How it all started

I interviewed Felice, who was the one who started the whole project.  Our ring leader.

What inspired you to write a birth book about spirituality of birth?

I was pregnant with my first baby and there was a dearth of information on it. My mother died when I was young and I lacked that person to talk to or go to with questions. My friends weren’t much help as far as comfort. They were terrified or traumatized by birth.

Then by the grace of God I was led to a great yoga class in a spiritual community and I realized that pregnancy could be spiritual and bring me closer to God. They had a few good books on pregnancy that were mostly written by Sikhs and I love how they unapologetically talked about God and spirituality. I noticed this missing from all the books I found at the book store. I realized something like that needed to be created for women of my faith.

The inspiration actually came to me when I was lying down in my final resting pose in a yoga class and communicating with my baby by just breathing in and out and I got the “inspiration” to write a book. I felt like she told me about it first. Then once the inspiration started flowing it just wouldn’t stop, so I had to write it. Then I was lucky enough to be inspired and led to the women who would help me. One of which is you! I am so happy to have your voice in the book, Sheridan.

Has being a part of this project changed you in any way? 

In almost every way. Probably the most obvious is that my career path has changed. I was guided to become a hypnotherapist, and a Kundalini Yoga and meditation teacher. Learning about how the mind works (in relation to everything else) has changed the way I communicate, the way I parent, the way I see the world. And having a deep daily practice of meditation gives me so much peace and power.

But I also changed in subtle ways too. In the beginning I thought that the book was about natural childbirth, then I came to see it was really about the spirituality of birth, and even now I am realizing that is not what it is actually about. It’s about the amazingness of being a woman no matter what stage of life you are in.

What is the favorite section you wrote?

It’s strange, I don’t really remember the sections. It’s almost like they wrote themselves. When I read them now I am sort of shocked that I wrote them. I guess I do have a special spot in my heart for the Meditation Chapter. It is such an important thing to me. There are many misconceptions about meditation and I just really love to clear those up and help people find their own practice, because that will be the biggest game changer for women and men the world over, if they can learn to commune with God.

Coupon Code and Free MP3

Visit The Gift of Giving Life site to sign up for their newsletter and to receive a free Meditation MP3 as well as tips to help increase spirituality in your pregnancy and birth.

For my readers I have a coupon code for 10% off a copy of The Gift of Giving Life.   Click here and after you add the book to your cart use this coupon code.  GWFWXR3F  This code is good until Father’s Day 2012.

At one point T1 came up to me with his friends and said,

“Tell the boys it is OK to breastfeed in public.”

(first off I love that he knows that and secondly how great he wanted to defend it!)

So I ask the boys, “What is going on?”

1 boy said,

“There is a lady over there breastfeeding and that is disgusting!  She should go in the bathroom to feed her baby.”

(I instantly think, he didn’t come up with that on his own, he heard that from someone else he knows, most likely family…. So I tread lightly)

“Well, it is actually her legal right to feed her baby wherever she wants.  So if it makes you uncomfortable just go somewhere else.”

They ran off away from the breastfeeding lady and helped somewhere else.

Later on the Ride Home

Later when we were driving home they started talking about it again.  I listened but also reinforced that a woman has the right to feed her baby anywhere.  That it would be disgusting to feed a baby in a bathroom, would they eat in a bathroom?

Being 13 year old boys they all said “YES” to that question without hesitation.

I ended with saying I could see how it may make them uncomfortable and they can always leave the situation.  But that I imagine when they have babies and their wives  breastfeed,  I know they will support her in feeding her baby wherever she wants.

They were quiet for a few seconds and then moved onto a new topic.

It was a challenge to stay neutral

I hope I handled that in a way that respected their feelings, but opened their eyes to seeing it in a new way.  I am super glad that my son was cool with her breastfeeding and came to me to help defend it to his friends.  I hope that when they grow older they will see it as something normal.

