very small hospital that has absolutely no room to walk and did our best. By the time 5 o’clock rolled around I was very mad and upset and wanted to just get our stuff out of the exam room and just go home and have my baby without them. My poor husband tried to make me laugh but almost got put in the hospital for his efforts.
Back in the exam room I measured no differently and they called the midwife. She offered to either have us go home (this really made me mad…hello, I was in labor that wasn’t going to change) or to start the antibiotics for the GBS+ now (5 o’clock) and she would come in and rupture my membranes at 7. Since she was the one I wanted delivering my baby and was only on call officially until 8, I decided to go for the antibiotics and having my water broken.
We were transferred to a labor and delivery room. We were settled in and then the nurse had to leave to help with another delivery and did not get the antibiotics started until 6:30. Up to this point the contractions have only been felt as cramps and were constant but completely bearable. My midwife and the midwife in training arrived to break my water. They checked me and while I was still a 4-5 cm the midwife said that my cervix was much more malleable and ready to go. They broke may water at 7:50. We had been in contact with my doula throughout the night and called her now to have her come up to the hospital. She lives about 3 minutes away and is the also the instructor from my Hypnobabies class.
Once my water was broken the contractions became much stronger and I had to turn my switch off for each one. They finally finished my course of antibiotics and unhooked me from the heplock and I started to move around the room. The midwives stayed in the room with me for quite a bit and talked to me between contractions. This was okay until my doula came and they watched as she and my wonderful husband helped me get through each contraction. The mood in the room changed to one of quiet and peace. My doula started talking me through each contraction while I was in the off position.
My husband would keep his hand on my shoulder helping me with the relax cue and his other hand was in mine. The doula instructed me to count down from 10 to 1 during each contraction and while I definitely felt discomfort with my contractions they were manageable. I spent most of my time laboring in the glider this gave me the most support and allowed me to relax with the least amount of intensity. Periodically the midwife would have me move to the bed to monitor the baby during a contraction. She always used the Doppler to get the baby’s heart beat and every time my baby was fine. The second or third time that they had me in the bed to check the heartbeat during a contraction the midwife leaned over the bed and whispered (everyone was whispering at this point) that she needed me to tell her when I started a contraction because she could not tell. The doula then prompted me that the next time I started a contraction to signal with my finger using the fingerdrop to show the midwife when it starts.
Whenever I was in the bed the contractions became much more intense and I always wanted out as fast as possible. I only wanted to be in the rocker but had to go into the bathroom twice and while this was manageable the first time the contractions had become so intense that I had to be in the off position to handle them and I couldn’t do this on the toilet. I got back to the rocking chair as fast as I could. I started to feel nauseous and made a point after the next contraction to say this out loud for my doula and my midwife to know what was going on. My doula said that the only way she could know that a contraction had started was my eyelids would flutter a bit. I thought it was very obvious due to my breathing and going limp but I guess I was much more aware of these things than they were. The doula asked if I felt pressure in my bum and while there was some it didn’t feel any different than what I had been experiencing and didn’t want to focus too much on this since it distracted me from my hypnosis. They were really intense and I was starting to feel a little frantic about how I was going to get through them for much longer. I finally told my doula after she asked a third time about the pressure that “I don’t know, maybe.” The midwife at this point wanted me to get on the bed again to check the baby’s heart rate and my cervix and while I got up without complaining to do this inside I was really worried because I felt that I had a slim grip on my control at this point and I knew that it would get worse when I got on the bed. I had been in transition for a while. I thought I might be due to the nausea and how the contractions had changed and I was starting to question whether I keep my control.
