Originally Posted on May 27, 2009 by Robin from Birth Activist blog (which no longer is up – so I put it here so others can enjoy her analogy, which I loved.)
So I was driving down the street listening to an interview with Rocco Mediate, a golfer who nearly beat Tiger Woods last year in a huge golf tournament. He was singing the praises of his golf caddy. That’s when it struck me how wonderful a caddy would be in labor! Seriously, let’s look at the benefits of using a golf caddy:
*A caddy is there to help only you.
*He knows a lot about golf, but also understands that you know the game well.
*The caddy offers tips and suggestions that are personalized to you.
*He hands you clubs as you need them, sometimes before you knew what you needed.
*A caddy is always quick with a drink or a cool cloth.
*When the game gets tough the caddy helps you keep it real.
*The caddy will not let you lose sight of what you are doing or why you are there.
*A golf caddy never upstages you on the green.
*Your caddy never takes the shot for you.
*A professional golfer would never play the game without his caddy.
I could go on and on about why everyone needs a golf caddy for labor and birth. But I guess you already know that they are available for everyone who wants one – your doula. Hopefully this analogy will be helpful in explaining what a doula does!
We purchased our Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid February 20th, 2018 from Huntington Beach Chrysler. I needed a mini van to hold all of the kids in the carpool I am in for my youngest son. I wanted a rear view camera and a Bluetooth radio. Our older van I had bought a new radio with Bluetooth, because I wanted that feature and loved it. I used it every day! So I knew I wanted that on my new van.
The very next day I noticed a problem with the radio. The Bluetooth never remembered my phone. Also sometimes the FM radio would work, sometimes it wouldn’t. Sometimes SXM would work, sometimes it wouldn’t. Then the radio would randomly reboot. It was very frustrating.
I called the Uconnect line and they said it sounded like the radio needed a hard reboot and I needed to go to the dearlership for that. I brought the van into Chrysler Tuttle Click on February 23rd at 8:30 am and picked it up the next day only to find that nothing had been done at all. They said I needed a new software updated that wasn’t available. (2 days)
I waited awhile, but the problem of the rebooting had stopped, but the other problems persisted. I brought it back on March 8th (1 day) asking them to at least try to hard reboot it or find some sort of situation. Seemed more like a short than a software problem. David was very helpful. He had them check it out more thoroughly and said that it looked like there was a problem with the radio and I would need a new one. I thought it had been ordered. It was not ordered because they needed to run more tests on it first. So I had to bring it back on the 14th, . David wasn’t sure how many tests they would need to run to get the radio approved, so he got me a rental and I left it there until the 16th. (3 days)
The radio was ordered and it was finally installed March 27th. (1 day) I was so glad to get it installed before our spring break trip. The FM radio and SXM worked consistently as did the CarPlay 99% of the time. However the Bluetooth still didn’t work. I would connect the phone, then after the car was turned off for more than 20 minutes it would forget there had ever been any phone connected. Then during our trip the next week, occasionally the rear view camera wouldn’t work. That seemed to happen 1-2 times a week.
I had gotten a notice in the mail about the software update, so I was hopeful that things would finally get all fixed. The rear view camera was not working more often and I really missed the Bluetooth so I really wanted to get things resolved.
I knew I needed to bring it back in, however I have the carpool situation and drive almost every day for that, so it is really challenging not to have the van available to pick up the kids. I waited until May 4th because a child was going to be out of town from the carpool for a few days and the kids would fit in my husbands car. I dropped the van off Friday morning around 10 AM, hoping to have it back by Saturday. It wasn’t ready until Monday at 4:30. (4.5 days) I had a dinner party that night, so was not able to travel the 40 minutes it would take me to go and pick up the car and return in time to be ready for the guests to arrive. So I had to pick it up Tuesday. I had high hopes.
I got the Bluetooth to work the second time I turned the car on. Then the third time I turned the car on, the radio started rebooting, about every minute. It has done this each time I have driven it since then. So no radio, no back up camera, no Bluetooth – nothing!!! Just irritating rebooting, over and over and over again.
My van has been in the shop for over 11 days to get the radio fixed. Even the new one that was installed didn’t work correctly. It takes 80 minutes of my time to drop the van off and then return later to pick it up. I don’t have the time to be bringing my brand new van to the shop. A new van should WORK!!!! This is why I bought a new van, paying over $40,000, so I could drive carpool AND have a rear view camera and bluetooth radio. Nothing TOO crazy. Bonus I had a hybrid van – I do love the way it drives and like that it has good gas mileage. If the radio worked I would say that it is a great van. However the radio is something you pretty much use every drive, so it really effects my feelings about it!