With my second, I had prepared for birth using Hypnobabies and followed the schedule religiously.  I had a few Braxton Hicks before my birthing day, but nothing major.   I felt well prepared for birth and when it actually started, it was very textbook.  Pressure waves started light and far apart then became more regular and I knew it was time.  My birth with my second child was perfect and wonderful.

For this baby, everything was different.  I could NOT find time to listen to my scripts with any regularity.  Braxton Hicks started at about 20 weeks and got more frequent as time went on.  By 30 weeks I was having so many and they were pretty intense, that I began to wonder if they were the real thing and if I would know when my birthing time was starting. I also had a lot of anxiety going into this birth because my second child got stuck on the way out and at one point my midwives wanted me to consider having this baby in the hospital “just in case”.  An ultrasound at 36 weeks showed that this baby was much smaller, but I still had a lot of fear about another dystocia.

About two weeks before my guess date, I started having some pressure waves that were not Braxton Hicks, but didn’t feel like the real thing either, and I started to worry that I wouldn’t know the difference.  On May 2nd I had my 38 week appointment.  I laid out my plan to kick start labor around 39 weeks.  My midwife offered to do an internal, which I declined.

That night while I was getting ready for bed I had about 4 Braxton Hicks in rapid succession, then just as I was catching my breath I had a pressure wave.  There was no question in my mind that it was The Real Thing.  I had another several minutes later.  I went to the bathroom and saw some bloody show.  It was about 10pm, and my husband had just gone downstairs to play video games.   I let him know that baby might be coming tonight and not to stay up too late.  He decided to just come to bed.

I laid down listening to my pregnancy affirmations since I hadn’t had any more waves and tried to sleep.  My pressure waves woke me up off and on all night.  Each time, I woke up, I started another track.  At about 4 am I noticed that the waves had become more regular, and I told myself that with the next one I would wake my husband so we could start timing them.  I still felt ok, just getting a bit tired from the interrupted sleep.  The next thing I knew, my two year old was climbing into bed with us at 7am!

After breakfast, I logged onto my favorite message board and posted a whiny post about false labor and went on about my day.  I was still having pressure waves, but only about once an if that.  They were not intense at all for the most part.  I even gave my 2 year old a piggy back ride through a few of them.    By 10:30 I realized I hadn’t felt baby move at all since my last pressure wave at 4am.  I ate, drank and laid on my side a while and still felt nothing.    I decided to try again in a bit, thinking she might just be tired after all of the squeezing she’d gotten the night before.  After I’d given my kids lunch, I tried eating, drinking and lying down again and still got nothing .  I called my birth center to talk to the midwife on call.  She told me to come in to get put on the monitor for a bit.

I got to the birth center at about 2, and as soon as I put my car in park, I got hit with a pretty intense pressure wave.  While waiting to get put on the monitor,  I had another.  The midwife on call was attending a birth when I got there-in fact MOST of the midwives were, and I was seen by the clinical director.  While I was on the monitor she let me know that they were very busy-3 of the 4 birthing suites were full and they had two women who thought they might go today.  I was on the monitor for about 15 minutes and had had two pressure waves.

I looked at the tape, and noticed how LOOOOONG they looked on paper and asked the midwife to give me a time check.  They were 8 minutes apart, and about 1 minute-1 min, 15 secs long.  They had been intense, but nothing major so I asked the midwife is she thought they were the real thing.  After looking at me like I had two heads, she said “only YOU can tell ME that!!!”.  The waves stayed that regular for the whole 30 minutes I was on the monitor.  The midwife asked if I wanted to stay, or at least get an internal check, which I declined and decided to go home.

On the way home I had to pull over several times to relax through some pressure waves.  But when I got home-they stopped!!!!!  At 5 pm they started to pick back up, and I told my husband that I really needed to take a nap.  I started dinner and had to stop a LOT to rock or squat through the waves.  I still felt ok-like I had HOURS to go.  I got dinner to the simmer point and went to lay down.