I got on the bed and immediately felt that everything hit me at once and had intense and a different type of p**n and I wasn’t sure what to do. Well it turns out my baby was crowning and my change in position had refocused everything to my perineum. I struggled for a second to figure out where I wanted to be. I tried all fours briefly and that didn’t feel right and finally just dropped to my side and lifted my right leg up in the hope that would alleviate the intensity. Everyone jumped at this point because this is the first they realized that my baby was coming and they had to scramble to get on gloves and to make sure the nurse was back in the room. My husband was wonderful throughout this whole ordeal and he was at my side holding my leg up for me and unfortunately didn’t get to see much of the birth because of my leg in his face. I didn’t have much control like I did during the contractions. I was more vocal and I remember asking for someone to help me and that she felt like she was tearing me. The midwives were able to put pressure on me and helped me to know how much pressure to use to get her to move out of the canal. The concern for insulin dependent gestational diabetes babies is that the baby’s trunk can be bigger than the head. So once her head was born we still needed to get her chest and abdomen out. They helped me slowly move both her shoulders out and then her body slipped out. This was so wonderful to feel the pressure ease and to turn onto my back and to see my baby girl for the first time. I was able to reach down to feel her head while she was crowning but for some reason I couldn’t open my eyes because of the intensity and so the first thing I saw after getting on the bed was her purple blue wet body being put on my belly. The cord wasn’t long enough to get to my chest. I was able to tell them to not cut the cord until it stopped pulsing and to let my husband cut the cord (which I have a beautiful picture of). I was also able to tell them to let the placenta detach and to not pull and they were wonderful throughout everything to do as I asked and I was able to not worry about them and to just enjoy my new baby that was squalling on my chest and to look at her beautiful full head of black hair, chubby checks and squished up nose. The midwives checked me and could not find any signs of tearing. As one of them said, “not even a skid!”
Brie Evelyn weighed in at 8 pounds 10 ounces. (The ultrasound the day before estimated her at 9 pounds.) She was 21 inches long. Her head circumference was 14 inches and her chest was 14.2 inches.
My water was broken at 7:50 am and she was born at 10:18 am after 3 minutes of pushing. So just about two and a half hours later. In fact she was born just 20 minutes shy of the full four hours required for the treatment of Group B Strep which requires a 48 hour stay for monitoring. We declined this and went home the following day.
This was an amazing birth for me. It was not p**n-free. But it was perfect for me. I didn’t expect to not feel the cramping and the p**n. So it could be that this was my own fault for not creating a completely comfortable expectation but it was perfect for me as I was able to handle the feelings that I did have and I was able to rely on my own strength and that of my husband and the direction of my doula to get through the labor to get to the joy of my baby’s birth.
After the birth I had the nurse say to me that she was honored to be able to attend me during my birth. That Brie’s birth was what a natural birth should be like. The midwives both were very impressed with the birth and the control that I had. This amazes me because I am a wimp when it comes to pain. I later had to have a shot of Pitocin due to my hemorrhaging and I hated this more than the labor (see, wimp). This birth gave me an understanding of myself and my ability.
I recently talked to my doula to find out her point of view about the birth and according to her my birth looked exactly like the textbook Hypnobabies labor. I was relaxed and looked like I was asleep the whole time. She reminded me that the midwives that attended the birth had a combined catch record of a couple thousand births and they could not tell when I was having a contraction. She also said that it was the most wonderful birth that she had ever seen. I have to say that I am quite proud of that and of myself. I learned a lot about what I can handle and that I do not give up. Doing Hypnobabies involves a lot of commitment and time even before the birth and this is something that I know gave my baby the best possible beginning.
Things I would change:
I would try to prepare more for the pushing. I felt out of control during this time and it felt like forever even though it was only 3 minutes. Perhaps if I had more time I could have refocused myself but it went so fast I didn’t really try. I don’t even remember having any more contractions per se once I began pushing.
I would have my husband in a better position to watch the birth and I would have had my eyes open to watch her come out and to maybe have helped catch her.
Things I would never change:
The midwives were wonderful as was the hospital I chose for my birth. They were on board completely for whatever I needed to do. One of the benefits of living in a small rural area I guess.
I would definitely have my doula by my side. She helped me focus and was able to direct me through the contractions with scripts that she tailored for the moment. This allowed me to know what to do mentally while I relied on my husband for his strength and love to get me through. She in no way took away from my husband’s role but she did enhance my role as the laboring Hypnomom. Even my husband has said that he was grateful she was there to do the vocal direction while he was my rock and reason for continuing.