I am at the point where I just want to return the van and get something else. I have little hope that this is an issue that can actually be fixed. As I have researched there are many people struggling with similar issues.
I had 3 working/learning trips. Birthdays, Primary Program, helping a son with college applications and much more. I wanted to be able to do all those things from a place of peace.
I already had a daily prayer practice, but taking the time to decide what I wanted to “circle” in my prayers helped me to see all the little blessings over those 40 days. It increased my testimony of the power of prayer.
I was telling my Finding Joy in the Journey students about it and they wanted to do one too. I said we could do it together and when I looked at Thanksgiving to New Years Eve and realized that was 40 days, I knew that would be the perfect time. There is a lot on my plate for those 40 days. I will have to do it all. It will be so much better if God is helping me.
I want to open this challenge up for everyone. If you are wanting to do #LightTheWorld I am going to find a way to incorporate that. 🙂
Here are the 6 easy steps!
If you are able to, buy the book. I am going to re-read the book while I do the challenge. I will mostly share different stories than from the book and it will be short and sweet. A scripture and short thought. The book is great and will deepen your study if you want. It has 2-3 pages per chapter/topic.
Write down what you
- need to do
- want to do
- how you want to do it!
between Thanksgiving and New Years Day.
Won’t it be great to pray specifically for help with all of your things?
Add this list to your Prayer Cheat Sheet.
(Create one if you don’t have one already)
If you want support through the 40 day Journey, let me know by signing up for a daily reminders, which will include a scripture and maybe an additional thought.
Choose your favorite option:
Watch the War Room movie.
The next movie you watch should be this!!! It is ok to watch with your family. It will inspire you about the power of prayer. (It is not about “war”. It is about the battle we fight every day to protect and save our family. One of our most powerful tools is prayer and this movie demonstrates that.)
Thanksgiving Day – the 40 days begin!
- If you bought the book start reading. Read 1 short chapter a day. (2-3 pages)
- If you signed up for reminders, read scripture and positive thought every day. I promise it will be short and sweet.
- Pray every day and “circle” your list.
- Notice how God helps you! That was my favorite part, when I circled the prayer the next morning I would see so clearly how He helped me the day before.
After you give birth you will get this little squirt Peri-bottle. If you are at a hospital you get it “free”, if you have a homebirth you probably have one in your birth kit.
Great for cleaning your perineum after using the bathroom.
Well, I found something even better, that I have been using all the time, not just after having a baby. (My baby is almost 12!) It is a Travel Bidet.
What makes is so great? It has the long nozzle so you can easily reach all your parts. It has a little air lock on the bottom you can cover with your finger so water doesn’t come out when you don’t want it to.
All I have to say is I have it sitting next to my toilet all the time, ready to be used as needed.
Along with my Squatty Potty,
I would say it is a much needed supply for toileting. After baby and throughout life!
It may be my newest baby shower gift I give. Along with a copy of The Gift of Giving Life! 😉
I love doing group clearings. It is a way to help a lot of people all at once!
When I was preparing to teach my Clearing Negative Birth Experiences Class (Which you can listen to here.) I realized I wanted to do a Birth Group Clearing.
I would love for you to join in! It will be very similar to a visualization, where you get in a relaxed position and listen.
I am holding a free Birth Clearing Class this Thursday. I would love for you to join.
Click here to sign up.
I want to Enjoy Birth, but a past negative birth experience is making it hard to trust that it is possible.
I often have moms who are pregnant and nervous about their upcoming births, because of past negative birth experiences. I love working with them, because with energy work we can quickly and easily see a shift.
I have even worked with moms that want to have another child, but are having such a hard time moving past their birth that they don’t want to get pregnant. They are really stuck.
I remember being scared to have another baby after my first birth, which was traumatic for my son and I. I had to really dig deep to be brave enough to get pregnant. I was so worried the pregnancy and birth would be a repeat of the first experience. Even though I logically knew that probably wouldn’t happen, the fear was there.
Once I was actually pregnant, then I had to face the birth. I searched out tools to help me move past the fear. At the time I used hypnosis to help me shift. I think that is a powerful tool. I still suggest moms use hypnosis. Since birthing that baby (T3), I discovered energy work, which works faster and is an easier tool to help clear negative experiences. Now, I also use Energy Work to help moms release their negative experiences and get into a grounded more positive space about an upcoming birth.
If you are interested in learning more about energy work and how it can help you move past a negative birth experience, I am having a free online class to share more about how energy work can help you!
You will learn what energy work is. I will teach you some simple tools you can use on yourself and I will also take a volunteer or two and do a birth clearing demonstration during the class.
Please click here to sign up!