I called my mom to let her know that the baby might come tonight.  She asked me if she should cancel her 7pm hair appointment and I told her I thought it would be later than that.  A few minutes later I had a pressure wave that made me change my mind and I called mom to let her know to come soon.  My mom got there at about 6 and fed the kids dinner.  My husband came to check on me and I told him to start packing up the car.  I got another pressure wave as soon as he left our bedroom, and I started to shake afterwards.   I started to get nervous because I remember that once the shakes started last time, I met my baby VERY soon afterwards.

My waves still were not regular, but I called the birth center anyway since I knew they were filling up.  They told me they were full, but the pull out couch was still open.  I lied and said my waves were 5 mins apart.  We left the house at 6:50 or so.

On the way out the door I asked my husband to grab a bucket-just in case. Good thing, too!  As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, I threw up.  We got the the birth center at 7:10 and I slowly made my way to the family room.  While my husband and midwife made up the pull out couch, I went to the bathroom.  I had a pressure wave and at the end I felt a little pushy.  They checked me and I was at 6cm.  We filled up the tub, and I got in.

With my next wave I felt REALLY pushy, but declined a check.  The nurse who was with me commented on how calm I was several times, which was amazing to me since my anxiety was through the roof, I was terrified of another dystocia.  I had another wave and told them I needed to push NOW!

I got out of the tub and got checked again and was only 9cm.  I was on the verge of a panic attack at that point and said that I had to push NOW.  My midwife told me she would push my cervix out of the way so I could and let me know that it would not be fun.   I told her to go right ahead.  As she reached in, my husband said “release!!!” and started whispering “relax” as I began to push.   About a minute in, I asked the midwife to stop, and she told me that I would have to stop pushing and I couldn’t.  I felt I needed baby out right NOW, so we kept going and my cervix was out of the way in a few more seconds.

As I felt baby crown, I did begin to relax. I was super focused and very relaxed as I pushed her all the way out.  After a whopping 5 minutes of pushing, Sinclaire Elise was laid on my chest at 7:40 pm.  She was beautiful and perfect-just like her birth!

Thank you again, Hypnobabies!!!

  Click here to buy now!  

Horray, our book has been born.  It is beautiful.  You can buy it now and it will be in your hands in a few days!  Just click here to buy.

 One Sentence Summary: A spiritual look at pregnancy and birth through inspiring birth stories and essays from dozens of real LDS women, scriptures, words of the prophets and other spiritual texts, The Gift of Giving Life if the essential pregnancy companion for every LDS woman.

“… imparting the beauty and joy, and the faith and trust, that is inherent in becoming a mother.”

“a collection of tender personal journeys in birthing and nurturing new life that provide moments of profound meaning to this common yet mystifying experience unique to women.”         ~Bonnie Baliff-Spanvill, Former Director of The Women’s Research Institute, Brigham Young University

Read Other Blurbs and Reviews

Write a Review – email us at: thegiftofgivinglife@gmail.com

See the Table of Contents

Read Excerpts from the Book

Here are some tips to help if you or someone you love breaks a jaw.

Mental State

• If you haven’t had surgery yet – Tell everyone who will be in surgery to speak only positively.  Saying such things like – “your stomach will feel calm and comfortable.”  ”You will heal quickly and easily.”   I did this with T1 and the staff was very accomodating and amazed at how quickly his recovery after surgery was.
• Believe that your body can easily heal itself!  IF you struggle with this hypnosis may help you to recover more quickly.

Supplies

• Borrow or buy a good quality blender.  You can spend $400 on a blendtech and if you have the money, go for it.  But we had our handy $100 Kitchen Aide and it did what I needed it to do.   I used it at LEAST once a day.  I would blend up a nice BIG smoothie each morning and freeze half for later in the day.  I would sneak in spinach and other healthy things too – see later tip for more info.  (Edited to add, my blender broke just as T1 got his jaw unwired.  So maybe it is worth it to spend more money, though my magic bullet still blends just fine!)
• Get a Magic Bullet.  We used ours numerous times a day.  If I had to choose between getting a blender or a magic bullet, I would get the magic bullet.  What I LOVED about it is that if I made a big smoothie in my big mixer, I would freeze half in a magic bullet cup.  When T1 wanted more I could pop it in the microwave, add a bit of milk and blend it up.  Super easy.  I would also blend up soups using this and heat in the cup.  The cups work great from freezer to microwave and are easy to clean.  I would just rinse off the blade as I used it throughout the day and pop it in the dishwasher at night.  Everything cleaned up so well, unlike some of my other cups which would leave smoothie residue in them after the dishwasher, but these cups were CLEAN.
• You need straws and get the thicker ones.   Some are pretty skinny and it is harder to suck soup thorugh those.  Also if you want get a cute straw holder! The straws in here are not super thick – but it is fun to get the straws out of here and makes me smile a little bit each day.  Let me tell you, straws are used ALL day long!  We go through at least 10 a day.   Note to self – if you have also broken an arm – skip the cute straw holder, you need 2 hands to work it, one to open and one to grab a straw.  I should have thought that through better.  But you probably don’t have a broken arm too, so you can count your blessings as you easily use your cute straw holder.  :)

Main Food “choices”

I will be honest, my biggest concern when T1 broke his jaw was how to keep him full. He is a HUNGRY 14 year old growing boy, I knew I was in for a challenge.  Here is how I did it and I did it so well, he gained a pound instead of losing weight!  Man can not live on Ensure alone.  So I made sure we had each of these other items at least once a day.  One cream of wheat, one soup, one shake and one smoothie along with unlimited Ensures.

• Ensure –  T1 had at least 5 of these a day.  Wow, and they aren’t cheap.  You can find coupons and Costco has them too.  At Costco they are about $1 a bottle.  Sometimes on sale and with a coupon I could get them for a little less.  I also got the generic kinds, especially if they were on sale.

• Soups – I started with just tomato, but quickly realized these were easy to blend up and add variety to his diet.  His favorite was the Sweet Potato Chipotle soup.  I would mix with some milk in the Magic Bullet cups and heat up for 1-2 minutes in the microwave.  Easy meal.
• Instant Cream of Wheat – Fast and Easy breakfast.  I would heat in microwave, stir well and then add milk to desired texture.
• Healthy Shakes – Carnation Instant Breakfast – I would blend with frozen banana, milk and bluebonnet calcium and it made a fast and easy shake.
• Smoothies —  Endless variety of these, they have mixes in the freezer, but you can easily create your own.

Things to add to your “smoothies”

• Liquid Calcium – this is a must as your bones are healing.  Bluebonnet Liquid Calcium is the best and its fruity flavors make it easy to add to smoothies.
• Protein Powder – You need protein too, so get a good powder.
• Veggies – Go to Green Smoothie Girl to learn all about incorporating veggies into your smoothies, this may revolutionize your life!

Wild Meals -

There comes a point where you just need something MORE or DIFFERENT to eat.  It can be done!  We have blended up In N Out burgers with beef broth, we have blended up eggs and bacon.  Your imagination is your only limitation.  Dinner Through A Straw has a great cookbook which helped inspire us.  Our Doctor gave us a copy, but it is worth buying if you don’t get one.

You will Survive!

Before you know it you will be back to your old self. The stories you can share will be worth the challenge.  I have linked to some items from Amazon and I am an affiliate with them.  Feel free to shop around and find these items at different places, borrowing some things makes more sense if you can.   But again if I was to only buy one supply it would have been the magic bullet, that was our go to tool.  :)

Well, I was curious so I watched.  It wasn’t pretty, it was graphic and it made me hurt to watch it.   I felt it physically and emotionally.

T2 was watching me watch the video (he didn’t see the video at all).  Just by watching me watch it he felt sad and scared and afterward asked me to release some emotions he had taken on from watching me watch.

It brought home to me how sensitive he is and I am actually very similar. I FEEL what others are feeling, unless I use my bubble of peace to protect myself.  (Bubble of Peace is a Hypnobabies tool)

As birth workers we need to have a strong bubble of peace or some type of protection so we can support others in their feelings and experiences without taking them on as our own.

How many of you have taken on your clients emotions during a birth?