Birth is one of those things that is very fluid. Even if we prepare as much as possible, things sometimes come up which can make birth not so enjoyable. This can sometimes make it hard to let go and move past the birth experience.
Is there an easy way to move past a birth experience and shift to a more positive outlook on what happened?
This was a question I often asked myself. I had as I spent years trying to move past my first birth, which was traumatic for me and my son. He was a very angry little boy and I just kept feeling that it stemmed from his birth. I also was in a lot of fear of losing him from the birth and so I mothered him in a very controlling way. Which created this interesting cycle and it wasn’t very healthy.
I went to traditional therapy, but the therapist didn’t really understand what the problem was and after 2 or 3 sessions I realized it wasn’t going to help. I got therapy for him and it didn’t seem to help either.
I kept praying and searching. There had to be a way to shift, there had to be a way to move past that experience.
Finally, when T1 was 8 years old the answer came.
It was at a class where someone was teaching about Energy Work, which I had never heard of before, what she taught was intriguing and when she asked for a volunteer, my hand shot up so fast! I was SO excited when she picked me. She did some releasing of emotions and other things. (I can’t remember exactly what.)
I did feel a little lighter when she was done, but I wasn’t sure if it would really make a difference. But, when I went home, T1 was different and so was I. That got me very intrigued. I started learning more and more about energy work. I read books and took classes. I started doing it on me and my son and eventually friends and now clients.
I feel like Energy Work was the key to help me have a much healthier relationship with T1 and with myself!! I can now look back on his birth with neutral emotions, even gratitude for parts. He is a well adjusted, happy 19 year old, which is great to see.
I love working with moms and their kids who want to move past a birth experience.
It fits so well with my experiences supporting moms through pregnancy and birth. It is such a joy to be able help them in shifting to neutrality and often even up to positive emotions.
If you are interested in learning how to clear a negative birth experience, I am having a free class on August 17th to share more about energy work and how it can help.
I will also take a volunteer or two and do a demonstration during the class.
Please click here to sign up!
I was asked to do a review on the book Second Chance a mother’s experiences of 2 births. Her first was a hospital planned vaginal birth turned to cesarean and the book included her quest to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). As a VBAC mom myself I of course was interested in her experiences.
I loved the way the book was written, with flashbacks to different points in her life. From childhood experiences to her first birth. I also appreciated that her second birth, while she was successful in her home VBAC, she needed a hospital transfer for a placenta issue. I love how she was able to handle that with grace. It showed that emergencies can be handled well with homebirths.
Help for Moms Struggling with Birth Trauma
I work with moms struggling with birth trauma. It is one of my favorite things to do, because the pain from birth trauma is often misunderstood. I love being able to talk with the moms and do emotional clearing for them. While reading Second Chance, I really wanted to be able to sit down with Thais and let her know that all she was feeling was normal and offer her some energy clearing to help her shift to a better place.
I was really happy when she found some support for her journey to healing. It is common for people to have to search out those experienced with birth trauma to find healing, as it isn’t often recognized or understood by many. As happened with her first experience with a therapist in trying to get help.
I really enjoyed reading Second Chance. It was well written and the story was good showing the many different aspects a mother may face in her quest for a VBAC. I appreciate that Thais was willing to open her heart and share her journey with us.
Give Away –
Leave a comment why you want to win the book and I will pick a winner on May 30th!
I was excited to try the ZenBand because I had a similar product that had recently accidentally gone through the washing machine with the bed sheets and had bit the dust. So I was thrilled to be able to try the ZenBand. (They were kind enough to send me one for free, so I could try it and write a review.)
I use sleep headphones when listening to hypnosis scripts at night while falling asleep, or in the middle of the night if I wake up and can’t fall back asleep.
I really enjoyed the ZenBand.
- The first thing I noticed was that it was comfortable. The seams are very small flat and are not noticeable when laying down. 🙂
- Also the sizing was nice, tight enough to stay in place, but not too tight. 🙂
- It can double as an eye mask. 🙂
- The sound quality was good. 🙂
- The ear pieces do move around quite easily within the bands. This can be good, because it is easy to get them in just the right place you want them on your ears. Which is great when I am awake and about to go to sleep. 🙂 However, in the middle of the night, it is challenging, because I am half asleep and it is harder to get them situated and since they move so easily they don’t stay in place from when I took them off in my sleep after originally falling asleep.
- The only other observation is that the headphone pieces are not as flat as the other brand I had, which makes it potentially not as comfortable if you are lying on your side. However, for me I like to listen on my back, so the ZenBand works well for me.
If you are using a hypnosis for childbirth program, sleep headphone bands like this are a great tool. You can get ZenBands here.