What tools do you use to keep this from happening?  Or do you not find it to be a problem?

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I got a copy of this book to read and review and do a give away on my blog.  This is a book where the author, Erin gathered time honored tips to birth and raise a baby.

I really enjoy the layout of this book.

• There are 10 different sections from Expecting to Remembering
• Within each section there are short little chapters with different topics important to pregnant and new moms.
• In a few short steps she explains how to do whatever the topic is.
• Then she follows up with some extra tips.

For example in the Comforting Section there is a chapter called Scoop Poop: How to Change a Diaper has 8 simple steps to follow and then has 5 extra tips such as how to avoid getting sprayed if you have a boy.

It is easy to read and would be good for expecting parents or new parents. In a world where parents are inundated with parenting books, this is a nice simple, down to earth book that covers it all.    I think it is ideal for first time parents.  Most other parents already have learned these things.  However I learned some new ideas in the Remembering Section that were pretty great and I would use if I had another baby.  So even seasoned parents could learn some useful things from the book. 

If you want a chance to win a copy of this book (US addresses only) please visit Erin’s Site about How To Rock Your Baby and then leave a comment here about why you want to win it.  The give away closes on April 30th.

After so many sessions I was doing good.

I thought, I am over all this birth stuff NOW!

Then I went to a birth, that was mostly good.

But there was a part that was really hard for ME.  Mom was fine about it, but I was NOT.  I was very agitated about it the 2 weeks before I could see Pam.

I did all I could think of releasing my tension about it.  I talked to a fellow doula about it.  I wrote out the experience.  I prayed.  I did the Emotion Code.  But I just couldn’t let it all go.

So when I talked about it with Pam and she asks, “Can you think of an experience in your life that was similar to this?”

This mom had a vaginal birth, so I never connected it to T1′s birth.  But after sitting there for a minute or so, it clicked.  T1′s birth was similar to this moment in this moms birth.  Again, this mom was fine with what happened.  But it was SO hard for me.

I realized that my emotions were all stemming from what I had felt as an observer, which was connected very strongly emotionally into my experience 14 years before.

I had moved down to take some pictures for her and a situation occured where, to me, she looked helpless and abandoned.  I put down the camera and moved back to her and talked her through it and kept her centered (which is probably why she didn’t feel traumatized by it.)

Pam pointed out that my “career” means I have chosen to run certain patterns.

Birth is a pattern for me.  I said, “Does this mean I shouldn’t do it???”  But she reassured me that many time the patterns we run, actually become our gifts.  I was able to help this mom feel connected and she wasn’t abandoned.  That it is now my GIFT!

I thought that was amazing and beautiful.  I know a lot of moms who experience Birth Trauma go into birth professions.  I don’t know if we all know why, but it was eye opening to see it!

Are you a birth worker?  Did you have a birth trauma that inspired you to work in this field?

T3 waited pretty patiently.

I felt him hovering about and knew he was there, but I felt no urgency.  It wasn’t until Jan of 2005 in Relief Society watching the pregnant chorister when I felt like “NOW, I am ready NOW!”  (I don’t know if that feeling was from him or me!)

We had been casual with birth control for a few months, but I was now ready to TRY.  I may have actually been pregnant when I got that feeling as he was born in October and I can’t remember what week of January that happened.

I haven’t had that feeling since T3 was born

I don’t feel a baby waiting and neither does Rob. We never have.  Once T3 was born there was no more baby hovering around.  I keep thinking maybe we will feel that.  But with prayer and fasting and wanting, that feeling still isn’t there.

I guess that means we are done.

• Is it really that simple???
• What if that makes me feel sad?

I am still pretty open to whatever happens, but since coming to this simple “answer”,   I have let go of the drama surrounding the question of “Are we done?” 

If we are meant to have another baby, T4 will appear.  If he doesn’t then I guess we are not meant to have 4 things.

I am at peace either way.  (Well, honestly if I got pregnant it would probably freak me out to some extent, but I think I would quickly come to peace with it and be very excited.)